for anyone who wishes to be nice and not nit pick and PUNS ARE ENCOURAGED and everyone is welcome. here is a place where crankyness is not recomended , and where mispelling is tolerated... here say hi bye and i love you with no comments about sentimentality... and all drinks are on me.

Welcome to my section of insanity

Bebobebobebo...*flipping lips insanely* LOL Like my son once said, "Mom, would you quit flapping your jaws so we can go home?" Hehehe...nothing like kids to bring one back to a normal semblance of life. *G*

What a wonderful wonce-a-PUN-a-time and I kan praktis mie Huuked-on-fonix digrea heer with LawrollRoze un we cun driiiiingggkkkk awl wie wanttooz an get haih on liifffffffffffe! *Slurring and blurring allowed?* No spells checked here? X

They're coming to take me away,Ha! Ha!
They're coming to take me away, Ho! Ho!
To the FUNNY FARM where life is beautiful all the time and I can see those men in their funny white suits and they're coming to take me away....
HA! HA! HO! HO! HEE! HEE!...hehehe! Love it, LR!

well as moments go this an't bad

Hi LR! I promised an e-mail but have been very ill. Will this do for now? It doesn't seem as though any one else comes here so I decided to post a message here for you. Congrats on the new job...probably see less of you here from the way it sounded? I am not on much as of late, just have not had it in me to be all cheery and I don't feel like visiting much. I am glad we have our own little place where we can just relax and be ourselves. Keep smiling...I am preparing to live in spite of things the way they are now.

LaurelRose...I love being able to come to your little secluded and private spot here at Tir Message Board where no one else but we two come to visit. Does that mean we are the only two normal people? *G* Only place I can have a normal moment or two...hehehe!

I miss seeing you online. Leave a message once in a while...and keep writing the stories. How about one on Sean the familiar spirit? *Handsome lurker from another time* Did you contact the Mangans? I am curious as to what you found out.~~~

nothing.. ahh well... the next issue of continuance is up and ready to be devoured.. but what shall become of poor poor sarah...god i'm depressed... sigh.. okay what did i do with that chocolate?

*Pounding LR in the kisser with a pound of rich, chocolate-y Truffles* You snap out of it, hear? Sean needs you...and so do I! I have a stash of chocolate for such emergencies...hehehe!
How did you come up with poor Sarah? Did you lose someone close to suicide? You know don't you that chocolate is a natural pain killer and much safer than other addictive substances. Yes, chocolate is addicting!!! Smiles!!!!! *Chocolate adding pounds of joy to depressed figure*

no i tryed at one time to kill myself.. but that was years ago and i am better now, no sarah is my neice's name, i told her she could be a heroine one day and i have also been reading antigonie by socraties and several romantic tradgedies also. but this is going to be something different altogeather

*Popping a chocolate truffle into mouth* Yer knur...irts hrd tor tark wirth yer mourthfur orv chorkolarts. *Swallowing and taking a drink of milk* There! Mouth all clear now. I prefer chocolarte to marbles in my mouth anyday...Hehehe!
But my favorite chocolate is the Hersheys with almonds...for some strange reason I love nuts! LOL
LR, have a great day and give Sean my love, would you? He is such a handsome one...almost as cute as Keith! *G* I finished making my cheese curds, put away the whey to make bread, and am finishing laundry este manana...this morning. When do I sleep? Never! Only in my dreams...LOL. I love this privacy LR...I can entertain myself so easily and you are the only other person that reads what I write! Hehehe...

*snagging a chocolate with out nuts for self and settles into a nice comfey chair and pulls out my book of histerical noncense* yes it is quite plessent... i need something for sean though... where does his family originate.. in state and which state, or which contry did they branch off from.. loves..

*whispers* Just to let you know, guys...I do peep in, just haven't anything to add to the conversation!

Not trying to be nosy....=)

me too *hangs head* .. well!!! tis public!! *L*

offers chocolate all round... *smiling happily* hi have a chocolate for welcome.. i miss you guys... loves and all

Welcome to this santuary LostSoul and lacie! We have plenty of chocolate and this is a very safe haven for all who may venture in...hehehe!

I welcome any comments and feel free to laugh along with LR and I as we discuss off the wall topics.

LR, I thought Sean would tell you when he lived and the circumstances there. Read the story, "Get Off Your Ass!" again for ideas. He lived at the time of the famine and many of their family died, including him at a young age like Keith Mangan. There is an issue of a broken heart here as with Keith when he died of heart failure at the age of 28.

Sean was a son of James Mangan and they are from Strokestown, Roscommon, Ireland area. As far as I know only three sons made it to America and settled here. There are no records of the other brothers in Ireland and James is listed as Darby Mangan on the church records. I have gotten into a lot of trouble with this family as they think I am just dreaming this all up. Not so...I did not come back for nothing and I don't mean back from Ireland!

Oh yes...the Mangans have an affinity or great love of chocolate! Keith can attest to that! Are you craving, LR? Hehehe...See, you will just know what to write about Sean. I wish you could meet some of the living relatives...all handsome men! I have not met them yet, but know what they all look like.

hmmm... hansome most are single and... yes they like chocolate... *grinning* i am liking the family already... mind you the little dear sean seems to like my neice's new electric remote control car. he just keeps turning it on and off. My neice thinks it's just so funny. mind you my brother thinks it's a short and it very well might be at that.

Lords of LIGHT i hate thursdays, i get up at the crack of dawn and don't get back to bed untill midnight. ack and it doesn't help having electric cars turning themselves on and off all night not to mention my neice with a tummy ache that doesn't want to disterb my bro and his wife in their room... not that i blame the sweet thing. I remeber having tummy aches.. well that's what you get with too much soda i guess.

one of the cats across the road has decided that i am the light of it's light, and i swear i did not incurouge the little scoundrel. and boy is Big O Gera in a tiffy about that. they seem to be settiling down now though.

Lords of LIGHT jerimey is cute*news flash* cute guy at theater class and community theater, one year older than me (just) and single to boot*hehehehehehehehehhehee.*well dirty thoughts are now running rampant throught my... wow he had a cute but and strong... i mean mind.

it's to late now and i have been up since two this morning.. ack... and such nice dimples too... *shaking heat* bed time loves and hugs all.

Sleep well Dream well

ta ta

adios

arividerchi(and i know i didn't spell that right)

slan

Keora

etc

LMAO@LaurelRose! And where were those cute dimples? His cheeks, right? Hehehe...*LR twinking cute, dimpled cheeks* Okay, you started it! Anytime you admit having thoughts about...yeah, right! *Handing LR a bar of soap from Soapy at Tir*

And Sean says you definitely turn him on...can't help the toys he has to play with because you aren't cooperating! Hehehe...

Did you call the Sean Mangan I told you about? Who did you contact and what did they say to you? Maybe I can call you again and connect with Sean the turned on soul mate of LR! *mlg* And he is wondering if you have a short or could you possibly pay more attention to him? LOL...

I told him the problem with LR was a very short attention span...hehehe! See? These Mangans love to tease.

*gets out a book to read to the young lurkers*

once upon a time, there lived a little girl who wanted to learn to fly. One day she met an old old woman, wrinkles and graying hair made her look like a gentle old grandma. well at least untill you got close to her and got a good wiff of her breath and saw her rotting teeth. The little girl became scared, this old woman looked like a wicked fairy god mother.
"hi old mother, good daye to thee." The girl said. The old woman looked at the girl rather peculiarly as no one spoke like that anymore.
"good day to you too young lady, what can i do for you?" The girl fought the intense irge to run away screaming.
"i was wondering if you knew how to fly" the girl asked because she had been told that old people knew everything. well she hoped she had been told the truth, too late to worrie about that now.
The old woman grinned, which seriously weakened the girls will to live.
"yes i know how to fly... but what kind of flying are you talking about? air flying, mind flying, flying in reality or using rec. drugs flying?" the old woman grinned again, which made the girl which seriously made the girl wish she were high, or at least drunk.
"um i would like to fly like the birds do." she said trying to hide her trembling with bravado.
"hmmm okay i can help you sweety."the girl shivered."follow me." The old woman said and walked away. The girl followed tentitively after her. they came to a cliff and the girl shivered. the old lady was gonna throw her off the cliff.thats what was gonna happen. instead the old woman walked back to the girl and shoved a backpack at her. and helped her strap it on. "you jump and pull tab here." she said tying the last strap. The girl started shaking. "there you go dear no bye." the old lady said just as she pushe the girl over the darn cliff. The girl screamed, remebered to pull the lever and fainted.

she came to on the ground. with a huge silk thingy strung over tree's and a broken leg. a few months later, with a cast on her leg and a crutch the girl once again met the old woman. who smiled and waved. the young gild imediately turned around and hobbled away as fast as possible.

The morral of the story is ... ask stupid questions, get thrown off a cliff and you wind yourself with a broken leg and a very scarey memory."

well little lurkers it is now your bed time... sleep well, and brush your teeth.

Hehehe...can I ask a stupid question? How many lurkers lurk when a lurker lurks back? Here's LURKIN AT YE LaurelRose...*Dirty rotten toothy grin*

You can have your space back, LR. Too many travelers at the Inn. Gonna hit the road less traveled and will e-mail you when the time is right.

Mystree, sean may be in a spot of bother would you check on him... okay now thats out of the way.

would you like some tea... some bickies or something.

Mstree, mstree.....*echoes into the void****
Where are ya, lass? I sent you an e-mail and an icq authorization request, but, but, I haven't heard from ya....*pout*

Laurel, if the tea offer is open to all, I'd love some! *can't remember what a bickie is so I'll pass on those! *L*

lost its a cookie.. but sure.. do you like sugar, how about some cream?

What has happened to the normal LaurelRose and her evil nemesis sidekick Mstree and the stirrings they cause at Tir? Did they die of DIE-a-rear from eating all those extra chocolatey Exlax chocolates? Chocolate this one up as a real Mstree to me. LOL!

We miss the stories, LaurelRose. :(

I IS BACK AND ... oh darn i sware i had something important to say and it's gone right out of my little Gealic head... could it be that tiny eight of me that is blond and... oh wait no.. it's just me.. nevermind.

ho hum okay a poll who loves... the fact that everyone is rather unpredictibal and wonderfully strange.

*Placing a bouquet of white roses on a friend's grave* Back from the living dead...*sigh*

LaurelRose, everyone thinks I am crazy anyway... they just don't understand my experiences. If I did not understand the WHY of things I would never have chosen to come back for those I love.

I could have been dead just like my friend my age who died Sunday. How do I explain to others that I was with her in spirit as she was dying? How do I explain my knowing before her family even knew? I don't...can't argue or prove things of the spirit.

I know there will be others who read this... even those who want to snip, snip. But my heart is broken...

You see, I remember everything. I remember my true home. I was home! But I wanted to come back...the hardest choice I could have ever made because I knew I had fulfilled everything I was here to do.

There was one so important to me that I could not stay. I was allowed to return with many conditions put upon me. I have clung to life precariously since coming back. I accepted more work, more to do here in touching many other lives, not just the one, the one who I deemed so important.

I always know the trials and opposition I will face. I understand that others are on many differing levels in their understanding and progression. I simply share and it is up to that person to decide what to do with the knowledge they have been given.

There is so much more to this life than work. There needs to be time for others...for serving, for uplifting others when their hearts ache. It is in serving and giving of your own precious time on earth that you become as God is, whomever you deem your God to be.

I thank those friends of mine who helped me as I clung to life again...three of the regs from Tir who love me just as I am...the ONES who gave their precious time to me simply listening and allowing me to vent my anger and the other feelings that were releasing.

LaurelRose, *S*, what can I say? I needed a place to heal my heart and you created one here that welcomed everyone with no conditions placed on visitors.

You could only have created such a place because your heart understands being broken and rejected by others conditional love. Thank you, LaurelRose.

~~~

~~~
RETURN WITH HONOUR
~~~
A Choice
Kathleen was faint, the feeling familiar to her. She was so cold, chilled through every part of her body inside and out. Her head throbbed with every pulse and she could feel her life draining away. She made her way to her bed and laid down pulling many covers over her. If she could maintain body heat she would not fully leave her body.

She knew something was seriously wrong this time. She thought back to a few months earlier when she had miscarried because of an allergic reaction and going into anaphylactic shock in the dentist's chair. She knew and could see those in spirit with her as well as those who worked in the dentist office as she asked for her coat. A blanket was placed upon her and she was able to stay partially in her body.

The reaction had been serious but the real damage was yet to come. Her vital organs began to swell and shut down. "Aronjah...why did my baby have to die?" she asked the one who directed her life's direction. She knew it was inevitable and she sorrowed greatly at her loss. She had suffered so much and had been out of body many times when the pain was too great to endure.

The answers had not come until six weeks later while she sat on her bed reading. She was in good health and spirits now and was surprised to look up and see her sister Mary who was dead. She reached out and hugged her tightly. Her eyes were all at once open to the reception there for her in the spirit realm.

"Grandpa?" She smiled and the understanding was given to her why they had come. It was her time to go home. She had always wanted this so much as she had been with her loved ones in higher realms many times and it was her true home. But something tugged at her heart.

There were things she still needed to do. Aronjah stood at her side. He knew her heart as she asked, "Could I please have some time? I need to put things right with someone." She felt the familiar feeling of sleep upon her and she laid down to go with Aronjah and the others for a family council to decide how best to allow things to happen in the physical realm.

~~~
Going Home
She was remembering this as if no time had elapsed as she rested in her bed trying to stay in body. She remembered how one week later she had lain in a dying state and extremely ill, the smell of death upon her as she discussed with Aronjah and Jzhemaun her going home.

Jzhemaun was concerned that if she left him alone in the physical realm that he would lose heart and give up on life. She had just found him and had brought him back to where he felt he had something to live and work for...her love. Kathleen had known Jzhemaun for two years in spirit before meeting him as a man who had lost his full time work, his health, his love, and everything else that had made life seem worthwhile to him.

Kathleen remembered her choice, "Aronjah, I want to live!" With her choice she went on with Aronjah. She knew that the silver cord that had bound her to her body was severed. She was home! She ran to her Father's arms and embraced him. A choir was singing a song of welcome to her. She was ecstatic to be free of all pain and sorrow of the physical realm. She looked into her Father's eyes and knew that there was more...

She had completed nobly every thing she had promised to fulfill. She had returned to His presence with honour, yet she saw tears in His eyes. "What is it Father? Why are you so sad?" She began crying with Him as her heart and understanding was opened.

"Kathleen, will you go back for him? He needs you and has always loved you." Her heart felt pulled as she thought of her plea to Aronjah to live. Jzhemaun had pleaded with her to stay, that he needed her love and light to pass through some very dark times...times that would test his very soul.

"How can I go back now? Haven't I fulfilled my promises to you, Father?" She was shown others who were lost and struggling. They, too, were questioning life and their purpose for even living. She knew them well from a former time and place. She knew that they, like Jzhemaun, were favorite sons and daughters of Father. He did not want to lose them to the darkness.

She was shown many more things and the difference she could make in other's lives. It had always been her desire to please her Father so she accepted the call to go back and help many find their way home again. She was given many more spiritual giftings and many conditions were placed upon her. She knew that her life would hang in the balance contingent upon her choices.

Her body would be extremely weakened and there had been damage to all the vital organs. If she did not obey the counsel of Aronjah and other's placed to protect her in spirit, she would be brought back immediately so as not to be lost to the opposition that she would encounter there.

~~~
Coming Back
She awakened and had been gone twelve hours from her body. She pondered the choices she had made when coming back. It had been a very difficult thing in the weeks that followed to heed the counsel to her concerning her friend. She had hesitated to do what she knew was right for him. She became ill again and Aronjah reminded her of the condition of obeying his counsel.

It seemed easier to ignore the counsel and maintain a casual friendship with her friend. But his choices in life merited her doing some things that would sorely test their friendship.
"Kathleen, I have told you that he must be tested. He will have many disappointments in his work as well as with women he will continue to meet. He cannot appreciate the gifts of life until he experiences the opposition."

Kathleen knew Aronjah was right. She stood to gain everything by allowing him to be tested. If he faltered or made wrong choices he would suffer the consequences. It was the means to prove him and see if he was truly one of honour. If he failed the testing she had the peace in knowing that she had done everything she could to help him succeed.

Her thoughts drifted back to a former time when she was only five. She remembered the things her own father had taught her. She knew it had been preparation for the things she was going through now.

~~~
The Visitation
The sun was just peeking over the eastern horizon when Kathleen roused her sleeping father with her excited voice. "Daddy? Daddy, get up! Grandfather told me to tell you some words." Kathleen's father sat up quickly and looked into her sincere eyes.

"Wha..? He's dead! He died just before you were born." He was wide awake now and wondering at her insistent pleas with him. It had been just a few months prior to Kathleen's birth, five years earlier that he had looked upon his father's face for the last time as they prepared him for his burial.

"But Daddy, he told me to tell you these words! I don't know if I can even say it right." The tears streamed down the angelic face. Her father looked into her eyes again and felt the urgency behind her words.

His face softened as his heart stirred at his young daughter's persistence. "So tell me, Kathleen, what did he tell you?" She paused a moment then repeated the words three times as she had heard them.

"Filleadh le ono'ir...filleadh le ono'ir...filleadh le ono'ir! He said them that way Daddy. I don't understand...I can't remember the other things."

"The other things?" Her father was trying to remember where he had heard those words before. There was something that was stirring in his heart. Then a picture of his own grandfather came into his mind.

He could smell again the smells of the farm mingled with sweat as he had spent many hours with his Grandfather 'Mac', as he was fondly called by close friends and family, working on the farm growing crops and tending the animals. But the words still eluded him. Scratching his forehead he remembered the broken parts of the language but yet he had not used it in years.

He had been named after his grandfather, his namesake and there was great pride in the MacBride name...John Keath MacBride! His grandfather's words flooded back to him and the impact of those words stung even now years since he had been with Grandfather Mac.

The feelings washed over him anew. He felt the shame as a very young man when he had lied to his grandfather about having milked the family's cow. He had been pulled from his bed and no blow could have struck him more forcefully than his grandfather's words. "Filleadh le ono'ir! Don't ye e'er be forgettin will ye? Ye be a MacBride an ye will ne'er be forgettin our honour if I ha' me way w' ye!"

The words were not spoken in anger but in great disappointment. "Can ye face me an our forefa'ers before me when ye are asked what ye ha' done w' the MacBride name?" Nothing more was said, not even a mention of the problems that were caused from his not milking the night before.
~~~
Proclamation of Honour
Kathleen looked at her father, the tears welling up in his eyes. "What else did he tell you Kathleen? She was quiet a moment then spoke again.

"I don't know how to say it Daddy...I can feel them and hear them but can't say it. I only know Grandfather and the words."

Keath MacBride bowed his head and said a silent prayer that he would be able to honour his words to his grandfather on that day when he had asked for his forgiveness. "Grandfather? Can you ever forgive me? I promise I will always honour your name as long as I live." He was deep in thought again as he thought about his life. He had tried to be honest in every way with all he met and worked with.

"Kathleen? There is something I need to tell you and maybe it is the reason my father told you those words. You see, sometimes we get so caught up in this life and its problems that we forget the really important things that matter the most. For some reason father was the one who came to you. I feel like there was a grand reunion as he went home. I feel he is still concerned about our family and all that we came to do here in this life."

His words stopped a moment and he was seeing and remembering his father and the story he had passed down to him. His father had smiled when he asked him if it were true. His father never offered his thoughts but had simply told a young Keath that he needed to heed the stories passed down from the ancestors, that there was much to be learned from them.

"Kathleen, I, like you, have had many experiences that were like a dream yet so real that I felt like my life here was the dream. I did not want to disappoint my grandfather after lying to him. We have always lived and followed a deeply spiritual path centered in our faith. Our beliefs were that we could kneel in prayer and ask our Creator to give us strength and understanding. It was after kneeling and pouring out my heart that I found myself taken to a higher place, one that I felt I had always known."

"Daddy? That sounds like what I have been trying to tell you!" Kathleen was excited and anxious to hear more from her father.

"I had seen and felt so much more than I could put into words. But there were these words that stayed with me. I felt impressed with their importance and wrote them down. I placed them in the family Bible and never took them out again. I think they are still there."

He stood up tall, full stature and Kathleen saw a beautiful countenance as she watched her father search for his hidden words. Keath MacBride had black curly hair and the bluest eyes that she found to be full of love and kindness. She watched him in awe and admiration and felt anew the great love that had been with her grandfather as he had visited her.

He pulled an old yellowed page from the Bible. "Here it is...the paper is somewhat cracked but I think I can still read it."

"The destiny of man and of nations is always being decided. Is it not time that God sent out a great army to revive a dying world? We may not be responsible for past generations but we cannot escape the full responsibility for this one ~ Our time has come and though we may not remember this hour, this commitment, we must not fail. When in doubt we must look upward. When we fall we must seek mercy. For this is our charge, our privilege, our sacred duty to gather our brothers and sisters and "Return With Honour!" (1)

Kathleen did not fully understand the words but she felt the impact and watched her father as he remembered anew his experience. "Kathleen, I went to my father and told him of my experience and showed him my words. He did not ridicule or tell me I was dreaming. Instead he shared a story that has been passed down for countless generations in our MacBride line." He paused and smiled at Kathleen before continuing on."

~~~
The MacBride Folklore
"My father's line is a direct patriarchal line from a Celtic beginning, even before Christianity was embraced," explained Keath MacBride. "The MacBride's have always honoured this grand lineage and the traditions of the ancestors in passing down this one story." He began to tell the story that had rooted his interest as a young boy...

There once was a land, far away from time, where a beautiful kingdom was found. There was never anything like it to be found anywhere in the eternity’s. The streets were paved in gold, a kingdom of great light and intense love. It was this light that bounced and refracted off the clear crystalline structures into infinite colors and patterns. There were many beautiful gardens and pathways and dwellings created for the enjoyment of the King and His family.

There was a peaceful feeling here, though it would not always be that way. Upon the square stood a massive mansion of the great King. He and His Queen had many children whom they loved dearly. There was an eagerness in the royal couple for their children all to have what was theirs, yet they knew that it had to be earned, not freely imparted as so many other gifts had been given.

The greatest honour that this King could receive was to be called "Father" by his children. He knew and loved each one so deeply and a deep reverence was upon this kingdom because of the Father's love. Each child was allowed his freedom to choose his path of learning. There was a great spiritual feast of knowledge prepared but few were eager to partake of all the Father offered.

The two eldest brothers had mastered much light and knowledge. They helped others in turn to learn the higher paths. Many followed their example and growth accelerated in the royal family. It was time for the King to call his family together to give them counsel. He looked lovingly out upon his family. They discussed many plans and the best ways of helping each one progress and grow.

The second son had his own plan. He knew the elder one had found great favor with their royal parents and he thought only to find greater favor with the King. "Father, I will continue to instruct and teach so ALL of your children will have all that You have promised!" He stood straight and tall, proud of his plan. He heard the Father thanking him and asking again for other plans.

The first son stood up and spoke clearly with deep reverence and love for his Father. "Father...Mother..." he bowed humbly before them, "My desire is to go as I have always done, there to offer my help to any who ask for it. I would allow them to make their own choices and decide what they would have as their reward from thee."

The Father presented the two plans to His family and asked for a vote. At the conclusion of the voting, the elder brother's plan was clearly the more popular plan. The second brother grew angry and shouted, "I want time to persuade others of my plan. I will win them over!"

The Father spoke and said, "You may have a chance to persuade others if you wish. Then we will vote again upon the two plans." The second son smiled wickedly. His only intent was for his own glory and power.

"You just watch," he gloated, "I will have them all when I promise them the things you would not freely impart to them! I will make it easy, with little effort. I will pave the way with my lies and deception. I will make things appear good while they will serve to entrap my brothers and sisters into following me. You will lose them all because you would not accept my plan. I will have ALL power and glory!"

The elder brother waited until the second was finished speaking. He spoke softly and lovingly. "No matter what you do or say, I choose to love you my brother!" The second was enraged at this and had to leave the presence of the great light upon the land.

He took all who had accepted his plan and went amongst the others stirring contentions and bad feelings. There were many lies told, many things introduced that had not been a part of this kingdom before. He enticed with many tools of deception. He stirred unrest and there began to be a great division and falling away of the family and its values.

Where there had been close bonds and love between brothers and sisters, there now was bickering, coveting, and all manner of ill stirrings upon the land. The Father gathered together His remaining children who had not rebelled. He asked them if they would go amongst the others and do their best to persuade them to return home where they could regain their standing in the royal family.

This was an intense time, a great war was fought in the name of truth and light. Many were drawn home as they tired of the empty promises made by the second son. They longed for the comfort of the light again in their hearts. There had been much heartache and pain among the King's children.

The first son gathered his forces again as they had rescued many with the valiant efforts of the higher and elect ones. They were the ones who had always chosen to learn more and continue progressing. He found that the numbers had increased to where there was only a third lost from the light of the Father's kingdom. He called the valiant ones and they went forth to report to the Father.

Father embraced each one...they were his most elect. They had proven that they would obey Him in all things. "I will hold you back until the last dispensation of time where you again will be called upon to go forth gathering others to the light and truth. You have honoured me with your diligence in serving your brothers and sisters. You are my most noble and chosen ones!"

He gave each a Father's blessing and many gifts to help them help others. They ministered throughout many generations of time in the physical realm, offering comfort and direction as well as divine protection to those who were upon the earth. Most were unaware of their presence and direction in their lives.

Many tried to explain the mysterious visitations, dreams, and happenings with myths and stories handed down from father to son. It was a long and trying time for these valiant ones as they awaited their turn upon earth. Soon they were again called before the Father and given final blessings and instructions before departing.

It seemed but a brief moment in Father's presence as they gathered and raised their voices in song to their beloved Father. They knew that there would be a veil to cover their mind and no memory of a former existence here in their true home. This was necessary so as to enable them to exercise their faith and be tested.

But locked within each heart was the memory of who they truly were. It would be their hearts that would lead them to stand for the truth and defend the light and knowledge. A final tribute was sung by the chosen ones...

Sent from a world full of light with angels and truth on your side.
You're soldiers at war till the end, our Captain will lead you to win.
Always, be faithful always to God's command, soul, heart and hand.
Return with honour chosen ones,
Children of promise your time has come.
A royal Father, so go and return with honour.
Saved for this moment in time, to carry His banner and hold up His light.
United in purpose we march, defending this truth in our charge.
Onward, forever onward, to God's command, soul, heart and hand.
Return with honour chosen ones,
Children of promise our time has come.
A royal Father, so we will return with honour
True to the faith that our parents have cherished,
True to the truth for which martyrs have perished,
We'll find the ones who are saved for this purpose, together we will stand!
Return with honour chosen ones,
Children of promise our time has come.
A royal Father, so we will return with honour.
Our Father, we pledge to return with honour! (2)
~~~
Remembering the Honour
Kathleen was startled to hear her father singing. "Daddy, where did you learn that song? Grandfather sang it to me!" Her father smiled knowingly.

"Seems there are just some things we cannot prove to others, Kathleen. We have our deeply personal and spiritual experiences and can never deny them. You know what you saw and felt. No one can ever take that from you. You are one of the chosen. And you never want to disappoint my Grandfather Mac!" He was grinning now, understanding the values he had been taught and why they were so important.

"I have been so wrapped up in just existing that I had forgotten the true way of honouring our forefathers. And you reminded me of why I have struggled so hard lately." Keath MacBride pulled his daughter to him hugging her tightly to him and kissing her on her forehead.

John Keath MacBride would go on in the remaining years of his life to offer love and support to all his friends and neighbors and family. He would stand as a pillar of honour to his family and his light would shine for all to see. His greatest gift was the legacy of love he left within Kathleen.

~~
A Broken Heart
Kathleen was riveted back again to her present condition as she looked at her arm and hand sticking out of the blankets. She was barely in touch with her body. She appeared dead and thought of her children coming into her room and finding her that way. She fought to hang on. She could feel her body but it felt cold and stiff and she did not like the sensation of going fully back into her body. It was like taking a nice hot shower and then climbing into cold, wet, muddy clothing.

It was then that she became aware of Aronjah lying behind her and a deep warmth penetrating her back to her heart. "Aronjah, what ever you are doing, don't stop!" It felt so good to feel the warmth of life force entering her near death body. Aronjah had things to tell her but first he must persuade her to stay with her body.

As her body warmed, she fell into a much needed sleep. This was what Aronjah had been waiting for. "Kathleen, you will lose your babies but I know you are too beaten down in spirit to endure this loss. He rejected your love and hurt you deeply. You will desire death and you must decide to stay. You are hemorrhaging inside and your heart is broken. Until you can accept Father's will I am to hold you here and not allow you to die."

He knew she would not remember the things he whispered to her. She would remember only after the trial of her faith. It would nearly kill her yet it was a necessary experience for her to pass through. Her faith would inspire many others and they would learn to trust the feelings of their hearts. Much good would come from her obedience, especially in behalf of the one whom she had returned for.

~~~
Pain and Understanding
Kathleen awoke and felt warm again. The pain was gone and she climbed out of bed to shower and dress. She had things she had to do. Her family needed her and there was much work to get caught up on. It had been eight long months of being tired, ill, and very weak. She put on a good front with her neighbors and family. They never suspected how weak she really was.

She had told only a few close friends and family about her miscarriage and dying. Even those who loved her could not understand why she would want more children. She had not told very many about seeing Anna. This was a child she had seen hovering over her youngest daughter Malia three years earlier.

Anna was conversing with her while she slept. Kathleen watched in amusement as Anna said, "Don't let them forget me! Please, don't let them forget me." Anna was a curly haired blonde with brown eyes and dimples...like a young Shirley Temple. She was one who loved to tease and giggle. Kathleen wondered at what she saw as she had been through a ten month pregnancy and nine days and nights of hard labor to get her youngest daughter.

She reflected on her last son's birth and the precious experience of many in spirit attending her as she was told not to go to any doctor or midwife. Kathleen remembered being given the choice to go to a hospital with her last daughter. She knew that if she did not to stay home for the birth she would lose her control and a Dr. Cut and Yank could end her childbearing.

Kathleen smiled as she busied herself. Her youngest daughter when four had persistently patted her tummy and asked her, "Whens yous gonna have my baby sistuh?" This ended after the miscarriage of Anna. Few would understand these things.

As the day went on Kathleen grew weary and felt weak. She returned to her bed to lie down. She knew in her heart that she would not carry this pregnancy. "Aronjah, if I miscarry again I will not stay!" She sent her thoughts and feelings as resolutely as possible. This time she meant it. Aronjah was at her side.

"Kathleen, you need to accept your Father's will for you. You need to endure this for a higher purpose."

"What good can come of this? I came back for someone who does not appreciate me! I invested so much time and gave my all to help him and I am angry! I want to return home...I never should have agreed to come back." Aronjah just smiled at her as she drifted off to sleep again.

"Oh Kathleen, I know you are thrilled to be here and going through the release of some very deep issues for many others both the living and dead. I am going to give you more knowledge that you will awake with. It will help you to understand why you feel the way you do." Aronjah continued to tell Kathleen about the remedies that would aid her release and healing.

"You will find a flower remedy that promotes deep courage and faith which comes from knowing the spiritual Source within. There is an imbalance that manifests as profound despair and anguish; the "dark night of the soul." This flower heals the deepest form of soul anguish and despair. The conditions you have come through thus far have been extreme and have left you in a very negative and acute form of suffering; however, this remedy is the harbinger of great spiritual transformation. You will be tested literally to the breaking point of endurance. You will feel utterly alone in your suffering and that you have hit "rock bottom". The extreme conditions of your dying and coming back, your close friend dying, the loss of Anna, and the life-threatening condition you have been placed in all will contribute to the intense suffering you will endure. But the greatest suffering of all is your broken heart...the rejection of your love from the one you returned for. It is through these forms of intense suffering that the Self surrenders to a Higher Power and is able to be re-born. You will witness a change in many hearts, that were hardened, by this trial of your faith. It is in precisely this way that transformational healing is possible, for when the soul is stretched to its limits it also becomes transcendent. The flower remedy will help your soul surrender to a new spiritual identity. "

And many more things did Aronjah share with Kathleen as she slept. It was now time for her to pass through the "dark night of the soul".

~~~
Dark Night of the Soul
Kathleen awoke and felt contractions. "No! No! I can't do this again," she cried. She was losing her baby and she was angry. She had hoped the spotting was temporary but then there was pressure and she ran for the bathroom. She cried as she passed the placenta. It was now evident that she had been hemorrhaging internally for about a week as she passed massive clots.

Kathleen felt all alone. Who was there she could talk to at this hour? It was now 11:30 PM as she dialed long distance. She heard a sleepy hello on the other end of the phone and hesitated. The tears burst forth as she cried out, "Ted...I lost my baby!" She was sobbing hard. Ted was wide awake now.

"Oh no, Hun! Are you going to be all right?" He listened as she poured her heart out to him. They talked about her friend and his rejection. She was crying more for him than for the loss of the baby. It was as Aronjah had told her. The miscarriage only triggered the deeper wounds of her heart.

Ted was deeply compassionate and very in tune with her feelings. They had grown very close and had fostered a deep trust as brother and sister because she had been honest with him and had allowed him to vent his anger and frustration on her. He had gone on to heal old hurts in his heart.

They laughed again as he recalled her words to him when he had wanted to end his life and give up on everything. "Kathleen, you remember what you told me when I wanted to give up? Man, your words have a way of coming back over and over to people when you say something that profound!" They laughed again as she heard him repeat, "Ted, get your head out of your butt so you can see the light!"

Her heart still ached and she laughed a bittersweet laugh as she said, "Oh Ted, you know I am carrying a great load and was told that there was a shit pile here that I could take a big dump on...well, you're it!" Ted and Kathleen both laughed through the tears. "I am okay now...you get up when?" It was almost one in the morning.

"I have to be up at 4:30 AM to go to work, but I want to be sure you are all right first." she heard him yawning and smiled.

"Yeah, I am okay now...feels a lot better after you find the pile and take a big dump!" They laughed again and said good-bye. Aronjah knew that Kathleen had accepted things as they were and could now endure the deepest suffering she had ever been through.

~~~
Clearing and Releasing
Kathleen climbed under her covers after saying a prayer asking for strength and the courage to continue on with her life. She slept deeply as her body was physically spent and needed time to rest. Aronjah and others waited and watched. Many in the higher realms were witnessing the deep soul transformation. There was joy above and Kathleen's grandfather smiled happily with her choices. She was clearing and releasing old issues from many generations back. She was clearing the family lines and allowing many to progress higher.

Kathleen had slept late and got up to shower and dress. She felt better yet something still did not feel right. She sat in her chair talking to a friend on the phone. There was a hard contraction and she was drenched in blood everywhere. She threw the phone down and ran into the bathroom. She was in pain and could not stop the bleeding. She worked to clean up and continued to pass blood and pieces of placenta.

"Aronjah, what do I do now?" she asked. "I thought I had passed the placenta."
She showed no sign of having the hemorrhaging stop. She grabbed the phone and called her husband to tell him what had happened. It had been nearly four hours and she could not even leave the bathroom. "Please come now...I feel okay but I am hemorrhaging and can't stop it. I need a blessing."

She was remembering a song...words of a song. "If I live or die, I will live or die for Him." She felt a deep and abiding peace in those words. A re-birth of her soul had occurred. Kathleen had surrendered her will to a higher one. She could endure all things now knowing that whatever happened would be for the good of many.

~~~
Spiritual Renewal
“Aronjah, I do not feel concerned any longer about whether I live or die. I have just come to terms with my losses and have accepted that this is the best thing that could have happened to me.” Kathleen was still losing large quantities of blood and should have felt drained but she felt a higher power from within herself strengthening her weakened body.

Her husband soon arrived home and came into where she sat, a sense of calm and peace about her. They discussed what had happened and he asked if she needed to be taken to a doctor or the hospital. “No...I only want a blessing and leave it at that,” she said. He placed his hands upon her head and blessed her that her health and strength would be restored in time and was told that she was highly favored and loved by many who surrounded her in spirit. He continued to tell her how pleased her Father in Heaven was with her obedience and that her every heart’s desire would be granted.

Her heart was speaking loudly as she conversed with those in spirit around her. “Then let it all be worth it...let Jzhemaun’s heart be softened and opened to the light.” Even now she continued to put other’s spiritual welfare ahead of her own comfort and desires. Her husband held her kissing her softly and expressing his gratitude for her presence in his life and for all she did for their family.

He had left a very hectic and busy workplace and needed to return. Kathleen assured him that all was well with her. She was tired and finally able to lie down and rest. She left her body easily and stood before those in spirit who surrounded her. They conversed about her welfare and she smiled as she saw her twins standing there. A boy and a girl. She was at peace as she understood who they were and the things still to come.

It was a time of renewal and dedicating herself to bring to pass many great events in the world. Her father had taught her well as he and others of her family stood smiling at her. She knew it was time to return to her body and she embraced all who stood with her. It was different this time as she had a new understanding of her life and purpose.

She awoke and felt a hard contraction and pressure again. The remaining piece of the second placenta soon passed and the hemorrhaging stopped. It was time to rebuild her health as well as her life. She was hearing words and singing...

With so many before me and countless to come, why have I appeared at the battle front?
I’ve no warrior skills or strength to show, what does He see in me and how can I know?
Have I come for this time...was I born for this day?
And can I give all He asks willingly? Will I do this, if He has need of me?
I’ve felt gifts within me, precious and rare,
And He must have a reason for placing them there,
Cause ev’ry move He makes is part of His plan,
How can my birth on this earth be by chance.
Have I come for this time...was I born for this day”
And can I give all He asks willingly. Will I do this, if He needs me?
I begin to feel His whisper, This is what I’ve been waiting for,
And soon I have an answer, This is what I’ve been waiting for.
The truth comes like a fire, It fills me with desire,
And faith is burning brighter...
If I live or die...I will live or die for Him.
I have come for this time, I was born for this day,
And I will give all He asks willingly. I will do this, ‘cause He has need of me. (3)
~~~
Acknowledgements
(1) From “Return With Honor” Embryo Music, A division of Excel Entertainment Group, Inc.
(2) “Return With Honor” Embryo Music, A division of Excel Entertainment Group, Inc.
(3) “Born For This Day” Embryo Music, A division of Excel Entertainment Group, Inc.
~~~

To Kathy...may this story touch you...and may your father rejoice in the work you are doing to find the MacBride roots. And by the way...the spelling was Mac in Scotland and changed to Mc in Ireland later on. Those dern stubborn Scot-Irish! LOL

You definitely need to meet our family at Tir...as Accasbel says, GO CHAT...Slan!

*bouncing in with small note book in hand.* well i am back.. oh here is that poem i told you about.

Tower

On a barren plain
A tower gray
No wehere do children play
On a barren plain
No echo's
No voices
No Mistakes made
Still the tower
There remains standing
A monument to pain.

Hmmmmm...LR, do you see what is behind the monument to pain? Or, to ask another way, do you see what is behind the pain?

To me the tower stands as the only physical evidence that there has been pain. That is all that anyone can see. But...go within the tower and it holds many secret compartments and hides away from sight many buried feelings that are not allowed to surface.

Tower has the appearance of stalwartness, quiet, but yet remains standing with no real signs that anyone has even been there.

Much like the life of one who has experienced severe abuse of any form. Outwardly we see one thing...the appearance of stalwartness with the quiet.

But inside...oh, just give me a key and let me unlock what is hidden in that tower gray. Unlock the feelings and bring life back to the one who stands as a tower gray.

ODE TO THE TOWER GRAY

I walk through life, a tower gray,
And no one sees the pain today.
My face is calm and so serene,
Inside the feelings seethe so keen.

No children play, a barren plain,
For time has taken love away.
Away...away...my childhood shaken,
I know not where it has been taken.

But somehow find a key within,
It opens doors of where I've been.
Confusion reigns, its hard to deal
In my tower locked, the things I feel.

I set about to set things straight,
Frustrated, angry, rage, and hate!
Then I stop...and finally see
The child must stop the rage it feeds.

Hope returns, the life restored,
The tower opens every door.
New life begins and children play
In the strength the tower found today.

The tower remains a monument,
Becoming a beacon, and love is lent.
The plain is lush, mistakes are made,
The tower lends a comforting shade.

Hope returns, the life restored,
A smile, such joy, through every door.
New life begins and children play
In the strength the tower found today!

Daryl...Hello! Sune le madei ere camyea...Saren lea opratuni? Esto leina uda veri, saba saren lea veri! Familiar with Atlantis? *G* Poetry for you...*Hugz!*

For Daryl...translation of poetry.

"Soon the day of 'My God Is Coming'...Have we lost the learning opportunity? It is learning about the truth, to late we learned the truth!"

Wouldn't you have loved to live in Atlantis at that moment?

*Hugz!*

*Singing in a southern twang* Where oh where are you tonight? Why did you leave me here all alone? I searched the world over and thought I found true love...you met another, and Pffft you were gone! Why did this stupid song come to mind? Ahhhh, LR...where are you when I need to talk to you? *Hugzalot!*

i have been job searching then falling in to be exausted then getting up to job hunt then falling, then realising that i am horribly sun burnt and want nothing to do but sleep then getting up...etc

LR...the road runs North, BELIEVE IT OR NOT! *A registered Ripley's event as was the Famous syndicated 'Waterhole Ike' of Golconda, NV* For those who never knew the famous Waterhole Ike, he made national television in the late 70's. Here is a bit about Ike to make you laugh, LR:

Waterhole Ike had his coming out party at the famous and reknowned Waterhole #1. Ike became a bit inebriated from his Coors existence as he hogged the entire spotlight in the center of the dance floor. (He crated off all the left over brew). Unfortunately he created a real stink and the proprietor, Mark Cowley, had to spray him down with Lysol breath freshener.

Budweiser, (and when not promoting the Waterhole #1 as its official Ike-on) Ike spent many long, pleasurable moments with some of the ladies of SWILL repute on a nearby farm twenty miles in the distance. He enjoyed the pleasures of dining on boiled potatoes and grain, especially when it fermented.

He had his own Social Security number and MANY dependents, which, had I filed a claim for him, I could have lived 'high on the hog' for years! You see, I was the Madam of Swill repute who penned Ike's ladies and all his dependents, and spent long hours feeding and providing for Ike's family.

One of Ike's sons, 'Ruff', had very red hair. He used to squeal with delight as he ran after me asking for attention. He grew up too fast and was very sore at the guy who left him in a very neuteredral position. LOL!

As an added bit of information, Waterhole #1 was also home of the annual 'Golconda Frog Jumping' Pit Barbeque. (Oops! A slip of the tongue...Frog Jumping CONTEST).

This grand event was known to draw many a wench as she pricked and prodded the poor frogs onto perfection to become the grand winner steeped...er, uh, steamed in a rich buttery sauce with a light vineyard whine, 'Le Feathre' to tantalize the wenchly palate.

(But in reality, the main course was a distant relative of Waterhole Ike that had been barbequed to perfection and served with Mary Cowley's famous barbeque sauce. Ahhhh...)

And Waterhole #1 was the home of the G.A.P., or Golconda Air Patrol. Seems proprietor Mark Cowley found a lone airplane prop in the desert that the Air Force dropped while doing practice air strikes hitting unknown farmers, ranchers, cattle and jackrabbits as well as, yes, a few jackasses! (Rogue may have fond ramblings of the Mountain Home air raids).

Maybe you are job-hunting in the wrong places? Salt Lake City does not have the best pubs you know. Maybe you ought to try Waterhole #1? Now you have an Inn-side on a chance to be head Wench at a pub where Chip and Dale are welcome?

LR...keep laughing! I will be in the Salt Lake Airport Monday morning 5 June 2000. It would be fun to see you again but maybe...maybe...your exhaustion would not allow a short rendezWHO in the flesh? I might check on having a G.A.P reunion with Mark Cowley if I knew where he was.

"Cold winds blow, and Gods look down in anger on this poor child,
Cold winds blow, and Gods look down in anger on this poor child.
Why so unforgiving?
And why so cold?
Been a long time crossing the Bridge of Sighs."
--Robin Trower (1974), "Bridge of Sighs"

"And the thoughts that always greet you every morning when you rise,
They never ever change, they're just the same.
When you're weary to extreme, and you never laugh or cry,
You're just a sheet of glass inside a frame."
--Dave Cousins/The Strawbs (1970), "The Weary Song"

Just a couple of songs that were on my mind today.

Dear Accasbel,

I am writing to inform you that I failed the uploading pictures to the board. I really feel like a CID now! I got as far as "Your Image Here". Is that the prompt for the location of the picture? Uh...where does the complete path go?
~Lost in cyberspace~

Ahhhhhhh...this is not a normal moment for me, LR! But thanks for letting me put the insanity here safely tucked away from TIME.

How sad the man who has no voice to sing his praise, his gratitude, his appreciation of his friends and all they have given to him. How sad the man who has no words to share his hope and the feelings of his heart...for such a man remains silent, feelings shoved deep inside...cold and hard outwardly as stone and it takes the gift of music and poetry to awaken and stir his sad heart to the beauty of his own soul and the joys of living.~~~

"Bless the daytime, bless the night
Bless the sun which gives us light;
Bless the thunder, bless the rain,
Bless all those who cause us pain..."
--Dave Cousins/The Strawbs (1972) "Benedictus"

(For some reason I cannot explain, hearing this song always gets me choked up a bit.)

You know what you said about the Mangans love for
chocolate well it's true.

keith_mangan@yahoo.com

*Drooling and chomping at the chips* CHOCOLATE??? Did you say CHOCOLATE??? *Tackling Keith Mangan in Hershey Hugs fashion* MmmmmmmmmmmWah! I love those Hershey Kisses as well! *silly giggling*

Where did you come from Keith Mangan? Did you actually read all the gobshyte here or skip down to leave a message? YAHOO! Thanks for the message...things get a bit Hairy here sometimes (MANGAN: German origin meaning 'hairy' http://home.earthlink.net/~ed921/)

Gosh I gotta call the LaurelRose! Keith??? A Mangan is always welcome...just bring a pallet or two of the Hershey Hugs and Kisses! *more silly giggling on a chocolate hi! full of gobshyte and mstree*

Is this for real? Maybe I don't know what a normal moment is.

Daryl,

Long time no see through the Tirs...something draws me back, but for only a moment. Must be one powerful Zephyr? This seems to be the best place to post, more private and a sanctuary of sorts for me many times past. I want to share some things with you as I have felt many things and remembered a poem and came looking for it again.

Go back to the poem Laurelrose posted Monday, October 4, 1999 - 09:16 pm called “Tower”. It has deeper meaning than what most will identify with, especially with all you are going through. I posted at the time my feelings...never knowing how significant the poem “ODE TO THE TOWER GRAY” would become.

I have learned that we cannot change another’s choices. We have no power to go back and change anything anyone has ever chosen to do or say. If anyone can do that, please show me how and I will completely change my life...NO! I would go through the same suffering and trials in my life to find the joy that is in my own heart. Without the opposition and testing we would never know our own hearts or anyone else’s for that matter.

A person may be openly ‘honest’ while others are looking but the real test comes when no one can see them...what will they choose to do? Will they help themself to something that is not theirs and justify it because no one is there to see them take it?

Another thought, does one profess love or caring only while things are going well? What happens when there are setbacks in health or means of support? A lot of people are extremely shallow when a setback such as this test comes. They do not stick it out to realize the blessings. They go looking for the perfect whatever. Here is a question I often ask people...

IF A FARMER WAITS FOR PERFECT CONDITIONS TO PLANT, WILL HE EVER PLANT OR EVEN REAP A HARVEST?

I know for a fact that in Idaho there are no such conditions. If the wind were to stop blowing people would fall over from leaning so hard into the wind just to stand up! *giggling at Idahoan stand up comedy and verbal irony unique to Idahoans* Hec!!! If you don’t like the weather in Idaho, wait ten minutes! It is the only place you can ski, snowmobile, golf, swim, boat, fish, etc. all in the same day! *More verbal irony? Hardly! Ask any Idahoan.*

It takes wind to clear the air and bring much needed moisture. Believe it or not, Idaho is a desert! The worst conditions bring the best crops. Many times hail and/or frost has knocked extra sets off potato plants creating the ideal number of potatoes setting on the plant. Tremendous yield of the finest quality and size have been produced in these conditions that we do not control.

When conditions seem ideal, the crops may look good but are not as good. There have been problems such as hollow heart, silver scurf, pink rot, blight (even the kind that caused the potato famine in Ireland) to name just a few that later show up. Depending on the year the potatoes will set closer to the surface where the ends are uncovered and turn green or may grow deeper and there will be no green ends (very bitter, nasty toxic potatoes that are thrown out having no value). It is always a challenge to the Potato farmer to create the most favorable conditions for the best potatoes. If you love to gamble you should have been a potato farmer!

Daryl, I want to share a portion of my personal writings and journal at a time when I was experiencing tremendous disappointments and emotional pain in my life with someone I had met. I am grateful that I keep journals as it serves to remind me of the lessons life is to teach me.

19 Jan 1995
There were the stirrings in San Francisco. What was I feeling? Why was I there? My heart was telling me it was time to heal. The answer was in California, or at least, a new beginning for me...a higher level. I no longer needed the past. It was time to clear and release those deep, deep feelings; to erase the pain and take only the knowledge and what I had learned with me and go on. Each person I meet reveals more to me about myself as the Master brings them into my life to teach me. I am so grateful for these trials...

The Curse

Performed by Joseph Paur
(Soundtrack from Rigoletto)

We’ve heard the tales since we were young,
Heard the songs that have been sung
about an evil spell...
Someone beautiful is cursed.
We feel sad through every verse,
til a kiss and all is well...
The message that no one can see
is clearer to someone like me.
There is no curse or evil spell,
That’s worse than one we give ourselves.
There is no sorcerer as cruel
as the proud, angry fool.
And yet we cry “Life isn’t fair!”
Beneath our cries the truth is there.
The power that will break the spell
we should know very well,
IS LOCKED WITHIN OURSELVES.
Yet we run away and curse our faith and change,
We run from everyone to hide from the pain...
and all the shame.
The story’s old, we know it well,
about a wretched evil spell.
The power that will break this curse
Oh, I know all too well.
IS LOCKED WITHIN MYSELF!

Powerful words to awaken oneself...myself. I have so much to do, to learn. The answers are coming. He is teaching me. I know and love my Savior. He has unlocked my heart, has shown me who I really am. He has a sacred charge of me, no one else. The pain is gone from so long ago. There is peace, complete peace in my life now. He is my Master File Keeper, the Master Keeper of my Heart, my Thoughts. I am on MY PATH, my life’s purpose. I am learning to find the “Joy” He has promised me. It is here, it is “NOW”. I am in the present time “NOW”! I love my Savior and will never deny Him no matter what may come of me.

“Repentance takes care of the past, faith the future, and FORGIVENESS helps us with today.” I release all past feelings and happenings and live in the present time “NOW”. I can no longer be held back...I am going on. I fear nothing. I continue to love and trust in complete FAITH and LIGHT. Thank you for teaching me...I have learned this, “In your skeptism, you have said often that seeing is believing. Believing is also seeing.”
~*~
This person had attached himself so fully to my being and was very angry when I asked him for a release. He was deeply hurt. He had been subject to unspeakable abuse and it had scarred him. He could not see his true self. Gosh! He was 21 years my junior and he did not understand that I needed to be allowed to go on as he had been holding me back.

I found myself in spirit many times near death while dealing with this person. I was with the Savior and He explained that I had to make the choice to go on or let him control me. I was not helping this person by allowing his anger and hurt make me feel guilty for doing the right thing. By going on many would follow me higher. The Savior also taught me about accountability in a relationship and how one truly knows that if they have met all conditions of the three A’s and the other person refuses to respond or change, they are not to be condemned for the failure of a relationship of any kind, more especially the commitment of marriage.

(Portion of a letter I wrote to this person)
23 June 1995
I would like to share from my heart how I truly feel about you... I call them the three A’s of an honest relationship:

ACCEPTANCE-I have learned from you how wrong it is to judge others and their conditions in life. I think it took a lot of tirals and wading through deep feelings to find this truth. I have no right to inflict my opinions, perceptions, or views on another. Acceptance opens the heart for a higher law, His law, the law all others are based on. It is CHARITY or the pure and unconditional love of our Savior. I have had to learn how to truly forgive others but most important, to forgive myself. This has made the transition from Judgment to Charity much easier. I now accept myself as I AM even if I do make mistakes. Mistakes are a very important part of our learning and growing here in this life.

ADMIRATION-...I admire how you genuinely care about me. Others may be fooled by the mask of anger you use to cover your true feelings, but your light radiates through so brightly to me, even across the distance and there has never really been a separation between us. I likened it to a silver thread once...I admire your love of life, the simple things, such as cars. I never used to care about cars but now I see every Towncar on the road of life as it passes, especially the white ones. They do not come cheap, do they? They are an extremely valuable possession to have yet how many truly appreciate what is in their midst? Some day I will share a humorous story about an experience I had with a Towncar...I admire your great strength and courage to persist in the face of trials and afflictions...I admire your strength of leadership...I loved your home while I was there ever too brief. I admire the way you express yourself in your surroundings. You are truly creative and there is a balance and vibration in you that others lack. You are a wonderful listener and I have always admired your understanding heart...I admire your high intelligence and the healing you bring with you. Please continue to use this gift to bless others live’s as you have blessed mine...I admire the way you drink in knowledge and your humble way of using it to bless other’s lives. I will have to stop...too many tears right now. You will just know in your heart that I truly admire you and why.

APPRECIATION- This is an easy one for me. I appreciate you so fully for just being the person you are. Because of you I have recognized many truths that were always in my heart. I appreciate your words to me when I was going to leave you behind and go on without you. I truly appreciate your promise to me of following me to the ends of the earth because your presence has never left me. I know who held me as I struggled so many times just recently for my life...I know what I have been promised if I but endure and live true and faithful to all of my covenants. ..I appreciate every trial, test, and hardship I have been through, for I have never been alone and I have achieved a much higher level than I ever could have achieved alone...I continue to walk my path and you will walk yours. I am being taught about the continuum of time in relationship to eternity. I am being taught how we can shift the continuum by every choice we make. We can hasten or delay our Savior’s coming. I choose to hasten His coming for then I shall receive every blessing and reward that I have been promised here and through the veil...I truly appreciate your understanding heart...I have been promised by the Savior that we will meet once again and will converse of many things concerning our covenants and of the spirit. Some day we will be able to share the things we can not share at this time. For now, please accept the tape I put together of my own music and the songs I love to sing. I would have liked you to hear it when it is perfect, but...this in not needed, that the mistakes are necessary and that the intents of my heart and testimony will better be understood because I recorded the music as it came from my heart...I have just learned something else about you...I spill my guts everytime I write or talk to you. Thank you for your gifts to me and most of all, the healing of my heart. I hope you will understand now why I love you. EROS ANO TENA, Your eternal sister
~*~
Pretty intense? I should say so but if I told the rest of the story it all falls into place according to a divine plan. I never seem to tell the rest of the story, do I? I love to start them and people will determine their own endings.
~*~
I also found this timely quote...

“Gratitude is a great stream into which are ever flowing the other high and holy qualities of human life; it becomes adorable when touched with the glow of God and opens up the human soul to the glories of everlasting and eternal things. No one can approach the higher things of life without gratitude.” ---Joseph Quinney, Jr.

...and more thoughts:
“Knowledge does not always bring understanding and it can condemn you if you are not ready to live according to the higher laws upon which this knowledge is based.”

Daryl, if any others read this they are welcome to my heart. *Big Grin* The truth of the matter is that I am extremely busy but never too busy to care about someone who once helped me. I will see you in your dreams!!!!

“Sune le madei ere camyea...Saren lea opratuni? Esto leina uda veri, saba saren lea veri!”

Good GOD!

one would think LR would have something else to say.. Sigh right LR wants me to tell everyone hi.

and if she don't get her own puter soon i am going to kill pull all her red hair out, why the heck don't she fix her own machine and let mine alone?

LR is happy, LR is leaving utah for a few days, LR is going on an archeological dig, LR really really really really really really really... really excited.

eeeek*bouncing up and down.* for those wondering i have many personalities but only LR visits tir. there is LadySoahc and crystalfire and another but she's so far back i can't remember her name.

EEEEEK i'm going on a dig... EEEEEEEK!!!*grinning*

okay i'm done... no i'm not, EeeeeeeeeeKKKKKKKK!!!!!

Come on, LR, I know there are a good two or three more where those came from. *Quickly grabs a pair of ear plugs*

Congratulations! Bring us back a bone, or something.

lol... sure, my physisit personality claims that it is all a manifestation of quantum physics.

My psycologist personality thinks it's froidian.

my sprititual advisor pwersonality thinks that it might have something to do with my previous lives.


there are a few others who would like to hit you on the head with a frying pan and still another who would rather make you an omelet... which one would you be talking to now?

sorry i just confused myself

In the immortal words uttered by the Ape king in the book Radix, "Never under estimate the importance of a truly great omelet!"

WHAT THE HELL IS A VIBRAM SOLE???

Hmmm, perhaps tis a thoroughly modern and liberated lady fish...?

IF i get ONE more BLOODY problem I WILL GO completely and utterly NUTS. I will get out my brothers left over army thingys and hunt down the damn insurance company, AND the damn Health care proffesionalys and do to them what they've done to my bloody Credity. i will not stop there i will then go and hunt down other peoples HMOs and make sure they... oh hell... oh hell (taking deep breath and trying not to cry, or blow the hell out of someone.) okay okay i am calm, i am calm i am calm i will not shoot the medical billing person... i will breath, i will breath...calm calm... i am standing on a warm beach, with small waves and a blue sky with calming clouds .. just floating by.... breath in, breath out breath in breath out... i am calm i am not stressed i will not let this get to me. i will deal with this with serenity. i am a clear lake. i am as strong as a mountian i will not explode. i will not let this get to me... breath in breath out.. i am still at work i must not yell at the customers, i must not scream into the phone. the intercom is not for yelling swear words at the top of my voice. i am a calm lake, i am a distant shore, unflinching. my surface will not be rippled by the caohs on the shore. i am calm noting will effect me all is calm all is calm. breath in breath out... calm

hey anyone have any hot chocolate?.

*Passes Laurelrose a LARGE mug o' hot chocolate and baseball bat spiked with nails!!* There, there...all will be well soon, *arm around your shoulder, in friendship*...

*gives Silk a hug* thanks silk

Sounds like you were in heavy labor, Laurelrose. Transition, perhaps? The breathing was great. I used to love to go breathe deep in the bushes...uh, make that my best friend enjoyed keggars at the river bottoms, bottoms up while breathing deep in the bushes. GAWD don't I sound GAWDawful? (pant, pant, pant) And keep yer pants ta yerself on those keggars! Hehehe! (chuckling at the memories) Hope you delivered a HELLthy HMO (HELL, MY OB-GYN) Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww www.go/slurp/yer/steaming/mugga/hot/chocolate! Love ya and miss ya!!!

Tao,

All is not always as it appears! Don't always accept everything one tells you as the whole story or the truth!

*bouncing about a bit* i'm gowin on a date i'm gowen on a date.. he be georgious, almost tall dark.. hansom.. *smile fades a little* .. two kids the youngest just finishing high school.... sigh.. but he georgious... and... sigh.. i'm going on a date.

Overheard in a Strabane pub.

GIRL 1 "How far would you go on a first date"
GIRL 2 "Lifford"

This may explain!

http://tyrone.goireland.com/scripts/low/xq/asp/areatype.t/areaid.3902/qx/area.htm

sigh.. turns out he's a bit of a peice of work.

he gets me a bit to tiddly for my own good then turns the conversation to a subject children should not hear about till they are old enough. then on the good night kiss he try's to stuff his tounge down my throat.

HELLO I AM NOT THAT KIND OF ROSE

on the first date too. so i have told him where to go and hope not to see him again.. I mean REALY on a first date too.

What's this world coming to? *L*

ok i am alive for those that have declared me dead. it's just that i'm a HS student. "time what's that! my teacher thinks home learning is fun!" yea need i say more. i'll try to be back more though.

IN AN OVER EXUBERANCE OF ANGER I PUT MY RESUME UPON THE NET.

#@^$^%*(&^(&^^&$$%#@#!@!%%^%$%$*()&&^%%^$%$@%$&*^(*%%^$^*%&}{||{})&*%^%#$#@%$&$^%##$@#!%&^*(()*%^@$@#$%$^(*&(&(*^&$%$@#$!%$*^%( cow that's all she is a &^&^%^%##!@$#@%&^%(&^

(takes a deep deep breath and decides on her form of REVENGE. yes it's the old melted chocolates on the chair gag.. maybe a few smeared over her cubical desk.

(hey ho I finaly get the chance to be the B***h)

now i am calm.. i got my revenge if only in my mind. i drove home imagining how i would get some super super glue and glue all her drawers shut on her desk, then glue her chir to the floor so she couldn't move it.. my revenge is complete if only in my mind.

you will never beleive it. and this is funny if a bit horribly sad. first off my bro in law is a complete alcoholic, which is really really sad. mind you he also beleives he can catch a god in a ring of used tobaco ash and pee *rolls eyes*

at about 3 in the afternoon sunday, as i was doing my wash i ge this phone call. it turns out to be the guy who rents a room from my sister and her husband james (names have been altered because you might know this person) in any event i get this call in this very calm voice.

(me) hi dave what can i do for you?

:Dave: oh just fine, do you think you could come over and take james to the hospital?

Me: sure, what happened?(very calm and a little bord)

Dave: oh he tried to jump the fence missed and landed on his back, on the fence. he apparently lost feeling and movement in his legs, so would you mind comming over?

me: yeah sure, i'll be ther in a few minutes(extreamly bord and now a little annoyed)

yes well fifteen minutes later i get over there and he has dragged himself inside and is lying on his back with his feet up. he had now got some feeling back into them and some movement back. he wants me to have a look at the spreding bruise on his back i tell him to ly still and shut up while i go next door to call the parimedics. and of course he doesn't till my mother shows up and practicaly sits on him. and boy were those paremedics cute. to say the least we laughed about his accident for four hours before i got to tired to laugh at him any more.

he was well over drunk, he had tried to jump from his shed over a fence that was over seven feet away into a neighbours yad after the neighbour had told him to just use the gate. he fractured his L1 vertibrea and since by the time he got home the alchohol was wearing off he was in a LOT of pain but still drunk enough to challenge the neurologist to a pissing contest. even with two shots of demerol in him. in any event in a couple of weeks he should be fine. although the embarrisment of the event should stay with im for a while. though we have no hopes that it might stop him acting out or stop drinking.

oh well. at least we were there and i got to yell at him a bit. it's wonderful theroipy. he was so drunk he didn't understand on e word i was yelling at him. I fell less repressed already.

okay that's it i have decided on revenge.. chocolate M& M's on her chair.

she hads told everyone that since i don't seem to be able to handle my work she will take half of it. (this was done without my consultation) so that when i asked for the other half of my work i was told that the Woman(said acidicly) had said that i can't do my work so she's doing it.. oh yes she's going to get melted chocolate on her work clothing

REVENGE IS MINE sayith the chocolate bar

right, just to let people know, i now have a semi new truck and i am taking an archaeology course at my local University, yes that's right... LAURELROSE is getting educated, yes soon she too will beable to bandy about words like Potassium -argon dating and cronotography, parralell evolution and external constraint systems on diversification of populations... yes she will.... just as soon as she can figure out how to work the dictionary, and maybe a thesaurus, ... or not.

okay who ever the B**t**D is that broke into my truck and stole my CD player right in my driveway is.. is.. well i am just so mad that i don't know what to call him or her. *runs about her small portion of the message board screaming in frustration)

now of course when my mother heads off to NZ to visit nana in january i am going to fee SO safe. (bursts out crying)

Gives LR a big hug and pats her on the back and tries to reassure her that she will be safe when her mum goes away; that it was just some #@?!**# who gets his/her kicks stealing from others who broke into her truck, probably some vandalous teenager; hands her a kleenex to dry her tears and tells her if there's anything I can do, don't hesitate to ask.

*leaves a 44 under LR's Christmas Tree* You're living in the wrong neighborhood LR.

up date on the LR news frount

LR has lost her job.. yes thats right she was let go, down sized, replace... BY A BLOODY AUTOMATED SYSTEM.. thanks i feel almost normal now if i can make it through the next two weeks i should be fine

Dont worry LR ,you could be a the only person in an ass kicking competition with one leg.so cheer up. by the way there is no way i am going to sign my real name to this .
P.S never eat yellow snow ......

Now i feel guilty. What if LR has got the sack / been pumped /been replaced by an automatic electric potato peeler,and then i jump in and make her feel worse. my god for all i know you may have only one leg. damn me and my bad jokes he he he.Ah well too bad ha ha ha he he he he

*thows yellow snow laced with green jello at moose head.*

i am only actually a little peeve.. i mean an automated monstrosity of a thing for heavens sake. it would have felt better if.. well never mind. though i do wish instead of severance pay they would pay off my new used truck for me.

wonders what on earth moosehead was drinking?

was so nice to see you today in Tir, LaurelRose... the planets must have been in alignment for once *L*

okay just over a month ago now my adoped little sister was arrested and sent to juvi. (for some rather nasty events which i will not devolge) my father immediately looks into whether he can annul the adoption or not. then as she is assesed the councelors realise that she was abused as i was by her mother/my step mom. but hers was worse. my FATHER decides that no one should know where she is, so forbids anyone from telling anyone else. an order which we all immediately ignore. then he proceeds to tell the counselors that he was the victem and that my sister is deranged and should be hospitalized forthe rest of her life, since she is also a compulsive lier. but he is forced to visit by the councelors at least twice a week. Saturday i talked to my father and he told me that the councelors were now telling them to stay away so that they could preform tests on my sister. Tests to deturmine whether or now she is insane or suffering from brain damage.(also from things i will not devolge) but then yesterday he told my mother that they had decided that they needed a brake from visiting so they had stopped going for TWO weeks. and that everything that my sister said was wrong because she is a lyer and no such events occured. Needless to say i was angry. i became so angry that i started having chest pains and shortness of breath. I couldn't seem to calm down.

Later that night i realised why i was so angry, why i was so devistated that it had made me physicaly ill. he was doing the same thing to my little sister that he had done to me when i was her age. he was abandoning her, telling her that he did not love her and never had, and never would. That she was the cause of her own suffering and that he would have nothing to do with her ever again.

I am calmer now, though i just want to weep. My heart is broken once again. but this time i seem to have the weapons to combat the devistation that was left by his defection. Now he will learn what it is to be abandoned by family. Never again will he be treated like anything but a stranger. He will be shunned

*sits with LaurelRose in morning sunshine. Not understanding fully her situation, but feeling her hurt soul. Takes the liberty of giving her a big, big Hug in hope that in some small way she is strengthened in today*

*hugs silk back and bursts into frustrated tear*

but feels better

Hugs and Bright Blessings to you Laurelrose...
I can imagine the emotional pain you are going through, and hope that things resolve for you...
Not having been in exactly the same circumstance, but having dealt with my own 'family' problems... I know it just tears your soul up... and it does make you physically sick...I've been there.
Take care of yourself. Be Strong. I'll keep good thoughts for you today...

Hey, you're well surrounded in here *s*, goes behind da bar and makes tea for all around. It's Automn in Leb, the atmosphere calls for it. We're with you, and know that in your deepest sadness and stress, friends from all over are here *s*. Just call and you'll get their answer.

Dear Mother, you peice of shit, i hope you feel my pain

i thought you didn't care, i thought i was a convieniant excuse for you. and it turns out i was. I try to fix something up for you, do something that you asked for. and you tell me you don't care, that you think i am being a child that i am lazy and just wreck your home. that if i don't agree that i am wrong and should move out or die, you don't care. you never did and now. neither do i. its a painful realization when you loose everyone, because they don't care, they never did. first dad, now you, and as you said, i don't care. thats stupid, stop being stupid. your feelings don't count. so what, shut up. or my favorite, you just start talking in the middle of my sentance about something totaly different, infact you do it when i am the only person in the room

well no more, its too late now, i'm gone.

Lauralrose...I'm still keeping those good thoughts for you...*sends a hug of strength for this trying time*
I hope things get better for you...families are not always easy to deal with...and hopefully the situation will improve...

*joins one hand with Indie....the other with LaurelRose to form a circle of friendship...*

LaurelRose...it might not seem it, but you have many friends here at Tir who DO care, and know that you are going through a rough time (many of us are) and we often think of you. Indigo is one, I'm another, and I'm sending you my hugs and caring also, for there truly is a brighter day coming when you will find it will all settle down again, and y'must hold onto that, and hold on tightly! Meantime...we're here Lass! Lean on us! Y'don't have to be alone in your troubles unless you want to be.

silksunrise@yahoo.com

I knew there was a good reason to return here!

LR...we are still very connected in spirit. Your phone number no longer works unless I want to talk to a guy that I think was single? LOL...maybe I mistakenly dialed your soulmate? I have many Abby Normal moments like this and this is not one of them...*read on*

Ummm...remember the Campbell fellow who used to call you? He has had his times, too. Let me relate a story that I told his mother after she related about her Irish mother and the denial she is in:

There was a woman who continually passed gas and she knew it but it did not concern her as HERS did not smell and NO ONE could hear them. She was getting up in her years and decided to see a doctor for a physical checkup. The doctor asked her is she had any specific problems and she immediately said no.

"But Doctor? I know I pass gas constantly but it never smells and no one can hear, so it is not a problem, is it?"

The Doctor hands her a bottle of pills to take and tells her to come back in a week. As she sat with the Doctor, he asked her if she had noticed any changes since her first visit. She replied, "What the hell was in them pills you gave me??? Now my gas smells like shit!"

The Doctor replied, "Well, that took care of your smelling problem...now let's work on your hearing!"

LR, always laugh, and, this too, like bad gas, shall pass! *giggling*

I have another true story to share about a friend of mine, 29 yrs. old. He is really a wonderful friend and a true gentleman. He recently lost his girlfriend in Australia who died of a massive heart failure as they were to operate on a cancerous brain tumor. He asked me one night to come into an msn chat with her and she was very angry at him. I went into a private chat with her...discovered why she was angry.

He did not know at the time that she was dying. I was the last person to chat with her online. She was concerned for her young daughter. She was afraid of dying. She told me how she had been beaten and left with a broken nose and ribs after being brutally raped by her ex hubby whom she had been hiding from for two years.

My friend was in denial...refused to believe her. She had tried to open her heart to a man again and he had violated her trust. She could never trust a man again.

I sent her a midifile of the music I recorded the time I died and went through the veil to the highest of spirit realms. I told her I made a choice...she had a choice. I would be there with her in spirit and help her.

At first she was demanding that she live for her daughter and the things of this world that we really have no control of. After listening to the music, she felt calm and peace. She told me she did not want to stay and endure more pain.

We talked about what happens at the time of dying, and she did not believe the things I told her about the spirit realm. She had a near death when beaten and left for dead where she saw light but she never saw WHO the light was.

She was Wiccan. She could not believe in anything but the Goddess because she had been so brutally traumatized by men in her life. I reassured her again that I would be with her in spirit and help her face her choice to go on.

I remember being there...and she exploded from her body as they were beginning to open her head. The things that occurred on physical level were meaningless to her because she was free of the pain.

She did not see me as I am...she saw the old crone goddess because that is all her heart would accept. She needed a woman and a very nurturing spirit. She is progressing and learning why she suffered in the mortal body.

It makes sense to her now. Knowledge of truth tends to do that when so many are stumbling blindly being led by those who profess to understand the unknown.

There is nothing secret about higher realms. All are privy to the light and knowledge there. One need only attune their own life force, or frequency to that higher level to see and learn instead of relying on the low vibrations of this physical realm.

LR...I am still trying to help my friend understand but he did not at first believe me that she was dead. He called from Alberta, Canada and got no answer.

Her best friend had come online the next night and told me what had happened. I also shared things with her about our chat the night before her death with this friend of hers.

Can things be explained here that happen to us? It does not make sense when viewing from a mortal existence alone. I hope this helps you find answers and to understand all that you experience is for your good.

My love always...to you and everyone at Tir because I have walked in the true Tir na nOg many times and returned to help many, many others who are drawn to the light that radiates because of where I have been.

Life will continue...on all levels of being. The first time I ever chatted at Tir I was greeted with great compassion and kindness by one lad. I really needed that. If not for key individuals here at Tir, I could never have endured the many trials and pain of my own life. Many times I was rescued by someone at Tir when they did not even know how my humour was because I was in unbearable pain. I needed an audience, if only wun!

A special thanks to the Innkeeper because he has created a portal of light that vibrates with higher realms here at Tir na nOg. Not the physical tools themself, but rather, the gathering allowed of some of the most elect individuals here in Time. He has a very generous heart and tremendous love that reaches all who enter Tir na nOg.

Thank you for letting me be a timeless guest at Tir. ~*~

*sends a spiritual big hug to a very special young lady* The afterlife aside, perhaps we can all send you some positive thoughts that will help you out in this one :) Keep you chin up, the Tir is family too, and you're important to us.

I still like Laurelrose.........worth the return visit to hear once more the impassioned and heartfelt desolation from the Goldie Locks of Tir!

Chin up toots

is now happy, thankyou everyone.... and thankyou chocolate

CHOCOLATE??? C-H-O-C-O-L-A-T-T-E'??? *Replacing IV's in LR's veins with Hershey's chocolate syrup and opening up drip full force*

Now there is a chocolate R-U-S-H for every woman. *Wiping chocolate drools off of LR's face*

You know...I have not had a bit of chocolate for 5 weeks now, and I am a (((((VERY HAPPY CAMPER!!!!))))) *Forced constipated smile as severe PMS (Pretty Mean Streak) sets in*

I know I left the EX-LAX Brownies stashed somewhere near the pot. *Extremely agitated frustration setting in*

LR?

You didn't! (Did you?)

You wouldn't!!! (Would you?)

Well...glad you are doing better now.

TOO-THE-LOO! (Got the runs? Run fast!)

~MM~

I'd send chocolate, but it would probably melt before it made it from here to there :) Glad to know you're feeling better.

LaurelRose, I hope things turn out well. You have someONE who is concerned about you. I still weep. Please do not feel guilty about my advice to you but try to listen to what your parents are trying to tell you. If you consider them to had been good parents all your life so far and parents who truly love you, then by all means know that they are looking out for your good. Feel blessed to have them. I lost my parents at an early age. Whether times are good or a bit trying, having a parent and/or parents here on earth can really make a difference. Even when others turn their back on you on this earth for reason or not, know that your parents who have invested so much in you are there for you. Please don't be angry, but they want the best for you. Allow yourself time to see that. Who knows, maybe it is time for you to be on your own, but do not allow anyone or anything to get in the way of your relationship with them. That way if they are ever gone, either mentally or physically in your life, you can feel that you enjoyed your life with them here on this earth, and that you did the best that you could. Also, so called friends and maybe family members may turn away from you and break promises, but having loving and caring parents can surpass all the pain you might encounter if you experience negativity from people who you thought cared. Try to look at what they are saying from a different perspective and see if you begin to view life in a new way. Hopefully they will begin to listen to what you have to say if they see a positive change in you. God Blessed you parents. God bless you in Jesus name.

14 months unemployeed and almost counting......


I have a jo'ob i have a jo'ob... hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehhehe *gasp* heheheheheheherhehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehheehe.


LR

right general notice of moving.. I am moving to New Zealand on the 30th of September.... will be getting alternative transportation to LA but otherwise....

I'M GOING HOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooome

*jumps up and down on tippy toes with excitement for LR's news.....BIGGEST HUG!!!!* W E L C O M E hooooooooooooooooooommmme Laurelrose!!!

Y'can take the girl outta New Zealand, but you can't take New Zealand outta the gal!!!

Haere Mai Laurelrose, haere mai!

even if you tried to take New Zealand out of the girl, the girl would hurt and hurt and hurt. cause NZ is a Huge country.

How do you fit it all in there anyways..

grin

LR

Bye :( don't forget to write. Say hello to the hobbits for me :)

LR I'm sure you know who

The Tower Revisited

On yonder hill the Tower stands all grey and foreboding
The ground barren the silence complete
No sound of laughter or children’s feet
The sky is broken with silent streaks
The circle of silence shattered
By the booming of the storm
Rain pelts the hill drenching Tower and land
The grey in rivulets runs down the sides
Revealing the deepest azure blue
As grass and roses burst forth from the ground
The tower former monument to pain
Stands as a testament of love for you