the loading takes soooooooooooo long!!

So continues Celt's Illumination and True Enlightenment Corner ... and these are the days of our limericks

Jules said ....

POST5441By Jules on Saturday, May 6, 2000 - 07:37 am:
There once was a first time user
Who hopes the regs won’t abuse her
She read all the rules
Can’t figure the tools
But promises to practise to amuse yer

ok... how was that???... and hi from lacie's garage....

then Jules said some more ..

By Jules on Saturday, May 6, 2000 - 07:40 am:
hmmm... not that lacie's garage can talk (for all you smart as...people)... hi from jules who LIVES in lacie's garage...*LOL*

then Jumm had THIS to say ..

POST5445By Jumm on Saturday, May 6, 2000 - 09:08 am:
Howdy Jules, jump right in, shame hasn't stopped us yet.....

A newbie who lives in a garage,
An odd place to set up a menage´
Sleeping next to a car
Even Lacie's Jaguar
A sorry state no persiflage.

*unless it's the only place to get away from froggy chat:)

and then Jules said ...


By Jules on Saturday, May 6, 2000 - 09:40 am:
The garage is no persiflage
Luckily there are no cars
Station for play
Nintendo all day
And damn you should hear the guitars !!!!

Thanks for the welcome Jumm... luckily the frogs don't bother me in the garage...*LOL*... though I think at this point even lacie is considering moving in there to get away from the noise !!.... I might have to fight her for the space.... might also have to start wearing a nightcap to make sure I keep my hair after McGuire's post...*LOL*... oh yeah... great page Celt!!... lotta laughs!!

Some frogs that appeared down in Perth
Caused plenty of havoc, not mirth
The humans hung out some hair
But the frogs didn't care
Cause they're really aliens, not of earth

Welcomes the Aliens to Earth
on behalf of the fellows of Tir ..th.
"You don't need to speak English,
cause we all translate to 'mericaaaaaaanish".
So I am sure we can cope with your mirth.

fook the rules *s*

Have another round on me lacie *LMAO*

From the land where most men are named "Bruce"
Oor young Lacie was heard to let loose...
"Why cahn't yew speak 'strine
At least hawlf of the toime,
Then you won't have to hear my abuse!"

*Heehee, ole Jumm Jumm better vamoose.....

hey Lacie...so just WHEN were ye gonna tell me that you had started a new board for me? LLL
I've been posting to the old one, and never bothered to scroll down here to the bottom! jaysus!

sorry Celt *hangs head* ... was just a frustration thaaaaaaaang, waiting for everything to load. *batts eyelashes* do ya forgive me? *sweetest smile*

*wanders in, reads ALL the postings, shakes her head and cracks up, ...and wanders back out, not to be seen again for quite awhile (3 jobs a-beckon...*sigh*)...*Hollers back from the mist*...I MISS YA ALL!!!!!!!!!

Okay, Celt, a quick formatting lesson. I was struggling myself with this until Acc gave me a clue, "nesting" (something Acc did when he & Mrs Acc decided to have little Accs *G*)

(Note: I will use parentheses instead of the correct brackets in order to demonstrate this...just substitute brackets " { " ..or the reverse bracket instead of parentheses

to do a phrase in yellow and italics:
\yellow(\i(Yellow and Italics))
you will get this: Yellow and Italics

to get a little fancier, let's try this very large, bold, italics, blue, and with the comic sans ms font:

\2(\b(\i(\blue(\font(comic sans ms, Celt is a big bo-bo)))))
we would get: Celt is a big bo-bo

Just remember to "close" each bracketed section with a corresponding bracket at the end. I'll bet you wished you didn't flunk algebra now, do you? *G*

There are other tricks...like a nested section within another nested section...but that's the advanced course...and it'll cost you for that one *s*

Oh heck, I'll show you one anyway...gratis

to do your name in 4 different colors in the Arial Black font, bold, and extra large:

\2(\b(\font(arial black,\yellow(C)\blue(E)\white(L)\red(T))))
CELT

Do ye desire to Limerick?
With Irish wit ye must be so quick,
Never reason nor rhyme,
An Irishman's mind,
Trying to figure how Irish tick!

(Nice nesting Seamusmccool! I always did admire colourful, bold characters. And what is a big bo-bo?) :)

Thanks for the lesson, Seamus...I'll have to practice this a bit more... The formatting page made my mind go instantly blank...yep, I hated algebra...LLL
As far as the bo-bo goes, just remember McCool that I have one limerick for you left in reserve...the veritable H-bomb of limericks, which would probably get me banned...LOLso in the immortal words of Elvis Costello...''don't get cute''LLL

Bravo to Jumm for his ''Bruce'' limerick... ROFL

This 'un just sprung up in my head, messy place that it is... :)

If you ever are down in Australia,
Desert heat, it will only assail ya,
If you're in the Outback
Riding in a halftrack--
Relief a pint of Foster's will avail ya.

(A tip o' the hat to our Australian friends, though this is certainly not my best work.)

Cbleidd....maybe we should introduce you to sonnets *L*

JUMM!!! Your 'strine limerick is a gem. I agree with Celt
You'll have to translate it for those of us who live in The Land Up Over *g*

Seamus!!!I'm still waiting for a response from Lacie, whilst hiding behind a big Eucalyptus Tree....it's awfully quiet out there......peeking my head out around the trunk.....

Jumm? .. waiting for my response on what? (apart from Cbleidd's *poetic licence* interpretation of the Land of Aus. *L*)

The Land Up Over???? .. *shakes head* .. clutching at straws, aren't you, Seamus? *smile*

Sonnets? Hmm..."Shall I compare thee to a summer's day? Thou art more lovely, and more temp'rate..." Actually, McCool, I need haikus:

Memphis, Tennessee--
Home of Elvis and the blues;
what a claim to fame.

Again, it just popped up in my head, which is a messy place indeed.

Actually, Lace, I think Canada is the Land Up Over. Beauty, eh? :)

Limeri*Q*
Parte the Firste:

There once was a Tirnan named Jumm
Of Q3's *faerie dust* didst make fun
O K - now she's ticked
Her revenge she has picked
She's off to Nantucket, by gumm...................


(with apologies to Ogden Nash)
to be continued

Ladyq3, I kept a little pocketful of that fairy dust you asQed me to pass on.....

Limeri*Q*

Parte the Seconde

A message for Jumm from Nantucket
Past Canada Customs I snuck it
From some wee folk I met
Their clothes yellow and wet
They implore - next time Jumm use a bucket........

Very Good Ladyq3.........
I promise to be more careful in future when answering "the qall" of nature while at work in the garden....Would have liked to answer in Limerick, but find I'm poetiqally impaired....could it be pay back time from the wee folk? Oh God did I just say "wee" folk? I'm out of here before I dig myself in deeper.....LOL

*ROFLMAO* allright, enough of this here pee-party!

still stuck with just colors, I see Celt....
that's the last formatting lesson I give to anybody from Chicago *g*

Well, Jumm Jumm, I do believe they say it's better to be pissed *off* than pissed *on*, eh? :) On the other hand, in Brit slang, if you're pissed, anger doesn't enter into it, so...
Let's all sing that old jukebox classic, "Yellow River" by I.P. Freely...

LIMERI*Q*
Stay tuned for Parte the Thoid
Alas, I must retire from the Tir for a couple of weeks
1 humongus craft show Vic. Day Weekend
I'm up to my Canadian Bacon in sawdust
Like the butcher who backed into the meat slicer....................
I've gotten a little behind in my orders
With both Victoria Day in CA and Memorial Day USA
Have a blast, party on, but above all keep yourselves safe and well

Have a good time Ladyq3, hope you sell out of stoQ.....see you later!

*like the Joisey accent....."Thoid"

ah, a week has passed and not a single limerick to be seen...perhaps the steam has run out for now... well thanks to evryone for their contributions of genuine Irish wit! :-)

Okay, okay! You twisted me ear off, Celt. In honour of the lovely ReallyLostSoul from guestghost:

I know an old maid who got laid...
Off the job she did best and got paid...
She rubbed and she polished...
Off bars and abolished...
The need for all services maid.

*ducking rotten poematomatoes*

YOU SAID THEY HAD TO BE CLEAN LIMERICKS! (Just a bit o'Irish twit here. LOL!)

How sweet! A limerick in my honor....hey wait just a minute!!! *re-reads the limerick and tries to decide if she should toss the tomatoes or not.......hmm...*

*wanders out to think about it for a minute or two.....runs back in....* OLD MAID???? OLD???????? Just WHO are you calling OLD????? *arches eyebrow and mans the tomatoe gun* C'mon out you! I'm ready!

Now, LS, remember: It's got to be a CONTROLLED burn! (ducking and running from being thwacked) Or was that a PRESCRIBED burn? Hmmm...all I know is I'd better run so *I* don't get burned!

ok-this is making me pull my hair out! how do ya'll get those colors and letters like that?
e-mail me at spring_flower14@hotmail.com for the answer or put it on here please!!!!!!!!!

Sarette....look at one of the earlier postings here (May 8, 2000, 5:44am).
I was giving Celt a lesson on the tricks of the trade.

a trick which I still have been too lazy to try more than than once...LLL Ah well, at least I have the colors...HEY! Is someone besmirching the name of me pal LostSoul?(hands LS the 44-tomato sideloading ThwackAmatic)

She's b-a-a-a-a-*Q*

Shades of Bloody Mary, Celt! Not even coming close to that 44-tomato sideloading ThwackAmatic, pal! *Perspiration beading* And if I besmooching your pal LostSoul, it was only a little affectionate puppy lick on the hand as we only met once. I don't do the one-nighters. More into one-liners, or should we try a five-liner as long as we are doing clean limericks? And where is the Guinness on such an occasion? I thought you were trying to book the Guinness record guys? The ladies love a duel so how about it? Not one of my latent talents but I used to start a limerick in another chatroom and the ladies would each take a line. Fine way to chat and get to know the ladies. Perhaps you would like the challenge of the last line? You could get the last word in that way.
A SAILING BOAT WITHOUT A RUDDER,
IS LIKE A COW WITHOUT AN UDDER,
THE BOAT, HOW CAN YOU STEER?
THE COW, A REAL BUM STEER,
____________________________?

(The guestghost claims no talent, only unriotous living and upbringing) ReallyLostSoul, pleased again to meet you!

Limeri*Q* - Parte the Thoide (and - blessedly - the last - FOR JUMM - SEAMUS - YOUR TOINS COMING):

Q3'S FAERIE DUST WAS PURLOINED
THE NAME OF THE PERP SHE HAS LOINED
IF IT HELPED WITH THOSE ROSES
THE LADY SUPPOSES
BY GUMM JUMM - A PARDON YOU'VE OINED

Love the Joisey/BrooQlyn accent, Ladyq3, also glad for the pardon! *LOL*

Just a note to all my friends at Tir...

My father Joseph passed away today from cancer after a short illness. He was a grand old man; a father, husband and teacher of great reknown, and our pillar of strength and the sparkle in our eye.
He will always be loved, and he will always be missed. Please keep him in your prayers tonight.
PS...And thanks to all of you who have been so supportive when I needed a friendly shoulder these past few months...I do appreciate it.

-Celt

You have my deepest sympathy, Celt.

Celt...my prayers are with him, and with you.

He must have been a great man...he has a great son.

Celt:

Please accept my condolences.
Perhaps he and my dad are watching us and sharing
a pint or two.


May God hold him gently in the palm of his hand....

Celt my Deepest Heartful Condolence on the passing
of your Father, You and your Family are in my Prayers

Ar dheis Dé go raibh a anam

To Celt, and Celt's dear departed father:
Bydd i ti ddychwelyd.

Into the West...

Thanks to all of you for your kind words and condolences...such great people we have around here! I do appreciate it...thank you again.

and now back to the fun...what, no more limericks?

*extends a warm invitation to Celt to visit my new Board of Frivolities*

*hollers* Celt!!!!!!!! *awaits for a voice to answer in the mist........sighs deeply* Ah well. I finally wrestled the phone from the rugrat for the night, and noone is about! *pouting* I seem to keep missing you, and wanted to see how you were doing....Email me, ok? Or I'll try to win the battle tomorrow eve and reappear in the inn. =) Laters!

I know how ya feel, 'soul ... i am finally baaaack, and there is no one around *sigh* ...

*leaves a warm and loving hug for Celt*

I, too, have been MIA for a while, but I'm back. Busy working and loving...have a dear young lady in Middle Tennessee with whom I am rapidly developing a very intimate relationship.
So Celt, here's a limerick for you, though not terribly clean:

In the Garden of Eden sat Adam,
Complacently stroking his madam.
And he thought with some mirth
That, in all of the earth,
There were only two balls, and he had 'em! >:)

Ay-yi-yi-yi, in China they never eat chili...

roars in approval....ROFL Cbleidd
*PS...glad to see you're back Lacie!

Thanks, Celt .... nice to be back, I think *L*

Cbleidd - an inspired piece!! or inspirational, maybe !! *grin*

Since this IS called Celt's Illumination & True Enlightenment Corner, thought I'd share my latest discovery, thereby enlightening you and covering both things at once ;o)
Trinity College Dublin has released a complete CD-ROM of the facsimile edition of The Book of Kells!!!
It includes all 320 pages and has a special search/zoom feature to examine the details. Cost is $25 for standard edition, and is available from Trinity College's BoK site:www.bookofkells.ie/index.html
I've already ordered a copy, I'll post a review as soon as I get it! Slan, all!

Well the folks at Trinity College Dublin were lightning fast...ordered on Wed, got it on Saturday! (Even though their site says allow two weeks!)
This CD ROM is amazing...has mini-movies, pages of details assorted by subject, a zoom feature on about half of the major decorated pages...15 zoom pages in all. The clarity is very good, though one wishes there were more than one level of zoom magnification...I would have loved to get a real closeup of some of the pages like the Chi Rho or Eight Circle Cross.
But, that's nitpicking...this CD is awesome, folks. Really a superb overall view of the entire book, narrated by Irish voiceovers...and no cheesy music, either! ;)
Bottom line, for (US)$25 bucks, how can you go wrong??? Rating:*****

sounds like a great buy, Celt! .. hmmmm I wonder, though, if most of us would understand the Irish voiceovers *ducks for cover*

*thwack* Ok, ok, I should have said an Irish brogue...LLL Either way it's very pleasant to hear...

*crosses arms, taps foot, and fixes Celt with ~The Look~*

Ahem, mister! I don't recall handing out "One Free Thwack" passes! Don't be crossing over into my territory or you'll be sorry!

*walks out grumbling...everyone thinks they've got thwacking capabilities....art form...years to learn...grumble, grumble.....*

ahhhhh, an art form she says?

*rolls out into the center of the Inn the newly perfected
Seamus/Celt ThwackoMatic Machine™®*

a finger in every pie, huh, seamus?

Oh tsuper! Juth what we needed for the bar.

Thweam Thwackers and theese!

Oh jaysus, willya look at that...he's put my name on the damned thing! Just a disclaimer that I am not now, nor have ever been, the co-inventor of this dastardly device... LOL

*glares at Celt suspiciously*

Are you sure about that????? *winds up for a really good thwack if she sees a glimmer of guilt in his eyes*

This is troubling!! The penalties for falsely naming someone as a co-inventor could be severe!!!

hmmmm, nothing in U.S. Civil Code

.....nothing in Brehon Law......

here it is, in the Indiana Civil Code:

Is this where I buy the Knick-knacks and paddy thwacks for my Irish-clone Hearth? I seem to be having a lot of unexpected online visitors frying...er, uh, flying Inn as there is a special on LostSoul Broom rates and they got wind of the spare broom...I mean, room at my Hearth and I wanted to make them feel a bit more comfortable with the lovely Potato Accents in my home. *Giggling*

The LostSoul special includes one night in the Accasbel Atrium complete with queen size bed and guaranteed comfortable sleepin with as few online spiders as possible and continual interruption from Tater Tots!

The breakfast menu is "All you can eat Spudz du Joy aka French Fries dipped in French Fry Sauce" that seems to only be found in Idaho? There is no potato famine here!

For entertainment purposes only we specialize in 'Offenses Against Public Sensibility' and offer free butter for slathering...on the potato of your choice! All this to soothe LostSoul and restore her Lost Art and dignity as the official Thwacker-TIR! ~Mrs. PP~

OFFENSES AGAINST PUBLIC SENSIBILITY,LTD. is hereby declared open for business!
HOUSE RULES:
1. Sensible shoes must be checked at the door.
2. Rational, non-emotional arguments are strictly prohibited.
3. Please do operate heavy machinery. (You'll find it behind the bar, next to the Month-Old Egg Catapult. Come to think of it, that counts as well.)
4. The use of ketchup (or catsup, if you prefer) on hotdogs to be consumed on the premises is also strictly prohibited. No cheese steaks of any kind will be tolerated, with or without ketchup.
5. Running with scissors will be restricted to the children's recreational area, located out back
6. Occupancy of the premises by more than 800 people is vigorously encouraged.
;)

Okay...what about the beans stuffed up the nose and Q-tips sticking out the ears? Cheese, Celt! What kinda steaks are you setting up here? *Driving in semi-truck load of potatoes to splud, splud in the friendly heavy machinery competition* You ever smell a rotten potato? Reeks...we need to see if the splud,splud wins out over the month-old egg catapult. If we get rid of the stench here you might attract a larger occupancy. *non-emotional arguing with self* Ketchup with you later if only I can find some sensible shoes to run in! *Hugz!* ~Mrs. PP~

Celt...Celt...Celt

I'm going to have to catch one of Midway's flights to Chicago to assist you with this formatting thing.

I wonder how much ketchup/catsup I can put in my carry-on? *LOL*

Doesn't matter...Chicago airport security have standing orders to confiscate all ketchup/catsup products at the gate.
Psst...wanna know whay I haven't bothered with the advanced formatting?
A:Cause I really don't give a...
LLL...how about those apples, Scarecrow?
Mwahahahahahahahaha*WEG*

am here Rolan

best to save reading this when you have more time

Rolan .. best not to 'save' this reading for anytime *L* ... unless you are 'in it' it means naught at all.

the 'boards' are In Context stuff .... join it at any time .. but never .. never .. try to fathom the past .. *L* ... hmmmm .. a bit like life??

Where do I park the Chicken Canon?

Oy yeah - DUH - forgot that it got hoist by it's
own poultrard.

Back to the drawing board,eh?

Gawd! That was fowl

a vile canard

a pawltry pun *ducks*

*shovels up the chicken poop for the garden beds* .. it's springtime here now, and the gardens love it!! keep it comin' !!

a bit *poulet fussy* Innkeeper (Sir) ?

now now, let's not squab-ble...heh heh

*PIDGEON* English

*Coo*l

Y'all's just a bunch of TURKEYS! Wild turkeys! (Hmm...Wild Turkey...Wild Turkey...a shot of Wild Turkey on the rocks, with a twist of lime? Hmm...mmmmm...:) Now there's an idea...) (Or maybe a mallard fizz with a twist of lemming? Hmmm...) >:)

*Chick's* in to take a *gander* at what's happenin'
A mallard fizz with a twist of lemming?
How *gull*ible do ya think we are?
Everyone knows you can't put lemmings in a Mallard Fizz - they keep jumping over the edge of the glass.

I think LadyQ3 has been "puffin" on something....a bit "loony" she seems

(sorry, didn't mean to defame your Canadian coins...also thanks to Yoda for teaching me English sentence construction)

*EGGS*actly right Sir!!!! I have been "puffin"

BUT

I DIDN'T INHALE!!!!!!!!!!!

NARF!!!

Budgie whiz, guys, chooks like the ozzie olympics are ready to start.

hey yeah *s*!! Budgies, chooks, lizards t'boot!!

Great Opening, huh? ... not often an aussie would compliment a whole production ... *dips me lid*

from Monty Python:
Mrs.Pepperpot#1:"Aye, what're you doing?"
Mrs.Pepperpot#2:"Ah, I'm puttin' down me budgie."
Mrs.P#1:"Why, what for?"
Mrs.P#2:"Well, we were going away for a fortnight on holiday and I thought I'd better put it down, just to be sure...''

to be sure .. to be sure ...

Addressing Celt with air of Olde Bridgekeeper:
What is the air-speed velocity of an unladen swallow? (And in this case, I mean African...)

are you familiar with my favourite Python album? `Monty Python's Contractual Obligation Album' There are some gems there ..... *grin*

Sadly, 'Traffic Lights' is probably the only one that could be posted here!! *L*

this is good, though .............

*** The Bookshop Sketch - from Monty Python at the Hollywood Bowl ***
*** Transcribed from memory by Bret Shefter , who was in ***
*** a weird mood (as usual) on 3/25/86. Revisions by mmd 4/3/86 ***


Customer: (entering the bookshop) Good morning.
Proprietor: Good morning, sir. Can I help you?
C: Er, yes. Do you have a copy of "Thirty Days in the Samarkind Desert
with the Duchess of Kent" by A. E. J. Eliott, O.B.E.?
P: Ah, well, I don't know the book, sir...
C: Er, never mind, never mind. How about "A Hundred and One Ways to
Start a Fight"?
P: ...By?
C: An Irish gentleman whose name eludes me for the moment.
P: Ah, no, well we haven't got it in stock, sir....
C: Oh, well, not to worry, not to worry. Can you help me with "David
Coperfield"?
P: Ah, yes, Dickens.
C: No....
P: (pause) I beg your pardon?
C: No, Edmund Wells.
P: I... *think* you'll find Charles Dickens wrote "David Copperfield",
sir....
C: No, no, Dickens wrote "David Copperfield" with *two* Ps. This is
"David Coperfield" with *one* P by Edmund Wells.
P: "David Coperfield" with one P?
C: Yes, I should have said.
P: Yes, well in that case we don't have it.
C: (peering over counter) Funny, you've got a lot of books here....
P: (slightly perturbed) Yes, we do, but we don't have "David Coperfield"
with one P by Edmund Wells.
C: Pity, it's more thorough than the Dickens.
P: More THOROUGH?!?
C: Yes...I wonder if it might be worth a look through all your "David
Copperfield"s...
P: No, sir, all our "David Copperfield"s have two P's.
C: Are you quite sure?
P: Quite.
C: Not worth just looking?
P: Definitely not.
C: Oh... how 'bout "Grate Expectations"?
P: Yes, well we have that....
C: That's "G-R-A-T-E Expectations," also by Edmund Wells.
P: (pause) Yes, well in that case we don't have it. We don't have
anything by Edmund Wells, actually: he's not very popular.
C: Not "Knickerless Knickleby"? That's K-N-I-C-K-E-R-L-E-S-S.
P: (taciturn) No.
C: "Khristmas Karol" with a K?
P: (really quite perturbed) No....
C: Er, how about "A Sale of Two Titties"?
P: DEFINITELY NOT.
C: (moving towards door) Sorry to trouble you....
P: Not at all....
C: Good morning.
P: Good morning.
C: (turning around) Oh!
P: (deep breath) Yesss?
C: I wonder if you might have a copy of "Rarnaby Budge"?
P: No, as I say, we're right out of Edmund Wells!
C: No, not Edmund Wells - Charles Dikkens.
P: (pause - eagerly) Charles Dickens??
C: Yes.
P: (excitedly) You mean "Barnaby Rudge"!
C: No, "Rarnaby Budge" by Charles Dikkens. That's Dikkens with two Ks,
the well-known Dutch author.
P: (slight pause) No, well we don't have "Rarnaby Budge" by Charles
Dikkens with two Ks, the well-known Dutch author, and perhaps to save
time I should add that we don't have "Karnaby Fudge" by Darles
Chickens, or "Farmer of Sludge" by Marles Pickens, or even "Stickwick
Stapers" by Farles Wickens with four M's and a silent Q!!!!!
Why don't you try W. H. Smith's?
C: Ah did, They sent me here.
P: DID they.
C: Oh, I wonder...
P: Oh, do go on, please.
C: Yes...I wonder if you might have "The Amazing Adventures of Captain
Gladys Stoutpamphlet and her Intrepid Spaniel Stig Amongst the Giant
Pygmies of Beckles"...volume eight.
P: (after a pause for recovery) No, we don't have that...funny, we've got
a lot of books here...well, I musn't keep you standing here...thank you,
C: Oh, well do, do you have--

'lacie's note: reminds me of a lot of conversations in Tir!!'

Sybil: ''He's dead, Basil...''
Basil: ''Oh, great! One down, nineteen to go...''

*roflmao...with tears running down my face*

what??? soul?? *wipes 'soul's tears* 'cause there are nineteen to go?? jaysus, there has been nineteen to go for years, and years and fookin' years!!

Ah...Python, Python, Monty Python...

"'Ow can ye tell 'ee's a king?"
"He hasn't got sh!t all over 'im."

"Mate, this parrot wouldn't voom if you put four million volts through 'im. 'Ee's bleedin' de-MISED! ...'Ee's not pining, 'ee's passed on! This parrot is no more! 'Ee 'as ceased to be! 'Ee's expired and gone to meet 'is maker! 'Ee's a stiff! Bereft of life, he rests in peace, if you hadn't nailed 'im to the perch, he'd be pushin' up the daisies. He's curled up his tootsies, he's shuffled off this mortal coil, he's run down the curtain and joined the bleedin' choir invisible! 'Ee's f*cking SNUFFED IT! All statements to the effect that this parrot is still a going concern are hereafter inoperative! THIS...IS AN EX-PARROT!!"
"Ha ha ha ha...well, I'd better replace 'im then!"

Sneaks in a non-Python ditty...

''Come gather Tir people wherever ye roam,
We'll pour ye a Guinness and shave off the foam,
and call you a taxi to help get ye home,
for at 2 AM, you'll be leaving...''

it was...The salmon mousse.

And now...how to tell apart different kinds of trees from a distance. (First slide clicks in) Number One: The larch. The LARCH. The...Larch. And now...Number Two: The...Spanish...Inquisition. (Wait a minute...I didn't expect the Spanish Inquisition...?)
BOOM!!! NOO-body expects the Spanish Inquisition! Our chief weapon is surprise, surprise and fear, fear and surprise...Our TWO chief weapons...are fear...surprise...and a ruthless efficiency. Argh! Our THREE...chief weapons...are fear, surprise, a ruthless efficiency, and an almost fanatical dedication to the Pope...argh!...This is not working...

No!!!! Not the comfy chair!!!!

Now the guests will enter by this door here, and be carried forward on the moving walkway, through the rotating knives... Mind you, this is a real beaut. None of your caked flesh flying out of the windows and incapacitating the passers-by here.
Yes, well, we did want a block of flats, not an abattoir.
(sigh) Well, that's the kind of blinkered, Philistine pig-ignorance I've come to expect from you non-creative garbage, sitting there on your loathsome spotty behinds, picking blackheads and not caring a tinker's cuss for the starving artist, you excrement! You whining, hypocritical toadies with your colour TVs and your Tony Jacklin golf clubs and your bleeding secret Masonic handshakes, you wouldn't let ME join, would you, you blackballing bastards?! Well, I wouldn't join you now if you got down on your filthy stinking knees and BEGGED me!!!
(An excerpt from the Architects sketch)

I nearly got in at Bolton...

Excuse me, that should be Notlob.

(aside to the blokes) 'HOT OFF THE PRESS' they are ready to go into production of a new Black Adder series!! *hopes the 'mericaaaaaans know what I am talking about LOL*

Really??? With the same cast of characters....?

BTW we have telly too you know, Lacie...*LOL*

Of course you do, Jumm .. you invented it! (not sure if that is a positive or a negative *L*) I just didn't know if your selection of English Comedy included BA. *apologises for any offence*

LOVES BLACKADDER!!!!!!!!!!!!!

No offense taken Lacie.... *wondering* if Vice President Al Gore* invented T.V. too? *LOL* Looking forward to the arrival of Black Adder.....One British or Irish comedy that hasn't made it over here, is called "Father Ted". I'd love to have seen that one, after hearing a few audio samples from the show.


*(some people here in the states claim that he stated that he invented the internet!)

while never much of a Blackadder fan, I did love Mr. Bean....very Chaplinesque

ahhh but Celt .. the original BA .. that is CLASSIC!! I can only hope the new series wanders back in that direction.

Mr Bean ... now there is a victim waiting for a criminal *L* ...

All I can say is Rowan Atkinson (hoping she spelled that right) is bordering on genius....I love B.A......especially the early stuff....but it's all great...and Mr Bean rocks as well....though the movie I have to say pretty much bombed in my opinion...but hey...noone wants to hear my opinion ....do they *S*

sure we do, mona !! .. i agree totally ... the Bean movies left much to be desired ...

Okay then...here is my opinion: Blah Blah Blah Blah......no really...love the portrayal of Queenie in B.A....everyone who's been on that show deserves to be in the comedy hall o' fame...especially Baldric....*L* the sad soul that he is....and Fry and Laurie...come on...all I need to say is their names..geniuses! emmm....favourite Bean episode:okay...so it's hard to pick a fav. but I'm laughing right now thinking of the episode on the beach with the blind man ......and the one with the turkey....it's all wonderful *S*

We have all the BA episodes on video:

"BBC from CBS/FOX
Britain's Finest Hours"

"Blackadder Goes Forth" Episode 1 - e.g
ISBN 0-7939-5563-7

Video # 5563

Now Fawlty Towers,* there was a real comedy series....pure genius, first rate, best thing Cleese has ever done.

*aka: Flay Otters, Farty Towels, Flowery Tw...etc.

Celt
I think you'd probably enjoy the John Cleese video - How To Irritate People.
A bit of Monty Python and Fawlty
:)

Thanks Mary...I've noticed it at the video store, but never rented it...will have to pick it up soon!

speaking of videotapes, I have found that once I have taped a show, this means that I will never ever have to watch it again....*G*
(for example, I have nearly every episode of Dr.Who on video, for ten years now gathering dust)
(Um, ok, I do admit to watching "An Unearthly Child" more than once...*s*)

You MUST see that Cleese video, Celt!!! It's hilarious.

Dr Who !!!??? Now there is a Fav of mine !!! .. i just looooooove Dr Who .. send them over to me, Celt!!

so er um Celt - if you watch your comedies
in order of preference then would that mean-
(Dr)Who's on First?

*remembers the month-old-egg catapault and
amscrays, eh?*

Hey Ladyq3, what's on second? *BDG*

I don't know...third base.

What do you think of the Vicar of Dibley? I think that's another very funny series.

The Vicar is a gem *s*

In our town, Python is on first, Dave Allen on second, and Who's on third...unless of course there's a pledge drive on the station, in which case Dr.Who is Dr.When...*g*

On my planet, "Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy" is on first, till it's demolished to make way for a new hyperspace bypass!

Jumm:

Thanks a Trillian

Highest Regards,

Zaphod Beeblebrox

and remember the words printed on the cover
of *The Hitch Hiker's Guide......"

*grins* could quite happily sit and watch re-runs with all of you.

Remembers meeting Trillian in person waaay back in about '83, along with her hubby, Dr. Who Peter Davison. I thought at the time that they both looked so....old...LLL

signed,
The Dirty Vicar

PBS runs any number of popular BBC comedies here in the States--Python and Fawlty, of course, and "Are You Being Served?", "Good Neighbours," "Take a Letter, Mr. Jones," "Keeping Up Appearances," the one about the retirement home (I've completely forgotten the name, but it was just hysterical), and several have shown up on Comedy Central, most notably "Absolutely Fabulous" and "The League of Gentlemen," neither of which I've ever found particularly amusing. (And you can KEEP "Benny Hill"! Every time I hear "Yakety Sax," I know it's time to change the channel, with alacrity!)

Cbleidd, I agree with you about the "Benny Hill" show....And the "Two Ronnies" show was even worse!

The retirement home one is "Waiting for God"...and it is hysterical!!!

This from Irish Abroad News Letter!!!!!AMERICAN CELTIC
Chicago artist Michael Carroll creates his breathtaking illuminations exactly the way the 8th century monks of Ireland did when they were making the magnificent Book of Kells, spending an average of 150 hours on each piece of artwork and using the same tools and methods employed over a thousand years ago. His work is currently being featured, along with several other artists, in the 'American Celtic' exhibition currently touring the States. This is not to be missed!

http://www.irishabroad.com/MyPlace/chicago/features/story.asp

*smile* .. i saw that, too, Jumm!! CONGRATULATIONS CELT !!*

Aw gee, thanks folks! *S* I had no idea that Irish Abroad was so well-known!

By the way, I've ended this board here and started a Part Three down below...future postings to be made there. See you there, slan!