Okay, no scrolling now! *LOL*

Can I tap my little red shoes three times and go to somewhere other than Kansas *g*

sure ya can .. not sure it works, though *s* ... i have tried it once or twice myself *s* ... why dont you just hit on my name to e-mail me? or would be tooooooooo easy? *smile* ...... missed me, huh? or just couldn't resist the challenge? *grin* ... pick one

http://parallel.park.uga.edu/~crice/faustus.html

Please do tap your red shoes. Are those rubies? Wow, cool shoes. Tap you shoes and go to the wonderful land of Oz(stralia.) Wizard? Why yes, there is a wizard. And he can grant your wish (as long as it's for vegamite sandwiches.)

Both and neither

*wants to meet the wizard* .. I am sure I could convince him to give me a better wish that a vegemite sambo!!! *L* ..
I don't like vegemite.

I thought it was you tapping your red shoes .. cute you look in them, too!! OK .. *confessions time* .. I am LaceTheWickedWitchOfTheSouth ... I can grant wishes, tooooooooo. Where would you like your red shoes to take you?

..... taps foot

............... cause i don't have red slippers.

*wanders off to sleep in the poppie field*

Hey, joo betta stay outta dat poppie feel, joo gonna gate hook. Hey, dat was annuddah guess up dere

Oh sorry for causing confusion
They were my little red shoes...

Ruff ruff

Hey, get off my leg dog, I'll rust

Damn dingo!

Hay ya'll

I'll say, you're gettin hay all over the place. How bout grabbin that oil can and get that feckin dingo offn me leg.

Oi you drongo, that's me water bottle, I said oil can. If you had half a brain, you'd be dangerous!!

Lions and Tigers and Bears, Oh My !!

wow!! what a show!

*calls the kids in to wait for the next act*

Picks up Toto and shows him a gum tree...

*sings in her best Aussie singing voice* ......

Give me a home amoung the gum trees,
with lots of plum trees,
a sheep or two and a kangaroo.
A koala out the back
verandah out the front
and an old rocking chair!

carefull, Toto, the koala's are drunk all the time on the dum leaves *smile*

well, gum .. *s*

gum is the tree, dum is the scarecrow

Everybody thinks the Scarecrow is the smart one. Ha! No way, he dresses poorly and has no brain

*sigh* ... waves goodbye

what happened to the Cowardly lion, he was here earlier?

Come to think of it, what happened to Dorothy?
Hey, there's something fishy goin on here.

Here I am *BURP*

Hey, where's Dorothy?

Look, there she is!! Hey, what's wrong with her? Her eyes are all glazed over...

*L* sorry guys, mind was wanderin a bit...just calculating the worth of this poppy field *looks attentive* what was it you were saying?

I am marketable?

Not legally

*wonders where lacie is*

*thinks to self. I gotta figure a way to be alone with Dorothy for a while, she is one hot farmer*

pffftttt ... Dotty has NOTHING on me !!

Hey poppy, the scarecrow has a thing for you *LOL*

Grins @ cowardly lion..
ya know where ya can find me *s*

damn .. the stuffed ones always fancy me.

The Scarecrow's a real stuffed shirt

Oz is a wonderful place, crocodiles, dingos, roos, people with funny hats, toilets that flush the other way, the outback. What a great country!

speaking of people with funny hats, don't forget tamedingo and typan and lacie and bolloxed and baju and celticaus and shiela -

they are all from the land down under where women blow and men thunder. where the vegemite sandwich, tomato sauce and snags on the barbie are staples. a place where calling someone 'a silly old bastard' is a term of endearment. where it reaches 110 in the shade and it is called 'a nice day'. wearing your thongs doesn't mean a skimpy piece of underwear. the place that exports Fosters, because the aussies wont drink the stuff. a wonderous place of sand, sea and surf, and silly old blokes who make TV shows about crocs and snakes to show in UK & US. where football, meat pies, kangaroos and holden cars are icons. now, this is Aus.

Beautiful rainbows too *s*

***I love a sunburned country,
A land of sweeping plains.
Of rugged mountain ranges,
Of droughts and flooding rains.

I love Her far horizons.
I love Her jeweled seas.
Her beauty and her terror,
This wide brown land for me.***

ohhhh yes!! and beautiful rainbows!! spectacular sunrises and sunsets!!

sheesh .. leave 'em alone and they mutiply !!

now, if we all think happy thoughts we just might all make it back to OZ...
just close your eyes and give your credit card number to Quantas...

Qantas .... the name is an anacronism of Queensland and Northern Teritory Air Service. no *u*

Thats cause the drunken koala forgot to paint the "u" in...now were's the rest of me little buddies...

ROTFLMAO

*remembers the nursery rhyme about Mary and the lambs ... wagging their tails ......


hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm ... do ya think, if we leave this crowd alone they will find their way home? *LOL*

back after setting up portfolio for Ms Poppy Field... supermodel here we come!!

Mary had a little lahm,
The doctors were surproised.
But when Old McDonald had a fahm,
They really opened their oise

Well well well, that was original

Grabs Dorothy by the hand and leads her off to the witches castle for a bit of broom

Hey guestie
this castle better have good facilities *L*

we have to leave?............Dotty?? you are taking the name of Ms Poppy Field? .. but that is ME .. *sob*

Sorry Poppy... I meant as ya agent *s*

wonders where that lion got to *looks behind tapestries*
He can be real animal when he wants to be *g*

Dorothy sits on castle steps waiting for lion to come back *

*thinks the lion got shot on safari* ........... *sigh*

ROOOOOOOOOOOAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRR, put em up, put em up, I'll fight ya with me hand behind me back, I'll fight ya with both hands behind me back...

Hi Dorothy *S*

oooooooooooooooooooo Dotty, his IS cute when he roars!! *wink*

*Extends claws, examines them, looks non chalant*

*LOL* hugs lion around the neck and scratches behind his ears*
he is a real pussy cat *g*

*holds pin behind her back **L*

Where did that motley crew get off to? We need to be off to see the wizard. Gonna have to keep Dorothy and that freekin' lion separated. Jaysus, the things I have to endure, and it looks like rain and I'm almost out of oil, and the price of petro is up and that witch keeps writin them ugly messages in the sky...uh oh, I can't seem to move me legs, oi, get away from me ya dirty dingo!! *Swings ax at Toto*
*GROAN*

*buys the moaning tinman a can of oil* .. you really are NO fun *sigh*

Hey, I can't help it if I rust. Somebody's got to keep things on track.

Hey, I haven't seen you do anything fun in here either

Runs the tinman a nice oil bath with lavender to lighten his mood and relax him after a hard weeks chopping *g*

Sit and Relax *g*

Thanks Dorothy. *BIG SMILE*

Turns the page onto a more exciting part of the story.

can i come with you Guest???

Sure, come on

thanks anyway ... but i got a better offer *wink*

Grabs her mates and walks down the yellow brick road...
although in Aus/Oz its more than likely to be red dirt *L*
and bangs on the door of the humpy that belongs to the wizard.

Okay lacie, I didn't see your name in the script anyway.

Dorothy speaks to the wizard and before they know it they are all magically transported to this fantastic Irish pub where they could all sit down and have a relaxing drink with excellent company.

ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh woooooooooooooo .. picky, picky Guestie - put dem claaawwws away! .. who died and put you in charge of the script, anyway?? ROTFLMAO

yeap...it's right here.....lacie enters, stage right on page 2.....see???

Well then get your arse in here and play your part then. I started this thing, nobody had to die.
*Flips through script*

Okay, okay, enough of this bickering. QUIET ON THE SET!!!!! Alright people, get to your places, cue the music, AND ACTION!!

Fade in: As the sun rises on the landscape of Oz (Aus), we find our hapless wanderers walking along the yellow brick road. Dorothy, the Scarecrow, the Cowardly Lion, the Tinman, and of course, Toto. As they walk down the path, they come to a wooded glen, and there, emerging from the bush is...
Lacie??? Holding a koala and a steno pad...

CUT!!! CUT!!! CUT!!!
I don't remember seeing this in my script. Okay, the koala and the steno pad I get, but does she have to be dressed in pasties and a G string?

Even I get the koala bit ... but the steno pad goes over my head *sigh*. Still, I have to jump to get lots of things, to use a QD phrase. Pasties and G string ...... well, they sound extremely interesting, but I am sure the audience and other players would run for Uluru if they saw me dressed like that LMAO.

*hands the visitors to Aus wide brimmed hats, tubes of suncream and a map to the beach* ya gunna need them *s*

*twirls into the room* I will be the stand-in for fat lacie!!! I look positively marvelous in pasties and a string!!

Hey!...Will somebody get Toto off my leg...darn dingo...doesn't say anything about this in my acting contract!....where's my agent!

*shoots Toto*

*hangs head* .. sorry, those safari's get me everytime!! .................. *digs a nice whole for Toto, place him in it........... says a pray for doggie heaven openings*

*watches in horror* ................... THE DINGO GOT OUR TOTO !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jaysus, this is definitely not a take. Okay, I want a rewrite on this script. Okay, nobody's dead. Lets start over again from the top.

Life's a bitch

Okay, lets get a few things straight. I'm not a dingo, I am not dead, I'm not buried, I was wearing a bullet proof vest. And there's no way you have a gun Ms. Lacie, cause they took em all away. Hrumph!!!
Oh, and I'm no bitch. I'm a stud *LMAO*

wooooooooooooo hooooooooooooooooooo .. a stud??? not seen anything that would indicate that ... *grin*

*orders a really, really nice headstone from the 'from the grave speeking Toto*

hey !! Director!! a bit of felexability is called for ........ go with the flow ! *L*

OK .. so lets do a head count ... we have lacie, a dead toto (who speaks NO more!! *L*), a rusting old tinman, a lion who hides, Dotty who is wonderfully sexy, a Director and a Scriptwriter who are learning the ropes *s* ....... and a prolification of guests *smile* ............... so now??

*SINGING* Well it's only a paper moon, hanging over an old oak tree, but it wouldn't be make believe, if you believed in me...

Paper schmaper, lets get on with it!!

*BITES Lacie on the leg*

Hey, I have your grave right here

so, where are the scripts???

ya call THAT a bite???? *LMAO* ....

Dorothy sits under the shade of a coolabah tree, sipping a nice cold cocktail and waits for all the group to get it together *LOL*

Call me when something happens will ya..I'll be in my trailer *g*
*whispers to herself..why is that short dogs are always sooo aggressive? *shakes head*

ROTFLMAO @ the sexy Dotty ..

got any champers in that trailer????

hey Dot .. you moonlight as a Swagman?? *L*

"once a jolly swagman, camped by a billabong
Under the shade of a Coolabah tree
and he sang as he watched, and waited for his billy boil
you'll come a watltzing matilda with me ........

Waltzing Matilda ..... Waltzing Matilda
you'll come a Waltzing Matidla with me
and he sang as he watched and waited for his billy boil
You'll come a Waltzing Matilda with me.

Down came a jumbuck to drink at that billabong
Up jumped the swagman and grabbed him with glee.
And he sang as he shoved that jumbuck in his tuckerbag
You'll come a wattzing matilda with me.

Waltzing Matilda ..... Waltzing Matilda
you'll come a Waltzing Matidla with me
and he sang as he shoved that jumbuck in his tucker bag,
You'll come a Waltzing Matilda with me.


.................................................

the other verses to follow ....... maybe *L*

It was a hell of a bite, you musta been anesthetized on something to not notice that they put 13 stitches in your leg

Opens the door of her trailer, holding out glass of champers for lacie...c'mon girl get outa that sun *g*
Throws a dog bikkie for Toto..
wonders where Cowardly lion, Tinman and Scarecrow have got to *frowns*

Hey Scarecrow, you got any money? We have one phone call. I told you not to cop that broom. That wasn't the wicked witch anyway you idiot. That was just an old lady. Okay, we gotta call somebody to bail us out of the pokie...any ideas?

ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh champers!! now THAT is a great anesthetic!!

I think to get you guys outa that predicament
your gonna need a wizard..

These boys in trouble again, Dorothy?!! Does it EVER end? *sigh*

OK, boys, you need help? *peers into the spell book*

We dont need no bloody wizard to get these two sorted out!!!!! *puts the bail money on the counter and drags Hubby and Tinman out the door*

In the carriage, with the emerald green horses, you two retrobates!! I will deal with you later. *mumbles under her breath about Tinman and his damnable escapades*

I heard that, and it wasn't me, it was that pusilanimous pile of bovine fodder that you are married to. He stole that old lady's broom. I told him not to. And the word is reprobates.

bovine fodder?????? ohhhhhhhhhhhhh my Lord!! SOME friend YOU are. Ya wouldn't wanna be an Aussie, or an Ozzie, cause mateship is the Law of the Land!
You wait 'till YOUR missus gets YOU !!! No Oil can for you for at least a month!!! *pokes out tongue*

retrobates/repobates .............. i think my word is better *s*

AND ... we paid the bail !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! you ungreatful shite!!

I sense a little biterness here

and bitterness too *LMAO*
Hey, who is that guy, I'm the Tin Man. How did he get the pass word?

*hands out the lemons* ... Tinman wants bitterness, people ...... suck on the lemons .... can we have tequilla with the lemon????

*whispers to Tinman* ... no extra points for spelling here .......

Yeah, like you got a corner on the spelling market. Stuff yourself, your hay's falling out.

*wonders who Tinman is talking to*???

I think he's talking to you Lacie. He probably thinks your Mrs. Scarecrow. Boy, I sure have missed this.

*L*

I've had some bad dates in my time, but not silly enough to marry a hayman *LOL* ... *silly guestie*

THE IS A NEW AUS IS OZ II, START POSTING THERE

NO .... not without a Pontification *pokes out tongue*

Well, you're a big girl, do what you want.

i always do, guestie *smile* .. you can rely on THAT

*gives in* .. you all win *L* ......... i am moving house, and my time is short. Keep having fun!!