Tell me please, what happens when frivolous, (meant to be witty) comments we all make here on the boards, are interpreted in another person's life and time as something different?

It is a BIG question.

I have been guilty of misinterpretation, and have given more than enough cause for same *s*.

When 'The Board' was first opened, it seemed to me a great extension of chat. I guess especially for me, as I was, at the time, the only one in the Aus time zone.
For me, it opened an avenue of communication with EVERYONE, rather than just those i managed to meet in Tir real time.

It has grown! *s* It is now a venue for discussion and an avenue for talent and humour. Sadly, too, it has become a vehicle of 'one shot damage' with no instant recourse. I think we (and I include myself) are braver on the boards than we are in live chat ... well, maybe I am braver in live chat!*L*

I have tried, but dont think I will ever understand the (lacie term) 'lurker' or the Guest posts. That's me, though; not pretty, but what you see is what'ya get! That doesn't mean I am right.... just honest.

I guess my purpose of this post is ... (and yes, it is probably the longest post I have ever made on the boards!) this.

WHAT do I want from Tir? WHAT do YOU want from Tir?
The 'family type community that has done us all good at some time or another',
or just another chat site?

Then again .. there is SOOOOOOO much real, witty and honest fun that goes on here ............. hmmmmmmmmmmm ..

where is, and how do we achieve, the 'happy medium'?

ah what's in a name??
Sometimes names can be like a mask that we assume to step out from behind ourselves. They can encourage us to be just that little more adventurous. I myself have posted more than one name on the boards but hopefully those who need to know them, do. Sometimes we use the guest tag when we need anonymity. But it is sad when the guest tag is used to wound.
But on the whole I think the tir is still the friendliest little Inn around.
P.S..for those who just wander around in their IP's ...I think its on a par to whispering and is just a little rude, especially when most of us have icq. *stands off soapbox*

I vote for the happy little Tir we all know and love. But alas there will be times when Viking ships will appear on the horizon. Depending on their intent we may welcome or take guard...best course of action is to maintain our civility and keep the fires burning low just in case.*S*

I agree that we may get a bit more rambunctious in live chat than on the boards; I for one have said things that I probably shouldn't have and wouldn't in real conversation, but then, that's part of the essence of chat: that mystery behind the screen, the ability to be a little more ''us'' then we usually allow ourselves to.

I would hope that regulars and guests alike would hold back just a little on the message boards, which are more or less permanent. Our faux pas will of course soon scroll into oblivion when said in live chat... ;)

Ok, enough rambling for now....slan all!

Hi Lacie, Sorcha, Celt, sounds like I've been missing the juicy stuff!!! Lurkers must be really bored to lurk the message boards....but "guest" posts except in some instances can't be taken too seriously cause they don't have the imagination or courtesy, to make up a name....I think this topic is a great idea for those of us that feel the need to sound off, Thanks Lacie!

If some one posts something on the message boards as 'name'(any name)...and they are misunderstood by a respondent..it is easier for them to address the misunderstanding and set things to rights..ie by explaning what one really meant. The individuals concerned, if necessary, can enter into a discourse which can clear up such things.
If a message is posted under the guest handle and is misinterpreted, it is far harder to rectify because you dont know who you have to communicate with to stop the hurt.
I do think, however, that it is fun to have people come in as different characters as folk do in the OZ related boards...because nothing very serious is being said ..AND one usually knows who the person behind the character is anyway.
For myself, and I think for all Aussies around here, you can safely assume that if it sounds nasty we've got big grins on our dials (faces)...we're just trying to make you laugh as a rule...sometimes it falls in heap..you get that!!! *BIG SMILE*

If I don't know who said I then I don't know if I agree with it.

Highly NON amusing, guest and certainly uncalled for. The people posting here are being honest, serious (to their best capability *s*) and have names.

So get a name ................

I move that all voting be done by secret ballot

It's simple.
Any post could contain text that could be interpreted in various ways. Sometimes, the hurt or the warmth can be a matter of the reader's own situation. Language is a very inexact science.

We all know that some people here post as "guest" or under a variety of handles. I think that it's a silly practice. It's also discourteous to newcomers, since they are not in a position to instantly recognise the hand, no matter what the handle used.

Taking offence is a matter of choice.
Anything posted by "guest" can be dismissed out of hand when it's contentious.
That's not to say that a genuine "guest" contribution should not be considered as part of the rich/poor tapestry of Life, the Universe and Everything.

The world is full of oddities.
Humanity is too full of potential goodness to be distracted by folk who delight in stirring things.
Ignore them.

"Never wrestle with a pig. The pig enjoys it - and you just get covered in muck"
- Moi (and others)

Supplemental:

In the on-line world, there is no recourse.

Some idle readers might take a wrong interpretation from a series of message. Regular readers will eventually come to know what's really going on.
We've had such situations in the past. People have had the wool pulled over their eyes, but have gradually woken up :)
For those who 'wake up' under their own steam, it's a life-enhancing experience. It's better than having the truth thrust upon them. (In any case, it's very hard to 'thrust' truth.)

One has to accept the fact that some readers will leave these pages with a completely wrong interpretation of what's going on.

There is no recourse (as in 'public justification') for you.
They will learn a truth of their own somewhere else. But that will be their own personal journey - you won't ever know about it.

*Climbs down off the pontifical whatzit*

*Appaulds Acc** correct yet once again, oh mighty one. Thank you for your very balanced view of various situations,,,,how we choose to be affected by things says much about who we are as people. I seldom allow myself to be offended--it takes too much emotional energy----*thought just occurs to me---I think that means I tend towards laziness!!!* LOL

Yup! Too lazy too take a bunch of grief upon yourself for no good purpose. :)


Supplemental supplemental:

I should have mentioned that, in reference to posting under a multiplicity of handles, the posters in the Oz threads are fine by me. The handles used there are an essential part of the story.


If someone makes a bad start and wants to try again without the baggage of the first handle, then coming back with a different approach (and handle) is ok.

Continuing to use a multiplicity of handles in discussions is less than excellent.
Posting as an anonymous 'guest' when one has a handle is similarly un-wonderful.

Why can't you have anonymous guests? Why does every person and every thought need to be indentified. Perhaps words are just that; words. Emotions are also just feelings. Once you place an identity on a post, preconceived notions can be attached to artistic expression. Instead of sensing the true emotion or intent we may look for other "hidden" reasons that simply don't exist. Some of the best quotes I ever read were from anonymous authors, some of the best art work I've seen were from authors I do not know. I'll compromise, from now on I'll reveal myself for who I truly am. From now on I'll be GUEST.

I'll add my 2 cents worth.. I have never agreeded to "Guests" if you haven't the courage to supply a name then stay away.. as for me everyone knows me and knows, what you see is what you get. If you don't agree with me that's you privilage. I have fun on Tir and most times I don't even take myself too seriously so everyboby please put on a red clown nose then look at yourself in a mirror and smile

Maybe everyone should go to Florida and vote on this issue? I'd love to see the results *chuckles*

*waves* Hi Caoilte

Sit thou with us..oh silent guest..our friend unseen whom we love best... errrr..wait a second...that doesn't really fit well in this conversation..but what the hey...hmm..I wonder if there is a cure for this Multiple Guest Disorder ~Monadh..a.k.a. one of many Guests in a land that is always welcoming to all who wander in~ peace y'all *s*

The issue is not one of a "guest" posting, but one of perception of the guest handle being abused.

It is true that many people allow their perception of the messenger to unduly cloud the meaning of the message. In some cases, it may be useful to put a point anonymously. Separating the message from the messenger is something that I have used in commercial brainstorming sessions.

However, if the anonymity is used to be "smart" or hurtful then that is a clear abuse.
The last two 'guest' messages above are examples of this.

'Guest's should bear in mind that I can see the IP's from which messages are posted, so anonymity is not total.

I'm a guest, true to form and I didn't see the guest above in the last two posts as being hurtful or smart. Valid point and a friendly hello.

Having, on very, very rare occasions, used the "Guest" handle to comment on something I wouldn't otherwise have done using my handle....I apologize to those I have commented upon (though the receiver(s) did not know it was me), and shall no longer do so.

*packs up her smart-mouth and heads out into the night* *w*

I agree with giving names because it's the very best thing when you talk to someone you know. you can be able to be more comfortable and to be in intimacy and be cosy. it's like staying in a room with a turf fire lit up. *S* ili

I think that if a multiplicity of handles are used to indicate different aspects of ones personality, the practice is completely acceptable. It is even preferable to the mundane world where you can not tell what face a person is going to put on that day. As long as the person manages their MPD so that each handle has a definite outlook completely its own, that is fine. All of us here have used the nameless guest handle once or twice. sometimes to make a point without hurting someones feelings, and for a variety of other reasons. If it is done, the post is left out there for all to see that the poster was either someone new who did not understand how to get their own handle, or by someone who for their own reasons did not want the viewpoint expressed to represent them. If you find a witty retort to someones post and you do not want to get that person upset with you, in the mundane world you can keep it to yourself or at least tell the person *just kidding* Here that can not be done so guest or MPD (Multiple Poster Disorder) is the next best thing.

If it is done just to be hateful, it is wrong, but a famous man once said something about letting the sinnless poster cast the first cyber-stone (or something like that)

The problem is that MPD can be obvious to regulars, so there's not much point to it as 'the natives' are concerned. The style, the construction, the vocab, etc can be like a fingerprint.
It's simply confusing for new visitors.
The downsides outweigh the upsides.
(NB: I'm talking here about the 'ongoing' use of multiple handles in discussions, not once-off or occasional.)

Ongoing multiple handles are more appropriate to role-playing (as in Oz'zzzz).

There's a good case to be made for use of 'guest' to suggest a (constructive) point of view if a regular handle's "aura" might muddy the point.
Using 'guest' to have a dig at someone would be less than courageous - which is why I say that any guest post with a negative vibe should be ignored out of hand. It's just background noise.

The two guest posts that I referred to above would come under that 'noise' category.
The first is maybe just silly, but the second could be interpreted as a two-fingers at Caoilte, who had just voiced a preference for people to use names.


I would ask people to stop and think carefully before posting as 'guest'. Be brutally honest with yourselves. WHY use 'guest'?.
If the post could get a bad reaction under your own name, could that be due to the message being less than kind and unworthy of the standard that you would like to set for yourself? :)
If the use of 'guest' is simply to avoid the baggage that your regular handle has collected, then OK.

We don't have body-language or voice here, so we have to be more careful than we are (should be?) in the off-line world.

*grabs another two bob and chucks it in* Acc has just come pretty close to summing up what we are up against here. We have come screen to screen with the limitations of the medium in which we are trying to communicate. All the goodies that so essentially enhance human interaction..all that paralaguage... is lost to us in here. Facial expressions, body language, proximity, tone,....all that 'stuff' is very inadequately compensated for by emoticons and the like. I think, generally, we manage to get the message across very well. I have read examples of outstanding succinct-ness *s* and skill using this medium, but sometimes we blow it. The whole thing is complicated even further by the fact that we are from different cultures and nuance of dialect is open to misinterpretation.
*finally gets to the point* *S* It is in the interests of maintainimg a high degree of mutual respect and comradeship to clearly represent one self..given the limitations of the medium in which we are trying to achieve this.*throws soapbox into air for next person to catch*...*reads back over message* Cor what a boring old tart that Leda is....*LOL*

quote from the 'rules of the house'

Rules and "Netiquette"

When writing your messages, please use the same courtesy that you would show when speaking face-to-face with someone. Flames, insults, and personal attacks will not be tolerated. It's fine to disagree strongly with opinions, ideas, and facts, but always with respect for the other person. Great minds do not always think alike, and that's where the fun is! Also, note that messages express the thoughts of the writers, not the board or its moderators.
end quote.

that kinda covers the deliberately rotten bits and I think Accasbel's posts here are a worthy addendum.

Wow, things have been interesting while I've been away!
Two comments: how, exactly, can one "lurk" on a message board (ref jumm on Jan 27) - by reading it and not commenting? Can't see the problem myself.
Secondly, re the contentious "guest" posting idea. I have not posted as guest, I don't think - at least, certainly not since I had my own handle. However, I may have posted as guest when I've visted a website for the first few times, because you never know what kind of weirdos are out here in cyberspace. I do not particularly like receiving emails from people I don't know, and this can happen when you post using a handle. So until I've gauged the general tenor of the board, I've tended to avoid being identifiable.
I do think it's rude to visit a website regularly, and have regular contact with other users on that website, and change your name all the time. It's just messing with people's heads... and while we may all have "multiple personalities" I prefer to stick to one handle per site, myself.
People are always going to visit sites and make stupid comments, identifiably or not... it's no worse than toilet graffiti and should be treated as such.
ALternatively, we could always set up a board dedicated to responding to all the guest postings we dislike (eg re guest, name of thread, date ofposting: you smell.) Or is that a bit juvenile?

That "lurk" on a message board reference was a joke Suzycat, couldn't you see my tongue stuck in my cheek?:)

sighs...now I remember why I usually don't cruise the message boards. LOL. I've chatted with you all and had in certain ways, friendships with most......but after all guys, it IS the net. If someone posts without a name, that's their freedom of choice just as it is yours and mine to read it. LOL there's my two cents, plans on taking the 10 cent tour next time. hehe

There is no freedom without responsibility.

'the net' .... sounds like a cop out to me! I consider the www an extension of our everyday life. Therefore, I expect to give and receive the same honesty here as I do in every other facet of my life.

You and me both, Daise, have taken the 10 cent tour before. Your comment here seems to say 'I'll have something to say, but I think this venue is shite".

I guess it comes down to the question I posed at the beginning of this string .. What do the community of Tir na nOg want from their meeting place ('wateringhole' or 'Billabong' in Aussie terms)?

Me? .. I want safety, comfort, some intellectual challenge (though not toooooooo much *L*), fun and honesty - which means names. Except of course, where frivolity is warranted i.e. the Oz thaaaaaaaaaaaang!, or similar role playing.

I don't think that Dayzy is actually thinking the 'S'-word.
The Boards and Chat are two very different environments. I know that some people shun one or the other. Whatever people feel comfortable with!

I don't believe that people in general have a real issue with an anonymous posting as such. It's the content of such a posting that can be an issue.

And I've probably said it all up above, so I won't labour the point.


But since I'm on a roll ....... :)

Not that the constitution of the USA is particularly relevant to Tír, but for example, http://www.rbs2.com/afree2.htm has:
"The First Amendment to the U.S. Constitution only provides for freedom of speech against regulation by the federal or state government"

http://www.wld.com/conbus/weal/wfrspeec.htm is a bit more general, but it reinforces the message that "freedom of speech" has to do with allowing people to participate in political debate.

FOS does not (despite claims to the contrary) enshrine a right for anybody to say anything they want in any circumstances.
Some SPAMmers claim the right to fill our mailboxes with crap because it's 'free speech'. That's an absolute perversion of FOS.
I'd put mouthing off and insulting people in the same place as SPAM (especially if done anonymously), and we all hate SPAM.

Not me! I LOVE it!!! I'm having spam eggs sausage and spam spam spam spam spam baked beans and spam!

*sorry bout that...(shoos away gathering Vikings)

*sigh* .. Celt, ya gotta vary that diet!!

Yea, Celt, try pickled beets with that!:)

I suggest topping it off with crunchie frog

I just wanted to say that if you want to be anon then perhaps stick to positive or neutral comments.Some guests could be people who wander in and until they make a commitment to this site do not want to get a handle etc.
But in this case a negative comment can be seen as hit and run.

changes the oil, rotates the tires, lets get this baby on the road again.

btw crunchie frog on this board refered to the vikings and spam, nothing at all to do with the frog story

What frog story?

Princess Wun