Often, our animal buddies have a far more compassionate and understanding nature than humans could ever hope for.

They give freely, unconditionally, and with wisdom that is often disregarded by humans in their neglect to see beyond the tips of their noses.

I'm dedicating this subject thread, in memory of my dearly departed cat, who made me smile so widely, laugh so deeply, wonder in amazement, and fret so longingly, without even trying.

Would love to read other 'animal wisdom' and humour from other nOggers, if there is any interest there.

I'll launch this with one of my favorite gems my 'darling terror' taught me, which is so appropriate to much in life.

He BTW...was a fluffy 'puffball' of a tabby with white bib and white paws... he always looked rather 'girlish', but was actually quite 'brutish' in his behavior - especially when he would fly out from behind a shrub with a surprise attack (neurotic shit!), as I peacefully perused the garden, and would latch onto my leg with front paws locked and dig at furious pace with his back legs against my by then profusely bleeding leg. Such a 'Sweetheart' he was. (...ever seen a red head with hair standing straight on end while reciting Shakespeare's Hamlet backwards at 45rpm?)

Okay...Wisdom to live by...from Scooter's book of Life...

You cannot and should not hold an animal that does not want to be held! You will soon find your hands resembling 'shred' from the office if you ignore this one! :)

oh i have one.

If your cat does not like your singing, or thinks that you are making that noise because you are indead in a LOT of pain and need comfort. expect im to claw his way up your body just so he can stick his head in your mouth, just to shut you up.

(thanks you bigera darling, you big black furry monster you.)

A recent lesson noted from regular visits I've had from a handsome little shorthair grey stray, since my 'boy' died.

If your human doesn't understand you, take up social work among lonely humans in your street. They may be at home, when your human is out at work. In winter, this means their central heating will be on when yours is off. It's never too late to find a second home!

okay i have one.

by stairing fixidly at your food bowl you can get your human to feed you

Saw a great Mutts cartoon awhile back. The cat says: "Hmm,what's on my list today?"
1.Do less.
"Oooh, that's going to be tough!"

Btw, Silk's Scooter story reinforces my firm belief that if cats grew to be as big as dogs, they would eat us. *L*

and if they had the facility for human speach we would have to kill them all for being so obnoxiously superior. you know too much like us and all

Cat quote: - Stolen food tastes the sweetest....purrrrrr....(GET DOWN OFF THE DAMN BENCH YOU FOUR LEGGED LITTLE SHIT!)

Ever sat eating something and your dog just sits and stares oh-so wishfully?...It's so funny....especially when their eyes slowly follow the piece of food where ever your hand moves it!

My sister had a Jack Russell terrier "PD" who was a total sneak! One day during a weekend after disappearing for some time, he arrived back at her house with a whole unopened 1 kilo block of tasty cheeze in mouth!!! To this day she has no idea of where it came from...and didn't have the guts to find out either! hehehe... I have visions of this wee dog snuffling into someone's grocery shopping while they were busy on the phone.

I still don't understand what my cat finds so scarey about mice

*takes Laurelrose's cat gently into office....* Now Kittycat...please come lay down on my comfy couch and start from the beginning...what is your earliest childcat memory?

*Cat replies*...Well Dr Silk, it all began when I was only 8 weeks old...one day my Mom was carrying me by the scruff o me neck to me 'nest' where me brothers and sisters were, then halfway across the room she dropped me on my head to go chase this bloody mouse that shot across the dining room floor. I know she meant well by it but then the damn critter came straight for me!!! OMG I thought...the mouse is going to run up my leg...the mouse is going to run up my leg!!!! I fainted. Ever since then, Maam' I can't bear being around the ghastly things.

What's worse, is everytime one decides to take up residence in my human's pantry, my human shoves me at it yelling..."Get it Kitty...get it!!!". I mean...why doesn't she just set a mouse trap like other humans? I don't want to lay my paws on that bloody thing thing, dirty filthy things they are....yech! Plus those pantry mice always look at me sideways like they know what happened in my past!!" *Kittycat wide-eyed in thought*

*Dr Silk hands LRCat a brochure...* Here y'go. Your assignment, should you choose to take it, is to fly to New Zealand and bungy jump from Auckland city's sky tower while at the bottom your human holds out a large poster of a mouse for you to see. This should eliminate all fear of mice once and for all. *smiles widely* It may well improve your relationship with your human too.

Pat's Kitty gently on the back...you'll be fine..just take one day at a time.

ROTFLMAO

lol

Okay.....new listing here...TRUEST LOVE...THE LASTING KIND....

I have now two adorable rogues in my company as well as my new turbo model "she-devil"...(as hubby has decided she is...), "Pippy". (you should see her...she's beautiful...black with white nose and paws...and white tufts of ear fluff curling around from the dark ear cavities!)

"The rogues" (kittens left over), as expected, are a handful!!."Spotty" (no...not "Snotty" either)...a calm and indifferent sort...kinda like a cool cucumber sean connery in Goldfinger, type, always analysing his next move and a classic womaniser oozing wads of charm - he'd make a Fantastic tom, but being just a mog, I don't think he'll understand his seed is not required amongst the hords! Unfortunately I will thus have to de-knackering him (no...it's not a feminist thing either...purely convenience and attachment to money (vets bills are expensive)...)...then there's my pretty boy..."Cruza"...the KING of the house...ruler of the lands and planets and universe...high priest to be bowed to at ALL moments, will not settle with out an in depth love-session of cuddles and nose kisses to satiate his smooch-o-meter. What's a girl to do??? A poor excuse for a hunter at very least this boy is. (time will tell, however.)

God...animals are the BEST thing to have in this world....you get absolute truth with animals...no crap,...no facades....just what is is what is... VERY COOL INDEED!

Latest trick?!!!...okay...try this...

He slowly pummels your calf...begging for love....you look down and think...."Hey dude...I'm busy...can't y'see?"...He leaps gracefully and scales your tightly jean clad leg like a seasoned lumberjack (seasoned lumberjack???...interesting thought!)...all the way to your waist... you glance down with irritation..."Look here you...can't you see I'm busy with this damned chicken??!!"...His eyes fixated deeply within yours, locked with intention...he grips on and scales your body with his claws fully extended...your blood begins to flow and trickle down the soft skin of your arm...you look to your side as you chop your chicken...."LOOK BUDDY! I AIN'T GOT NO TIME FOR YOUR COTTON-PICKIN' ANTICS OKAY?!!...." Arriving at your shoulder...he leans in purrring...close to your ear...."But ...BUT....HONEY??" he purrs..."Why...that chicken looks.....exquisite!!!!" He drools..."You are SUCH a good cook and I LOVE YOOOOOU!"....PURRRRRRrrrr Purrrrrrrr... *LOLOL*

Ah well...I'm thankful that I have someone who adores me as much as I adore them...*LOL*

It's all kinda relative, ain't it? (...said the redneck to his cousin LOL).

BTW...my sympathies to those who have had animal losses recently. I know how it feels to lose your close animal buddy friends... *lights a candle for the beautiful harmless souls of the animal kingdom*

FOR INDIGO...*scratch, scratch, scratch*

At a loose end over what to do with your woodticks this year? Here's the latest in woodtick entertainment! Read on...


WOOD TICK RACING 2006

Think of it as kind of like Survivor and the Amazing Race together in one event. For the past few years, people have tuned in to shows like Survivor and the Amazing Race to watch contestants go through amazing ordeals to win a dollar prize. Imagine an "amazing race" with the winner being the only "survivor" of the race. Now imagine that this amazing race has taken place in a tiny town in Wisconsin, named Oxbo, every year for the last 24 years.

Although new to television, realty shows have been going on in the Northwoods of Wisconsin for nearly a quarter century. It all started 24 years ago, in the bar at the Oxbo Resort, when a gentlemen named Dick Kuhnert wondered what to do with the many wood ticks emerging from their sleepy winter hibernation. Plucking a tick off of his arm, Dick placed it on the bar and watched as it sped around. Thus, the idea of the Wood Tick Race was born. Although the first year only drew a handful of racers, this event has grown annually and now hundreds of contestants vie for the title of Wood aTick Racing Champion.

Like Survivor, contestants vie for a money prize and championship trophy. Also like Survivor, many contestants do disagreeable things to keep their ticks alive between heats. Some have been known to place the ticks on parts of their body to keep the ticks warm, others keep them in ziploc baggies, breathing fresh air into the baggies to keep the ticks alive. Just scouring the woods before the race looking for a wood tick is challenge enough for some contestants.

Although the founding father of the Wood Tick Race, Dick Kuhnert, is no longer with us, his tick judging gavel has been handed down to his son, Randy Kuhnert. Randy has attended Wood Tick Judging School and studied his father's notes from past races and is ready to officiate once again.

Come out and see this amazing race or take a shot at being the lone survivor. The entry fee is $1 per tick and although Survivor Oxbo does not have a $1 million prize, the lone surviving tick sponsor does take the entire entrance fee pot.

2006 Wood Tick Race Information
http://oxboresort.com

Footnote: Sadly the 2006 Race is over. Next year, Indie! *grin*

*Dang!* I missed it!... and I had the fastest one too....
*mutters under her breath...wretched critters...*
I think it's a bad year for them this year...
And although the basic wood ticks are bad...their little second cousins the deer ticks are what can really make you sick with Lime's disease... That's what you have to be Really carefull with... those wee deer ticks...
*starts to feel crawly...scratch...scratch...*