Greetings fellow TirNaNoggians!
So...you were expecting deep thoughts maybe? Well...let's hear em!!! (And I will of course field any questions on the illumination of pages that ye might have :)

Here's a couple quotes to start us off with...

"Who, being loved, is poor?"
-Oscar Wilde

"The Irish are the only people
who cannot be helped by psychoanalysis."
-Sigmund Freud

*Heh heh*

hmmmmmmmmm *contemplates* ... one isn't poor if one is loved?

how about *one can not live on love alone* ....

ever tried serving up a plate of love at dinner time??? *LOL*

Maybe Old Siggy just couldn't understand the Irish mind?

I don't think he is on his Pat Malone there *L* ....... *hides with Celt*

*wonders if psychoanalysis could help Celt* ............. Nahhh!

speaking of illumination, Celt, where do ye want me to set up the floodlights?

50,000 watts of illumination should produce what I would most definitely call: "True Enlightenment"

Do I hear a "Heh, Heh" from the Congregation?

Sigmund Freud was as mad as an egg. Full stop.

i guess that must be the next topic, then -

"are eggs mad? and what are the metrics for determining this?"

puts on a pair of very dark shades and sets up a director's chair in front of the klieglights

We must help eggs to get out of their shells.

No jolks about eggs now.
This is serious!

Ask not what psychoanalysis can do for the Irish, but what the Irish can do for psychoanalysis.

okay, so the topic is eggs and their psycho-social tribulations....

...is an omelet the highest form of egg-spression for an egg?

...should the size of one's yolk make one egg more egg-ceptional than those with lesser yolks?

...why must eggs be forever subject to the egg-scrutiatingly complex question as to whether chickens came first?

sorry, Celt, this is your Board, what did you egg-spect from me? heh,heh

Sigmund Freud... now there's an oxymoron......
not to be confused with Aussiemormon... right Lace... *nudge nudge, wink wink*

Hey guys whassup?

illumination? Hmmm... now would that have anything to do with... the "size" of the light bulb?????

*cws*

Anyone for freud eggs?

How many psychonalysts does it take to change a light-bulb?
Answers please.

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<<< Celt's Illumination and True Enlightenment Corner >>>
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How do you like it, Celt? *bwg*

I tried to get it to blink,too, but I think I'm being thwarted by Acc

*puts on eggstra dark shades to contemplate Seamus' sign...eggxactly how I would have done it!
*pulls out cigar and couch* 'Now, Seamus, relax and und tell me about ze Papa und Mama...or maybe you vere frightened by der omelet when small boy?

ROFL@ Acc's ''Ask not'' comment....heh heh

change a light bulb into ?

are these Irish, Australian or American psychonalysts??
hmmm?

LOLOL
ROFLMAO
More, More
Egg-core
egg-core
!!

They are universal pschoanalysts and "no thwarting" when they're around okay lacie wacie?

Before helping the light-bulb to change into something, we need to step back a bit.

What of the bulbs earlier existence?
Does it want to change?

If it does want to change, should we encourage it, although suspecting that its options are quite limited?
Should we be cruel in order to be kind?

Should we have faith in the bulb? In the universe? Facilitate the bulb in its journey to self-knowledge -- be that fulfilment or perdition.

*screws in the light bulb*

(How's that for deep?)

...and what of the lightbulbs that are not so bright...does their dimness stem from the darkness of their existence?

...do the brighter ones find themselves more electrified?

...were lightbulbs oil lamps in an earlier life?

...and what of their current existence: being screwed once at their beginning of their life...and the ultimate humiliation, being screwed for a second time...but after their death?

the analysis continues...

Ah fehgedaboot it..... let's all get Lit!

LOL@feathre...i must admit, i find this all quite en-light-ening *G* do continue in your quest for self illumination...

*aside to seamus...where can i find all those cool fonts?*

^Tat, Acc's going to banish me for telling you this, but ...

try looking at formatting at the top of this screen

is the length of the filament an issue I wonder?

How about this--what is the sound of one light bulb clapping?
Is there Buddha nature in a light bulb?
Do you desire to be one with the light bulb, but not to be of the light bulb?
Is the light bulb that which is attained at the end of desire?
And really...Watts the difference, hmmm? Do light bulbs have current issues? How about the right to volt?
Now all, follow along: Ohmmmmmm...Ohm-ani Padme...

|
LET THERE BE..-O-
|

Thanks, Seamus!

And there was LIGHT!!!

I also stand for the Right to Volt...Lightbulb Suffrage NOW!!!You have nothing to lose but your cardboard wrappers...

*aside* I'm liking this page...shoulda started one sooner!

okay, okay, I'll go along with the Right to Volt...
...but what if they want to do it a 2nd time?
Should they have the Right to Re-Volt?

Illuminators of the world unite!

*rolls eyes* ........ you guys drink waaaaaaaay to much Guinness !!

It's the current way to self full-filament,

well, you boys have enlightened me, alright! You have confirmed my fears - no matter how much effort I put into bringing up my own three boys, they will always be .... just boys.

*un-bungs a new keg of Guinness* ... go for it, fellas!! *L*

All Praise, Honor, and Glory to Lacie, Fiery Queen of Western Australia
*casts a friendly smile and offers a *koth* to the un-bunger of the keg and the good mum*

Hmmm...unbunged Guinness...well I wouldn't be wanting to drink any that wasn't UNbunged, that's for sure...*holds up pint glass to the light, just in case...*

Listen, Seamus, if I am buying .. at least learn to spell, OK? *wishes for plain text*

oi, Celt, ya think I would serve bad Guinnes????? *shock, horror*

OK, sure .... my nails are too long and Guinness has two 's's' ..... happy Seamus?? *LOL @ lace*

I'm very happy, Lacie (and happy in plain text, too)! *g*

By the way, what do you think I spelled wrong? Eh? *bwg*

hmmm, wonders if Lace is going to "hang me" on the Americaaaaaan spelling of Honor....hmmm

okay, just for you: Honour (NOT in plain text)
*bwg*

or could it be the spelling of AUSTRIA (where Lacie lives)?

ohhh, I'm having FUN now!

I think that's "Westralia", Seamus, where Lacie lives...! *BDG*

alright, ENOUGH of these text shenanigans, McCool...yer making me eyes hurt!!!

Well, Celt, I ask myself..."Would the old monks have posted to this Message Board using plain text?"
Having seen portions of the Book of Kells on display in the US years ago (and having just acquired a beautiful Celtic print for my wife for St. Patrick's Day), my answer would be NO. ^*bwg*

Aye, but the monks of yore didn't use glaring neon pixels laddie...*g* Harmony, harmony, harmony....

Groans at Acc's full-filament pun....glad we're off the lightbulb subject...whew

glaring neon? nahhh! *L* Celt, methinks you should use some of the proceeds from the sale of your art to buy a new monitor...*g*

Here is are some questions for all to think on. Do lightbulbs think in color? Does ethnicity matter? Do blacklights have less rights?

Sorry Celt. But I'm curious and the lightbulb talk was fascinating.

rofl...blacklights have indeed lost some of their rights since the halcyon days of the 60s and 70s...heh heh

Another quote from my notebook for your edification and amazement:

''A credulous mind...finds most delight in believing strange things, and the stranger they are the easier they pass with him; but never regards those that are plain and feasible, for every man can believe such.''
-Samuel Butler, 'Characters'(1667-69)

Hmmm...seems nobody's stopping in here lately...whatsamatta, you don't like my quotes? *g*

Probably somebody blew a fuse on all the lightbulb jokes, Celt... ;)
Black light is ULTRA-violet! :) Used to have one of those black-light posters myself, though it was of the signs of the zodiac, each with a different sexual position associated with it...that poster almost got me laid one time, so I remember it with some fondness...

I don't feel as enlightened (or illuminated) anymore
now that you've restricted my use of creative fonts, Celt.
Ohhh, these shackles that bind me so. *g*

Hmmmmmmmm Cbleidd, methinks we would like to hear more of this...;)

Not much else to add, Celt...the girl in question saw my poster, said "Ooh, what's that?" as she placed my hands on her breasts, and shortly we were making out like bandits on my bed, but nothing more than that happened. I remember it fondly because she was also the girl who took my virginity at 19 (I was 19), but we hadn't seen each other for a couple of years...I wanted to do it with her, but she felt like she had to get to know me again, so it didn't happen. One of several almosts in my life...

whoa Cbleidd...that's more than I expected to hear...*G*...but thanks for sharing with the class! Now where did I put those old DayGlo posters of mine...? Hmmm...somehow I don't think me wife would appreciate 'em...LLL

DayGlo posters...oh, yeah, the staple of every college dorm-room, or at least of those belonging to young hippie-ish wastrels like me. :) And maybe a blue light bulb or two... (and I can count all the experiences I've had with illegal drugs in my life on one hand! Won't go into that in case there's any narcs about...)

*chuckling at Cbleidd's last post*
HEY! I'm in the mood for a few good limericks here!!! Now I realize that the only true ''good'' limerick is an absolutely filthy one, but since Acc may reserve the right to edit these, let's try to avoid ones that have to do with Nantucket.*G*
So how bout it folks? Know any good 'uns?
*PS: Seamus, your color ban is hereby lifted*

stick with the day glo posters, Cbleidd ... the rest is more info than we want to know ... *smile*

DAMN !!! I just broke a nail ../ hymen !! ..... waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay more info than you needed to know, Cbleidd?? LMAO


*holds out her wrist to be smacked*

*lightly schmacks Lacie's wrist, and throws in a schmack on the bum for good measure...*bwg*

*lightly schmacks Lacie's wrist, and throws in a schmack on the bum for good measure...*bwg*

oops...hiccups...sorry!

hiccups??? hiccups?? .. i thought you repeated the action cause it was such fun *grin*

*lurks*


he he

You know, Lacie, *my* little story only involved kissing and fondling...*you* brought up the broken hymen, not I. (Offers raised eyebrow and slanted grin) So indeed, 'tis not I offering TMI...hmmmmm? (Slaps Lacie's outstretched wrist with a small herring) And now...I want you to bring me...a SHRUBBERY! (dramatic music) If you don't, I will be forced to say "Ni!" to you repeatedly.

A good limerick? Hmmm...
A Mexican man named Cantu
Had limericks that stopped at line two.
Or better yet:
There was a young man from Verdun.
:) There are few really good clean limericks, but there is this one:
There was an old man with a beard,
Who said: "It is just as I feared!
Two larks and a wren,
Four jays and a hen
Have all built their nests in my beard."
After that, all the limericks I can think of are dirty to varying degrees...

*digs up the small grove of shrubs along her fenceline and presents the shrubbery to the offended one* Does that unknot ya knickers?

hmmm .. i think i shall rent that movie out for the weekend. Thanks for the thought Cbleidd.

''Ni!!! Fatang fatang!!!''
''Tis but a flesh wound.''
''A spanking!!! A spanking!!!''
''You must cut down the mightiest tree in the forest, WITH....a Herring!!!''
''Some call me....Tim...?''
''Look at the BONES!!!''
''Yes, let's not go to Camelot...tis such a silly place.''

wishes he knew at least one clean limerick...I do love Cbleidd's two line Mexican limerick...*LLL*

This is all getting too silly.

''The BBC would like to apologize for the constant use of silliness in this programme. Also to announce that the Midlands Bank has accepted our collateral of Lord North's watch, so we will be able to continue our broadcast throughout the week....Thank you and Goodnight.''

well, I did find one clean limerick, albeit a tease...

''A bather whose clothing was strewed
By winds that left him quite nude
Saw a girl come along
And unless we are wrong
You expected this line to be lewd.''

A Chicago artist named Celt
Whose skills made ladies' hearts melt
Til his love for the Guinness
Made them say "You won't win us
Until once again you are svelte."

*bwg*(big,wide grin)
....well, at least it's clean

"How do you know she's a witch?"
"She turned me into a NEWT!"
"A newt?"
"...Well...I got better..."
"Burn 'er anyway! Yeah! Yeah!"

Immanuel Kant was a real pissant who was very rarely stable, Heidegger, Heidegger was a boozy beggar who could think you under the table. David Hume could outconsume Wilhelm Friedrich Hegel, and Wittgenstein was a beery swine who was just as sloshed as Schlegel.
There's nothin' Nietzsche couldn't teach ya 'bout the raisin' of the wrist. Socrates himself was permanently pissed!
John Stuart Mill of his own free will on a half a pint of shanty was particularly ill. Plato, they say, could stick it away; half a pint of whiskey every day. Aristotle, Aristotle was a beggar for the bottle, Hobbes was fond of his dram, and Rene Descartes was a drunken fart: "I drink therefore I am!"
Yes, Socrates himself is particularly missed. A lovely little thinker, but a bugger when he's pissed.

An Australian lass named Lacie
Whose reputation was considered quite racy
Until the truth became known
It was all overblown
And that the racy Lacie was just spacey

Another fine lad named McCool
Who thought his poems quite a jewel
Until each maligned friend
Vowing that this shall now end
Cried out, "I PITY THE FOOL!!!"

With apologies to Mr T and the rest of the A-Team

There's a Philly Lad named McCool
Who, with Rhyme, it is hopeless to duel.
With brains, he's a "Rocky",
Whether tall short or stocky...
..sends the rest of us back to school.

(or at least to our rhyming dictionaries.)

An import to Frisco looked glum
Bewildered, said "My name is Jumm"
"This McCool freak is quick"
"With the catchy limerick"
"While mine seem really quite dumb"

Sorry, Jumm, you set me up *g*

The men who frequent the Tir
Have an unquenchable thirst for good beer
They are all lads very handsome,
Talented and strong like Samson.
And the Tir women suspect they're all queer.

DISCLAIMER: NO DEEP, DARK MEANING IS TO BE CONSTRUED IN THIS DEVIATION FROM MY NORMALLY WHOLESOME STYLE *g*

*taps her foot expectantly...*

From Memphis came young CanuBleidd,
Whose spirit could often seem blithe.
And though he liked to rock,
There were some it did shock,
At how C.B.'s short body did writhe.

(OK, so it's the best I could do at 1:35 am CDT, so sue me!)

"I make a good 'straight-man'" thinks Jumm,
to Seamus' limerickal fun.
With "Jumm" as a "nick"
Sure, another I need pick,
'Fore he beats "Jumm" again like a drum!

(sure, I must be a masochist! *G*)

In effort to be Keep up with McCool
Already proven not to be a fool
On the most hum drum of days
Tis fun to see what you all have to say

Bravo and well done

Before she comes to my state
And thwacks me for making her wait
This Christmas I shall get coal
If I've no limericks for Lost Soul
Perhaps I should leave home by air freight.

It's been rumoured that my good friend Cleo
Went to Carneval once down in Rio
As she writhed through the street
Swaying to the samba beat
She was measured on the Richter at 3-0.

"Cleo and 3-0".....haahaa...can't beat that, .....great Seamus!

Thanks, Jumm *G*

The good innkeeper Accasbel
Confided he did not feel so well
"We have much to fear"
"McCool's run amok in Tír"
"We should destroy his brand new Dell"

A certain Tir newbie named Seamus
writes limericks hoping he'll shame us
but his lyrics infamous
instead just inflame us
and cause a great pain in uranus
Heh-heh...

There once was a group of blokes,
who thought they was funny to folks.
But, if the truth be known
their time they were a'blown'
Is this the 'sowing of oates' for old blokes?

Well really, calling them 'old'
Just because they're all covered in mould.
This rampant ageism
Will cause such a schism
You're naughty! You are very bold!

:)

Someone please stop me......

There was a young Lass from Perth
Who didn't appreciate mirth
about frogs in the cellar
you could hear her beller
of loud croaking there is no dearth!

*S*

All right, Jumm. Stop. :)

A New Mexican girl named LostSoul
Saw her Tirry friends go on a roll
With their limericks and jokes
(What a lot of silly folks!)--
And she thwacked them all hard with a pole. :)

*runs for cover* *LOL*

Uranus? hmmmm......, Ohhhh!; I get it..*g*

My friends are all due apologies
I fear being strung up in some trees
I've caused quite a stir
Throughout all of Tír
I beg of you, oh spare me please!!!

I hope I didn't ruffle any feathers...just trying to get some limerick action going here

No prob Seamus...no offense taken :)...but I can't let this one go to waste...

A Philly gourmet calledMcCool
found a recipe he thought a jewel
But the cheese steaks he'd grill
made his dinner guests ill
for he'd substitute horsemeat or mule
nyuk nyuk

and though I may get thwacked for it, couldn't resist writing a couple for Lacie...(apologies in advance)...
An Australian lady named Lace
demonstrated the height of good taste
by taking no chances
and rebuffing advances
from suitors too obviously chaste.

Said this fiery-haired vixen, ''I say!
All you Black Bush quaffers, stay away!
Only men who drink Guinness
can stay strong to the finish
But it seems they're all married, or gay.''

And whilst I'm at it, we can't forget Lost Soul...

LostSoul wailed to her comrades at Tir
''Are there no good men left to find here?
All the ones worth a look
I find only in books
And the rest are all losing their hair!''

Heh-heh.
(Lost Soul, oh Lost Soul, where can ye be?
Come join us this evening, we've been missing ye!)

ahh, Celt, you humble me....

...appears that the Chicago wit has outdone the Philadelphia charm in the limerick arena

Another round of Guinness in honor of the artist and limerick champion of Tír!!

Do you realize that this we've created what is very likely the world's largest collection of "clean" limericks? *g*

Bows to the high compliments
and accepts a pint from Seamus,
no slouch himself in the Limerick Dept.
Yes you're probably right about
the clean collection...
but being personalized, who'd want to steal em?
for that matter, being CLEAN, who'd want em? LOL

Bush or Guinness,
who cares in the finish?
As long as the distance is run
we all get to have fun!
and Acc makes money left, right and center!!

(say the last line with a broad Aussie accent - it rhymes then! *grin* I even spelled it your way *L*)

Married, Gay or Chaste
*lacie pulls a face*
'Tis handsome and strong
and wearing a thong
that makes this lass' heart go "bong"

Me naughty and bold?
oh! Acc who told??
I am offended sorely
you think I would behave so poorly
and feel vanquished for ever ... morely.

(sorry .. Friday aftenoon here.)

There IS an old lass from Perth
who enjoys all the frivolity and mirth.
'Tis the frogs she can't stand!
They've started and band!
or are holding a reunion in the sand.

(hmmmmmmmm .. reunions in the sand ... maybe I will rethink my opinion of the frogs.)

*sits in her little corner, and waits for her friends in the tir to call her up and do a limerick for her* *smiles*

Little Sarette,
sits in her corner,
trying her womanly ways.
If she's not careful,
down will sit 'her prince disguised as a frog'
and that will be the end of the innocent days.

lol! that was great! but it sorta sounds like something from the 1800's! i like it though..thanks lacie

There once was a lass named Sarette
Don't know much about her as yet.
Her interest in weather
sure it makes for good blether'
and Wright bros. let us not forget!

A regular by name LadyQ3
Gets her kicks sculpting shapes from an Oak (birch?) tree.
Not one to be wasteful
Packs debris in bags tasteful
And hawks them as "Dust de Faerie"!

:)

Of Celt you all certainly know
His illuminations veritably glow.
But what is that brown blot?
Just below the "gael knot"
Spilled his pint o'er the painting ,"Oh No!"

:)

In Erin they say my name is "Seamus"
In Scotland the name it is "Hamish"
I picked the name "Jumm"
Not me dear old Mum
That must qualify me as ignoramous!

There is a fella called Jumm
who's always quick with a pun.
About what name to use
he seems confused
so I think we should call him Jumm Jumm.

I have to admit that my contribution did not conform to the true Limerick rules. (I probably have some excuse, but it escapes me now)

To those who have sweated over the difficulties of shoe-horning wit into the strict constraints of the style ...
I take my hat off !

Beir Bua people !!!
(You know who you are. Keep it up)
You have captured true Irish literacy and demonstrated it.

There are limerick rules???

Time for Illumination and True Enlightenment regarding the rules of limerick writing!

OK... here goes...(Acc, if I err, please correct me):

First two lines should have 9 syllables
Third and fourth lines should have 6
Fifth line should have 9 again.
The words chosen for each line should flow smoothly; ie, you shouldn't have to speak a word out of its normal syllabic rhythm. Also, the lines should build up comedic tension, which is then relieved by the wallop of a great (usually filthy) punchline at the end.

These rules are not always followed...sometimes the 9-syllable lines are given 10 instead...but the third and fourth almost always have six syllables.

Am I right, then, Acc?

PS to Jumm...bravo on the ''brown blot'' limerick...heh heh.

While reading a couple of Jumm's limericks, I realized that the 9 syllable rule can also be shortened to 8, but this is sort of a truncated limerick, and not as common as the 9-syllable ones. Well done folks, let's keep em coming...and I think we could get a BIT racier...lol

Aw jaysus, now I just went back and re-read my own Lacie limerick, in which the third and fourth lines have seven syllables rather than six..LLL...okay, I guess there are no hard and fast rules, other than that which I have divulged in my previous utterance...
NOBODY expects the Limerick Inquisition!!!

And of course, the obvious rule that the first, second, and last lines should rhyme with each other, and the third and fourth lines should rhyme as a couplet(though occasionally all the lines rhyme with each other, as in my Seamus/uranus limerick).
Ok, are you confused yet, Lacie?) LLL ...I know I am.

Frank McCourt's life was somewhat Homeric
Writ with prose that was really mesmeric
And if Celt will allow
I'll continue to plow
Through all the rhymes of Frank's hometown, Limerick!

*I know I'm stretchin' it here

that's a lotta rules for a few lines of fun.

ah, but when the rules are followed, it's SO sublime...even when filthy...lol

so....the Limerick Inquisition begins
I wondered when we would finally arrive here *G*

now...I'm a bit confused....I was striving for an ideal of an 8 syllable/5 syllable combination rather than the 9/6 combo mentioned by Celt

sort of like the difference between saying "youse" and "youse guys" *L*

and as for comedic tension, I can feel it when youse guys are responding to my limericks *g*

Here's a couple for our gracious Innkeeper...

Our illustrious host Accasbel
screamed one day at his guests,''Go to hell!''
''You all squat here and dwell
and your fights I must quell
while you pay no rent to my hotel!''

And Acc shook both his fists in the air
and he said,''Tis no more I can bear!
So I'm leaving for France
where the girls now wear pants
since they're fashionably 'savoir faire'.

Okay, here's my revised limerick for Cleo...following Celt's rules precisely....compare it to the original above

It's been rumoured my good friend Cleo
Went to Carneval once in Rio
As she writhed down the street
To the loud samba beat
She rocked the scale Richter at 3-0.

9 - 9 - 6 - 6 - 9 syllables while rhyming lines 1,2 and 5...lines 3 and 4 rhymed as a couplet

so,do I pass, Celt? *g*

There once was a first time user
Who hopes the regs won’t abuse her
She read all the rules
Can’t figure the tools
But promises to practise to amuse yer

ok... how was that???... and hi from lacie's garage....

hmmm... not that lacie's garage can talk (for all you smart as...people)... hi from jules who LIVES in lacie's garage...*LOL*

Howdy Jules, jump right in, shame hasn't stopped us yet.....

A newbie who lives in a garage,
An odd place to set up a menage´
Sleeping next to a car
Even Lacie's Jaguar
A sorry state no persiflage.

*unless it's the only place to get away from froggy chat:)

The garage is no persiflage
Luckily there are no cars
Station for play
Nintendo all day
And damn you should hear the guitars !!!!

Thanks for the welcome Jumm... luckily the frogs don't bother me in the garage...*LOL*... though I think at this point even lacie is considering moving in there to get away from the noise !!.... I might have to fight her for the space.... might also have to start wearing a nightcap to make sure I keep my hair after McGuire's post...*LOL*... oh yeah... great page Celt!!... lotta laughs!!

Thanks Jules:o)any friend o'Lacie's is a friend o' mine, even if they do reside next to Lacie's Jaguar LOL
well Seamus, I'd say you(se) passed with flying colors!
I'm glad to see that the somewhat complicated limerick rules are generally being followed! Acc will be proud to see the high standards being held! LLL\purple {but I still think we could get a BIT more racy...heh heh.}

By the way, Seamus, I wish you'd let me in on the secret for separating color and italic and size commands...all I can do is change colors! Damn beseen protocol! LLL

it seems that Lacie has started up a new board for me Part 2 , so future postings will be made down yonder below...slan, see ye there!:)