The loading on Part Two was taking waaaay too long..so here's the new page...any new limericks out there to start us off with, folks? *G*
Celt

Ok, so no limericks yet...in the meantime, I'll put up a few of my favorite quotes and/or poems...

Nur Einen Sommer
by Holderlin

A single summer grant me, great powers, and
A single autumn for fully ripened song
That, sated with the sweetness of my playing,
My heart may more willingly die.

The soul that, still living, did not attain its divine right
Cannot repose in the netherworld.
But once what I am bent on,
what is holy, my poetry, is accomplished,

Be welcome then, stillness of the shadows' world!
I shall be satisfied though my lyre will not
Accompany me down there. Once I
Lived like the gods, and more is not needed.

"There are two ways of avoiding fear:
one is by persuading ourselves
that we are immune from disaster,
and the other is by the practice of sheer courage."

Bertrand Russell, 1943

"When I hear music,
I fear no danger,
I am invulnerable,
I see no foe.
I am related to the earliest times
and the latest."

Henry David Thoreau

F.E.A.R.

Fear Everything And Run
or
Face Everything And Rejoice!

Celt, I posted something from Irish Abroad about your work in your "#2 Enlightenment Board", mistakenly, did ya see it?

Yep...thanks Jumm! *S*

If the stars should appear
one night in a thousand years,
how men would believe and adore,
and preserve for many generations
the remembrance of the City of God
which had been shown!

But every night come out
these envoys of beauty,
and light the universe
with their admonishing smile.

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

*also see "Nightfall" by Azimov

"The most dangerous thing to do
is to stand still."
-William S. Burroughs

*(Not sure whether or not this was in reference to his wife.) ;)

Try to look unimportant, because the bad guys might be low on ammo.

do the 'good guys' still win these days?

"Now, now my good man, this is no time for making enemies."
- Voltaire (1694-1778) on his deathbed in response to a priest asking that he renounce Satan.


nothing like covering your arse, hey? *L*

ROFLMAO...thanks for posting that, Lace *searching for a pencil to write that one down*

and while we're on the subject of famous last words...

"..either that wallpaper goes, or I do..."

-Oscar Wilde, on his deathbed

Once there was a Man who knew
unwelcome intimacy with his shoe
betwixt the sole
and his horny toe
the pebble grew and GREW.

Facts.Entirely.Advocate.Reminiscence

Seems I'm always stopping by Tir when no one is around...never fails. So sometimes I'll sit and wait and type to myself, which usually goes something like this...
*steps in out of the cold, sneaks behind bar to pour a latenight pint
*notices shocked faces of old people peering in the pub windows
Jaysus, it's quarter to seven on Sunday morning here! How did that happen...?
Move along, good people, nothing to see here...go on now, off to early Mass with ye all...
...can't a man have a pint without all this worry over the position of the sun in the sky?
ah well, seems no one will be stopping by for a drink, so I'll be off...slan all! *gone*

Oh Celt....I had noticed that you were not having any luck getting a yak with anyone in the Tir lately. I usually pop in about mid afternoon (West OZ) and miss you by about 2000 seconds (you do the maths *L*) Today it was 2332, to be precise for no good reason. *L* My heart goes out to you because I know it makes me feel soooo disappointed when there's noone in the Tir to talk to. Total anticlimax...*sigh* Oh well just thought I'd let you know that I've heard your howl in the darkness...sorry about the wolf image just some thing that popped into my head thinking of all of you up there in the cold....I think I bin talking to too many Canadians.........*S*

Cheers

Thanks Leda! *g*

*trying to hide her thick Canadian accent* ahem!...pardon me...emmmm...*lol* I have had the unfortunate experience of missing you by not that many seconds in Tir as well Celt....seems like whenever I show up, you've just 'slogged off'! Perhaps one of these days I'll have the honour of catching you in time? hope so anyway!*s* lets synchronize our watches folks! *s*

Next time, I won't miss you, Celt, while you're in Tir.
I have Charlton Heston and his boys on my side...I hear they NEVER miss *G*

''If there's any shooting to be done, Dr. Zaius, you'll be the FIRST to go...you can COUNT on it!''
-Taylor

By the way I hear there's a new remake coming out soon...will be called:

''Escape From the Battle for Conquest Beneath the Planet of the Apes''

*heh heh...did I miss any?

Jaysus, two months, and nobody's stopped by? I know that last post was bad, but it wasn't a limburger, either...

Hi Celt and everybody else too....
nobody's been around when I've stopped. POUT POUT POUT.....

There once was a girl from Oz
who wrote this limerick because
her fishy mate Celt
was lonesome she felt
and by now he should know who she was..

an absolutely vile limerick but I'm sending a sunny hello *G*

*hides ketchup/catsup bottles in the unilluminated corners of the Enlightenment Corner*

Fee fi fo fum, I smell the ketchup of a Phillyman...*shudders again* Hmmm, I'm gonna have to get some bright halogens in here...too many unilluminated spots to stash contraband.

Thanks for the limerick, Lace...vile, but in no way as vile as that contraband of Seamus'....LLL
(Jaysus, I gotta locate the source of that odor before the whole place becomes unihabitable...)

Sorry we've missed you maryz...maybe try late on Friday nights (USA time)...always a good crowd then..see ya then hopefully!

*throws another vile limerick at Celt*

There once was a guy called Celt
who this girl from oz should belt
twas not lacie
but lil ol me
who sent the limerick that smelt

*LOL* sheesh I should really keep my day job
I promise not to bother with the limericks anymore

There was a young sheila from Perth
Who's height was the same as her girth
Now she lives in the south
And opens her mouth
To emit words of nonsense and mirth.

Leda and Sorch went to party
At the Tav all was hail and hearty
They danced thru the night
And their moves were a sight
But next morning did not seem so smarty.

Alright no need to throw things..*ducks*

*throws things, anyway*

hey .. Leda, now you have to out do yourself with one that says it all about the bbq *s*!!

Seems a welt from a belt would be felt
On anyone's pelt but Oor Celt.
These rhymes are a torture
What do you think Sorcha
Would Celt "get it" if you had yelt?

lmao *

Remarkable rhyming skills, Jumm! *L*

Lacie nothing short of a poem the length of the Iliad would sum up THE BARBIE...*L*...but I'll work on it.

*L @ Jumm*....nice one matey! *S*

Ok, ok, I shoulda guessed that Dorothy was Sorcha...
''Don't be stupid, be a schmarty, come and join in Sorcha's party...!''

*trying to come up with a limerick about the two parties* .... never was much good at this.

so, instead .. this quote of Mae West (1892-1980)

"When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never tried before. "

''I can resist everything but temptation.''
-Oscar Wilde, 1892

"Guess the Secret Word and win a hundred bucks."

-Groucho Marx, 1950

"If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?"
- Abraham Lincoln (1809-1865)

"Blessed are we who can laugh at ourselves, for we shall never cease to be amused"

"The gods too are fond of a joke. "
- Aristotle (384-322 B.C.)

Nyuk nyuk nyuk!

Jerome Lester Horwitz..."Curly" Howard 1903-1952

Oh,Wise guy, eh??? *poink* (poke in eye) *G*

The gods must be crazy...

He whom the gods would destroy, they first make silly! :)

"God, I'm destroyed"

Me - after a very silly night.

I would like to know if someone will discribe how the original Irish people looked...were they tall..short...what kind of complexion..color of hair...etc.... and if anyone else has an interest in learning about their daily lives...? thanks....Catya

"Mamma, i drogati sono fatti come noi?"
"No, tesoro, molto di più"

Which Original Irish people? There have been countless waves of Irish people. Especially if we count the members of the Fey as Irish people (citizens in good standing having paid all dues to the United Faery League of the Isles)

Speaking of which, I need to get my dues sent off. Due Whap, Due Due Due Due, Due Whap... opps wrong kind of dues

Here's a bit of something on people in Ireland
http://www.freenet.carleton.ca/~cd200/mac34.html

And a potted mythistory (did I just make up a word?)
http://www.fortunecity.com/bally/kilkenny/2/ireclans.htm

As far as I know, the Fey aren't Irish people. They seem to be a relatively recent confection of Germanic and Anglo-Saxon traditions that were absorbed into Irish fairy folklore in the 19th and early 20th centuries. They don't exist earlier than that in Irish tradition, as far as I know.

The 'Original' Irish people were those who inhabited the island about 8000 years ago, long before Celtic culture first appeared in Central Europe. It's not yet known from where they came, but it was possibly from Spain or North Africa.

wow .. now that is something! I am kinda disapointed, though.

There's a cartoon drawing that I'm almost sure I still have somewhere.
It shows some warrior types cracking whips over a line of men carrying earth in their aprons.
One of the warrior types is shouting "Brostaigí oraibh a Fhir Bolg" (Irish for "Hurry along you Fir Bolg")
One the FB is saying to another. "Not only do we have to do all the work for these invaders - we have to learn their language as well!"

The cartoon may have merged a wave or two of arrivals, but ya know wad I mean :)

silly me .. what's a Fir Bolg???

Why haven't you continued writing the " social history etc"? Why? Why?

agrees with the Guest *shock horror* ... a question i have asked many-a-time ... and been ignored .. *waits for the answer*

Now, now Lacie. I'm sure that I didn't ignore such a question.
However I will admit to muttering something to the effect of "later".

As to why it stopped.
I got out of the habit after a period when my OCR technology went south.

The continuation is on my list. Unfortunately, the list is very extensive, so I won't commit to a date.
Sorryyyyyyy!


and:
What's a FB?
Check the links in my last two postings above.

Fir Bolg translates to "Men of the Bag" I believe, in reference to their leather pouches. Think I read that somewheres...

So basically, you could call them the Fir Purse. Though not to their faces.

Wunders if their shoes matched their bags....


~Wun~ And The Fashion Police
(who else.... *s*)

I am not sure ANYONES shoes would match those bags!!

Now now, Lace, let's keep it clean....this IS after all a family chatroom....*weg*

ROTFLMAO @ celt ... ya makin' me blush, man! *smile*

heh heh...hands Lacie a BB and a Japanese paper fan to hide the alleged blush

*fans furiously*

There once was a lady of Perth
who could jest with the best men on earth
but to keep reputation
used fans to hide face in
when laughing at scandalous mirth...heh heh

damn!! caught ...

then again, it could run something like this .......

There once was a lady of Perth
who has a voluptuous girth
............................................

ya know limericks aren't my forte *s*

There once was a lady of Perth
who was blessed with voluptuous girth
but she moved with such daring
the blokes couldn't help staring
and her suitor queue reached round the earth
(How's that?) *G*

ahhh, tis the artist in you, celt. *LMAO* I think I will have this one framed!

*BWG*

*dazzled by the grin*

Trek quote -

"Don't be afraid of your darker side; have fun with it."
Troi to Riker, "Frame of Mind".

hey .. how about THIS one?? (translation quote)

"Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests of the opposite sex in the bedroom, it is suggested that the lobby be used for this purpose."
-In a Zurich hotel

There once was a young man called Bobby
Who entertained guests in the lobby
But the manager said
That is not a bed
Go elsewhere to persue your hobby!

When faced with a choice between two evils -
I always choose the one I haven't tried before.

-someone

Accasbel !!!

*applause for Acc's limericking*
(Oh, and I believe that quote was from Mae West)

*aside to Lacie* There was an old joke going around the Trekkies about 1st Mate Riker... that as an actor, Jonathan Frakes has two expressions: with beard, and without. *snicker*

Number One was never my fav Trekkie ..... now, Picard, on the other hand, can land his space ship in my backyard ANY day !! *L*

Lacie called to Capt. Picard
Beam down in my backyard
We can't go into the lobby
'Cause the manager is snobby
Besides he's not got a Tír Citizenry Card

Yeah, yeah, yeah, Jean Luc, Jean Luc, Jean Luc...bleah bleah bleah...*LOL* What IS it about an aging bald man with a Shakespearean accent that drives the womenfolk wild? My wife goes on forever about him too...I have one reply to Picard:

JANEWAY.

(best Starfleet captain since Kirk)
(Now I know I'm gonna be in trouble and catch all kinds of flak from the ladies...!)*Ducks*

Janeway !! yikes...

Now if your gonna go trekkie over a female then my vote is for ...

oh damn cant think beyond Picard ..lol
I'll cast my vote later

LMAO @ sorcha!!! Janeway is a good Captain .. but has the WORST voice and accent *L* .... *swooooooooons at the thought of Picard in my backyard*

Hmmm, you're right, sorcha...I'd have to say that aside from those in the captain's chair, the female Trek of choice would have to be Seven of Nine...hands down ;) *pant*

Whoopy Goldberg?

Hmmm, not up against 7 of 9...no contest *g*

Hey folks, here's an interesting tidbit I found in an outdoors magazine yesterday:

"The Colorado State Dept. of Fish & Wildlife is advising hikers, fisherman and golfers to take extra precautions against bears while in the mountainous areas around Denver and Breckenridge.
People are advised to wear noisemaking devices, such as little bells, on their clothing to alert bears of their approach, and carry canisters of pepper spray in case of an encounter. People should also be able to recognize signs of recent bear activity and the difference between black bear and grizzly droppings. Black bear droppings are smaller and contain berries and possibly squirrel fur. Grizzly bear droppings have little bells in them and smell like pepper spray."

heh heh...

Somebody stop him or I swear I'll start telling Elepnaht in the Tree Jokes.

Somebody stop him or I swear I'll start telling Elephant in the Tree Jokes.

Hiccup

Celt...that was gross, kind of funny, but gross.

Daryl, if you drink a glass of water while standing on your head, you'll get rid of the hiccups. *g*

*rolls eyes and shrugs shoulders* .. I would have thought an 'almost man of the cloth' and an 'aclaimed artist' would see that 7 of 9 is all trussed up and tied down *L* (not for your enjoyment, either!!). That's why she never smiles ........

*wanders off to bed dreaming of Picard ........................*

sorry bout the grizzly story folks...*L* I didnt write it, but it took me in until I got to the last line...

*ROFL* I LOVED it! I even told it to my boss at work and she (having the same bizarre sense of humor that I do) thought it was great! *g*

ah but Lace, that's just it...the challenge...who wouldn't want a chance to get 7 to crack a smile? *weg*

lol

Two irishman were sitting on the top of a hill chatting when they noticed a man walking towards them with a parrot on his shoulder. The man calmly walked past them and went and stood on the edge of the cliff, grabbed his parrot and tossed it into the air then leapt off the cliff himself. Before plunging to his death he whipped a pistol out of his pocket and shot the parrot.

Seamus and Sean looked at each other and shrugged but continued talking.

About half an hour later another man trudged past them clutching a budgerigar. He just kept walking and threw himself off the cliff. He crashed to his death on the rocks below.

Once again Seamus and Sean looked at each other and shrugged.

Some time later in the afternoon, they saw a man slowly climbing the hill carrying a large crate.
They watched him stagger under the weight until he dropped the crate at the cliffs edge. Then he opened the crate and grabbed two hens out of the crate, one in each hand. Then he calmly walked to the cliffs edge and threw himself off. Once again the man plunged to his death.

After this Seamus turned to Sean and said.." I dont know bout you Sean but I dont tink dis parrotshooting, budgie jumping and hen gliding is gonna take off "

boom boom..

*rimshot for sorcha* and a huge collective groan goes up from the crowd...

I know I know..an Irish joke in an Irish pub..lol risky but I giggled when I heard it. I had absolutely no idea where it was going when it was told to me.

Well I cant do limericks and now my jokes are bad..so I'll have to stick to just laughing. :)

That joke reminded me of the ancient one me grandfather used to tell at every family party for fifty years...(I'm sure you'll all remember it, or some version):
Pete sees his old friend Joe, says ''Hey Joe, long time no see, where ye been?''
Joe says: ''Oh, I was out gettin' myself a new henway.''
Pete: ''What's a henway?''
Joe: ''Oh, about three pounds.''

*rim shot*

*shakes head*

grins*

*GROAN*

*whispers to celt* .. if 7 smiled her corset would crack!!

then again .... that could make it interesting .. hmmm ..

Star trek fem: Ensign Ro.
Quote: Everything I like is either illegal immoral or fattening. perhaps W.C Fields.

"Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes. "

This is an "illumination page" ? Can someone help me out over here? I'm trying to read a roadmap in the dark and I need some illumination.

*In an astonishing feat worthy of Colum Cille himself, our intrepid host summons forth flame from fingertips and holds it up to illuminate the hapless traveller

but not so close as to incinerate...*g*

"The Saxon came in the dark of night...with all the folk asleep."
"They killed off all the women fore, they'd rather rape the sheep." ---Marion Zimmer Bradley "Mists of Avalon" :) Uh, this is a poetry page...right *grin* Crookland

*starts to make a joke about ancient Greek philosophers, then thinks better of it*

ah the summer doldrums...the boards are rather quiet of late

mmm Just alluding back to Trek...
I always found Worf? Wharf? Warf? ...
god its been too long since Ive watched it...

very intriguing *wg* as opposed to outriguing ..grins at Leda and Luddie...I used it

Hi Celt *S*

well you might use *wg* in reference to Worf .. needs something wicked to make him at least HALF real *L* .. bloody Klingons!!

*waves to celt* ...'cause i get the feeling he is feeling neglected .. nearly the weekend *s*

Worf???? Bwahahahaha...

Hey Celt -Good Luck with the American Celtic Exhibition opening in Chicago. Had to post it here since I seem to get to Tir in the off times as of late. :(

Thanks Mary...the American Celtic exhibition will be appearing in Chicago at the Irish American Heritage Center, 4626 N. Knox Ave. Chicago, from the end of this month until October 31st...(Hmmm, Halloween...)Further info on the art exhibit is available at my site, www.mccelticdesign.com

I don't do plugs very often on this board, but since you brought it up...*G*

We can do not great things - only small things with great love.
Mother Theresa

"From small things Mama, big things one day come."
-Nick Lowe

Well the American Celtic exhibition reception was this past Saturday, and a splendid time was had by all. Felow artists Cindy Matyi and Patrick Gallagher were on hand to greet a good crowd. Harp and fiddle music, lotsa wine and cheese and other goodies, plus good company to enjoy it all.

American Celtic will be moving on from Chicago in November...for future schedule, keep an eye on the exhibition page at my site....slan all!

*sorry bout yet another shameless plug, Acc-*ducks*

Steps in, notices an inch-thick layer of dust on everything in here...jaysus guess I gotta stop by and sweep it out once in awhile. Dang, who left all these empty ketchup bottles in here??? !###! that Seamus!!!

*hangs mistletoe over the door* No doubt that will get 'em lining up, Celt!

*Whooosh*........."Dang, that mistletoe really works....but I draw the line at kissing you Celt!!!! How about a brotherly handclasp and pat on the back from a fellow ex-divvie!" *Whoosh* (foot steps heading westward, in the inch thick layer of dust)

gee thanks for your admirable restraint, Jumm....ROFL
*puts on best WC Fields voice*
''Ah, yes....a Hearty Handclasp...''
And a quote from Mae West's tombstone: ''Pardon My Dust''

gives lacie,Celt and Jumm a Chrissy peck on the cheek whilst they are nattering near the mistletoe
Merry Christmas *S*

more famous last words at Little Big Horn....General George Armstrong Custer, famous for his adoption of Garry Owen and Glory Irish ditty as his regiment's theme song...

"Whew...never seen so damned many Indians in all my life."

nattering with Celt while he is in the vacinity of miseltoe??? I think NOT!! I would be snoggin' *wink*

*points to ''No Snoggin'' sign hanging above mistletoe *g* whatever the hell that means...though I can imagine...

Stops in to wish all my Tir friends a very Merry Christmas with lots of good cheer and good spirits *w*

My page, once a mighty foundation
of limericks, wit and oration
is now so rarely viewed
need I make it more lewd?
And risk staining my good reputation?
weg

*G*
I came across some of these proverbs on my travels thought I might share a few *G*

You cant chew with someone else's teeth (Yiddish)
A book gives knowledge but it is life that gives understanding (Hebrew)
It is one thing to cackle, another to lay an egg (Equador)
Even an elephant must be eaten in small bites (mine picked up from somewhere) *G*

Hmmm, is that what those are? Stains? *hands Celt the bleach and oxyclean*

*Throws another elephant on the grill*

*grabs elephant knife and tackles job with careful deliberation*

Sorcha grabbed in her fork and machette
And worked faster than a racer named Andretti
She consumed every bite
All in one night
And was last seen chasing a Yeti

Jumps, narrowly missing Sorcha's machette.

YIKES!!!!!!

Does it taste like chicken?

That reminds me of a real life story...did you ever hear of the real Kilroy? Kilroy was an Alaskan trapper who spent too much time in the winter woods on a bad diet and lost most of his teeth. Luckily, he spotted a bear, shot it, and took the bear's teeth and fashioned himself a plate. Thereupon he was able to eat the bear with its own teeth. Gruesome, but true....I read it in a book somewheres...*g

And as Homer would say: ''Mmmmmmm...elephant!''

PS-I like the quotes Sorch...thanks for posting em!

I imagine, Dave, if elephant tasted just like chicken, KFC would have guaranteed the extinction of the elephant *S*
But like anything elephantine in nature, plenty of chewing would be needed.

PS. Your welcome Celt *S*
PPS. Did anyone else love Shrek as much as I did

Really Really

chuckles*

I liked Shrek mainly cause he forbade any stupid singing during the film. Course then they had to tack on that tacky song and dance at the end...LLL

Oh c'mon Celt didn't ya like the Merry Men segment *G*.M. Flatley would've been proud!

I thought Homer wrote the Odessey. Did he like elephant too? Had they seen an elephant in Greece by that time? Hannibal hadn't crossed the Alps yet, had he? Are you gonna eat all that? Why is the sky blue? Uhmmm...Hey, this doesn't taste anything like chicken...

1)Yep

2)Dunno if he liked elephant. No record, as far as I know. It's nice with a red wine/juniper berry sauce, though.

3) The ancient Greeks travelled quite a lot, so they probably had seen, or at least heard of, elephants.

Not blowing my own trumpet here, btw!!

4) I used think it was Guinness that made the sky blue but somebody told me it is all that nitrogen in the air. Spoilsport!!!

5) Doesn't taste like chicken? I'll send you the recipe for my blue cheese sauce. Chicken, beef, elephant, otties, dragons? They all taste deliciously similar!! Well, dragons are particularly delicious.

Elephant fried in Guinness batter is a particular favorite of mine.
BTW Sorcha how'd things work out with the Yeti? Will it be on the menu soon?

Oops, I forgot to mention the side of smoked fly-agaric with the Elephant. It is essential to the overall experience. (Especially if the Elephant is pink)

hmmmm..... last time I tried elephant, it was stuffed in a delicious garlic and strawberries sauce. It's an ancient Italian recipe, handed on from mother to daughter....

Well ya know Daryl, the shaggy blighters can run!!
And don't get down wind of one either *peeyew*

Finally managed to coax one in with a bowl of stew..gave him a quick wax *grins wickedly* and put an Armani suit on him ....

*wonders to herself about where she is going with this *
Anyway..... Elephant with a Margaret River Shiraz jus..to die for!

So now we have a shaved suit-wearing beast running around, that makes a lot of noise that nobody will understand. How are we supposed to tell him apart from the solicitors and lawyers?????

He'll be chasing ambulances by day's end!

it's getting WAY too surreal in here....LLL

Ok, let's rile up the room a bit...
Given the terrible sequence of events in Palestine and Israel in recent weeks, what say you all? Is there a solution? Or are the two sides damned to repeat the cycle of violence forever?

As much as my heart would love to see Peace in both the Middle East and Northern Ireland......

hatred tends to be generational in these situations. Blind hate is passed on from one generation to another. It requires more than a leader to declare peace. It requires ordinary Joe to realise its significance.
We who are lucky to feel the benefits of Peace know its securities and its opportunities.
They need a Messiah.
Maybe its time for a new prophet.

Just wanted to share this spin on the old adage. I think it is especially pertinent to the Isreali/Palestinian conflict.

An eye for an eye leaves everyone blind.
-Unknown

If they were all blind, would they still be able to shoot at one another? I hope it stops soon...

*sneaks into Celt's bit of the board looking for some light relief* .... none to be found?? *shock horror*

my, my .. haven't we all got serious of late?

Ok, well somehow I didn't really think that a few postings here were going to bring Yasser and Ariel to the table...*G*
Alright then, enough of that...heard any good jokes of late, people?

That despiser of ketchup, Celt
Fell for a lass young and svelte
She called out for the Garda
When he tried much too harda
Trying to touch what he should not have felt.

(SORRY.it's been many months since my last limerick and I'm a little rusty *G*)

Rusty?
I'll say...

In the shadier parts of old Philly
Seamus likes to eat cheese steaks quite chilly
And then adding vile ketchup
He attempts thus to spice up
A dish that's already quite swilly

*G*
*sorry bout that one Chief...*

ahh, Celt....and here I was, hoping you were still alive... *L*

"...the reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated..."-Mark Twain

Celt, have you ever used that line elsewhere? hmmmm

Welcome Back from where ever you have been, btw.

A small boy was visiting his grandmother, and in the process of hurting himself swore. Gramma looked at him and said, "I wish you wouldn't swear, it sends chills through me.". The little boy looked pensive for a moment and then said, "Well, it's a good thing you weren't at the house the other day when Mom got her t*t caught in the wringer; you'd have frozen to death."

Ba-dum-dum.......ching.

*snorts*

snorting is NOT a good look, celt.

well it was in the eighties, but that's passe now...*L* (ducks)

Oy.

*shakes head at LS* no no no
it's AUSSIE AUSSIE AUSSIE..OI OI OI *g*

*leaves another TimTam for LS and Celt *

Dang, I should have checked back in here earlier...its been weeks, and these TimTams are all stale...*sweeps up crumbs*

TimTam hint # 64. Bite of diagonally opposite corners, place one corner in glass of port (or coffee) and suck through the other corner ....... I read it somewhere.

Those crumbs are precious, Celt .. stale or not!!

I can buy tim tams from arnotts online if I buy 24 packs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

quote:


"You can pretend to be serious; you can't pretend to be witty. "

- Sacha Guitry (1885-1957)

no intention for anyone in particular .. I just thought it was good.

Very witty, Wilde. *L*

celt, m'dear .. do you think this is taking a tad long to load?

Um, yep it tis, but if I start a fresh board, then this one will be relegated to the dustbins of history and all this wit lost forever...lol
Hey Lace, I keep missing you at Tir by approximately 5178 seconds...we gotta get this timezone thing figgered out

Heard a bad joke today, from my cousin the Chicago cop, so we must consider the source *L*
(Best told in a nasal, lisping voice)
Q:How do you catch a unique rabbit?
A:Unique up on him.
Q:How do you catch a tame rabbit?
A:'Tame way. Unique up on him.

*rim shot*

Ok, help me out with this.... how would I pretend to be serious?

Tame way I twy to be witty?

5178 seconds .... hmmm .. i thought the answer to the universe and all things ... was 42. I guess we dip out on the answer thaaaaaaaaaaang *L*. I am sure our Host will save this message board, on request. Takes but an email.

NOW START A NEW ONE!! *smiles sweetly*

Bumper Sticker -
You're just jealous because the voices talk to me.

*takes another cold and flu tablet*

Who Said:

"I never drink water fish make love in it"

Was it WC Fields?

Once ... in the wilds
of Afghanistan, I lost my corkscrew,
and we were forced to live on nothing but food and water for days.

Orin you must be great to have on a team at pub quizzes

perhaps we should stick to limericks?? *smile*

imagine playing Orin and Shae at trivial pursuit!! *groan* ..

Yes, it was W.C. Fields

I thought he said: ''You know what fish DO in that stuff???'' *LOL* (and yes, it was WC Fields)

Btw, does anyone remember which movie it was where W.C. accidentally drops his hip flask out the window of the airplane and then dives out after it, capturing bottle and stopper in mid-air?
*L* It's been years since I saw it...

Celt!
I think it was his last film 'Never Give a Sucker an Even Break'.

Stops in briefly to sweep cobwebs out of room...jeez, we need some lively music around here, or maybe some new limericks...anyone heard a good'un lately?