THE PRINCESS AND THE FROG ----AN UPLIFTING STORY FOR Wenches EVERYWHERE.............

Once upon a time, a beautiful, independent, self-assured princess happened upon a frog in a pond. The frog said to the princess "I was once a handsome prince until an evil witch put a spell on me. One kiss from you and I will turn back into a prince and then we can marry, move into the castle with my mom, and you can prepare my meals, clean my clothes, bear my children and forever feel happy doing so."

That night as the princess dined on frog legs in garlic butter, she
laughed to herself and thought, "I don't f***ing think so."

*applaudes*

Alright, that's it!!!!! I will no longer have anything liquid anywhere near me when I'm in Tir...*my poor screen!!!*

*Trying to solve wench of fortune puzzle here without VannaWunWench to spin the wheel...*

Let's see... F***ing.

Hmmm...*thinking very hard*

F-a-i-l-ing, F-a-l-l-ing, F-a-r-m-ing,
F-a-r-t-ing...could be if it were a toad *stepping on toad slang for that nice noise*, maybe that's why he lost his legs?

F-a-s-t-ing, F-e-a-r-ing, F-e-e-d-ing,
F-e-e-l-ing...no feeling left in those legs now!

F-e-n-d-ing, F-e-u-d-ing, F-i-n-d-ing, F-i-r-m-ing, F-i-s-h-ing! That makes some sense...probably stole someone's personal Mackerel at Tir and it cost him his legs.

F-l-o-w-ing, F-l-e-e-ing...this frog sure didn't flee quick enough. He he he!

F-o-o-l-ing, F-o-o-t-ing...he certainly lost his footing!

Oh dang! I don't know...I give up! What is the answer? F***ing frog anyway! Oh, just pass me the frog legs and let me SLATHER on the garlic butter!!! *WEG*

*faces scrunches up into a prune*

VannaWunWench?

*stares dreamily at ceiling fan, hmmm... may mean a whole new wardrobe.... *

*nods in approval... *

VANNA-Wun-WENCH it is then!

just two words

GO WENCHES!!!!!WOOHOOO!!!! ya ya ya...

Could we have more Wench lore, please? I want to know what happened after dinner. Are there frogs running around with crutches or something like that? And handsome princes disguised as frogs or is Prince Horny Toad just trying to fool the good Wenchy? And to VANNA-WUN-WENCH...I love your comments! Who is this guest that writes the Wench lore???? Smack me with a Mackeral, I don't know! *Practicing cheeky grin* Aw...I just ain't wench material...keep it up! It's always fun to watch the Wenches in action! *G*

I'll tell you my name if you tell me yours
*Big *F*****g Cheeky Grin*

Okay Mstree.... since you asked so nicely and flattery will get you anywhere.....

Ahem...

MORE WENCH LORE

Wenches believe that computers should be referred to in the masculine gender because:
1. In order to get their attention,
you have to turn them on.

2. They have a lot of data,
but are still clueless.

3. As soon as you commit to one,
very quickly you realize, you should have waited for a better model...


Frog Legs anyone?

*cws*

*Grinning at Wench lore* Hehehe...you just made my day and you did't even need Dirty Harry! *Lavishing on more praise and flattery* What's next? Stay tuned for 'Tales of the LOVEWORN' at Wench Lore...

If the guest isn't Wun or Shannon in disguise, someone has some serious explaining to do.

Colleen what's up?.. why all the story's are in fun and if you don't like them ignore them.. after all this is a free net and feedom of speach and expression is covered under the constitution... goll lighten up

I think, Laurelrose, that you have the wrong end of the stick.
Colleen is a fully-paid-lightened-up member of the human race.

I didn't read her comment as any sort of complaint. It was entirely in the humour of the guest.

*sigh* Lighten up *sigh*


On a point of order, 'the constitution' is what I make it, as opposed to any other 'the constitution' that someone might have happened to leave lying around.

My constitution is ,of course, much more enlightened than any other - but then, on a bad day, I can be nasty (I suppose)

Acc is the only one who REALLY understands me.

*swoon*

However, I'm pretty sure that use of the term wench, or any of our likenesses is trademark and copyright infringement.

So cough up some cash or knock it off.

That whole law degree thing sure does come in handy, don't it?

*wide-eyed* ... Well, if it ain't you, and it ain't tSi... and it ain't me, Weenie, then who is it?
*perturbed and moderately pi**ed also*

*agrees that the wench name and anything connected to it can not be tossed around like a bad box of cookies (excuse the bad analogy, me brain can no longer think). The wenches are an elite group of woman who have earned their names and positions by long years of Tir-dom and Tir-faithfulness.*

Elite?

Us?

*roflmao*

Stop it, Erin. It hurts when I laugh that hard.

(but you're a complete sweetie, babe *hugs*)

*elbows Weenie in the ribs..*

Hey, I'll take the compliment....*foofs hair* ...yes, Elite.. I rather like that. Goes well with my hair and nails!

*smuggly smiling... repeating..* Yes, many,
l- o - n - g years

*whispers to C, Erin deserves a raise don't you think.... ?*

*whispers back: When did we start paying her?*

*passes through, marvels at all the hair foofing, tells the hamster to start hawking the stolen bar-b-qued frog legs and lightly lifts Erin's box of bad cookies....*

Jaysus, Mary & Joseph !! The blasphemy here is enough to turn a man's ..... well use your imagination. What's with all the Prince, Frog & Horny Toad bashing? Most Princes are fairly romantic kinda hip dudes, Kermit the frog would do anything for that fat pig, and horny toads are just plain fun to play with !! I think ya'll should subscribe to the Tir Hopeless Romantics Club and learn poetry, cooking, housecleaning and sex. *LMAO*

... with a Clint Eastwood squint peering from underneath the wide brim hat... Wench #3 sharpens the axe...eyes never leaving the mark


"Hopeless, huh?"

The wenches don't do Male Bashing.

And we certainly don't join clubs that have anything to do with cooking or housekeeping or hopeless romantic feelings about amphibians.

But I think we might be willing to take up guest bashing as a hobby.

Does this mean I can't wear the hat and I gotta turn the axe back into props?

Oh S-n-a-r-k!!!

Naw, the hat looks fabulous on ya, babe.

And an axe always comes in handy.

Well none of ya have ever done anything to show your Wenches. Chronic complainers yes, wenches not ! And who are these 3 wenches supposed to be? Perhaps A good man like myself could teach ya'll something about men and women, love and life? If not then maybe a gag or 3 would do. *LMAO*

!#$%%^(^($&@&$&(%$^^))#*&&#$)(%&@$

*gritted teeth*

Are you SURE no bashing... C?

Hey, perhaps a good man could ..., and then again perhaps not.
Do you know any good gags?

You mean like...... "Gag me with a spoon?"

I'm thinking a "good man" wouldn't hide behind a guest handle.

But maybe that's just me...

*Wench #3 steps up with an astute observation..*

"Hmmmm.... acutally, I am inclined to agree with you C, bashing is sooooo... inappropriate. I rather think... "field dressing" this frog is much more appropos....

3 wenches, 3 girls, 3 devils in one.
3 gals who'll do anything just for fun.
Chronic complainers that everyone loves.
They're all from Satan or Heaven above.
A prince, a frog, a horny toad too
Can be your dinner or dessert thats true
But girls should be soft, smarter and sweet
And move us to greatness or a dumb beet.
NOW LIGHTEN UP MY PRETTIES !!!

*Stumbles from kitchen with pan of hot grease.*
"Just finished frying some Cajun southern fried frog legs, ya'll. Now I have to get rid of this here grease."
*Pours it out the window and hears some awful screaming an wailing.*
???? *Looks out window at pained expression on guest's face.*
Are you seranading me, sir? Oh how nice. *S*

ROFLMAO.........God, I love this Place! *winks at Lady Q*

*holds up judges scorecard*


9.9875

You rock, Quill.

A big ole gold star for you.

Well, well Lady Quill. Cooking Frogs Legs? In all our conversations I never realized you were such a gourmet person. And now you have a fan club too. Ain't that something! Was something said to offend you? I sense a little hostility in that post. Now what can I do ladies to get a better score than 9.9875 ? I know some of you may suggest suicide but I'm thinking of something friendlier.
*
The Lady Quill went up the hill,
Some frogs she meant to fry.
Upon the summit she let out a shrill
and realized her heads in the sky.
But Colleen and Guest giving Quill their best
decided she's not worth more than I.
*
Pick a pack of fire crackers,
Shish Boom Bah
Guest 1, Quill 0.
Rah, Rah, Rah !!
Yeah Team !
Way to go My Pretties !!

Remember ladies, the frog ain't worth diddly. It's the Prince thats cool !

Your pardon, guest, I do beg
as I bow and turn my pretty leg
we've met afore, you say?
au contraire, but nay,
unless, twas that sunny day
we had a roll n' the hay.
I remember well
dar'st I tell?
but do not blush
I will keep hush,
and quiet aside
your manhood and pride
ne'er more than a wink
and a tickle of pink
is what you love most
about which you boast.

oh!!!

She is like.... soooooooo GOOD~~~~

Okay, Frog, legs, prince.. whatever

You are done.. you have seen "The Days Last Light"

Good nite and sleep well... and stop with the MCP act.. okay?


*cws*

*curtsies to Accasbel* Well meet sir!
T'will be a grrrrand Paddy Day! Thank you and I will be sure to put you in a place of prominence in next story. *S*

*tears streaming down her wenchly cheeks...*
Oh My God..........this is toooooooooooooo funny!

Sheesh!


*ahem, straightens herself and regains her wenchliness....*

..."Those who make peaceful resolution impossible, make violent resolution inevitable"..

....damn, wish I'd said that...

hehehe....

for the wenches the woman the men the guests and the wine
I give thanks...
For everything else I know i am blessed.... or is that cursed... with liking for it... (gives Quill hugs) loves it hon.

ROOBA!

*violence is only enevitable when hope is abandoned.*

now i did say that

*pouts...and wunda's when the sprite will toast all Tir wenches....*

*sits and takes a deep sigh*
Concede I do to the wenches of Tir.
But only because this appears to be getting too personal.

( Note from Accasbel - "Amen !" )

But enough is enough and I don't want any escalation, I don't give or take humiliation very well. My humble apologies to anyone I may have insulted. Au Revoir !

*shrugs* yeah whatever........

Continuing the frog theme *s*

A lonely frog telephoned the Psychic Hotline and asked what his future holds.
His Personal Psychic Advisor tells him: "You are going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you."
The frog is thrilled, "This is great!
"Will I meet her at a party?" he croaks.
"No," says the psychic, "in biology class."

*grins*

*posts sign over door to Wench Lore Area*

"Please excuse the temporary absences of The WenchkaTirs.... we, ummm, they are away on a short holiday..."

*wonder if I shoulda mentioned the part about, getting a manicure, wax and working on the tan lines.... hmmmm*

A Frog Support Group... puh lease!


*rolls eyes and stomps out the door for a day of "Retail Therapy".....*

*mischievous grin*

Ha ha ha... made you look ~

*stands with grenedes, 2 army tanks, and AK47 and nite goggles*.....

*thru gritted teeth*...

"Okay, housekeeping... DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT CLEANING THIS PART OF THE BOARD... or you're a dead frog!"

*click, click... aims carefully, at the first sign of someone pressing the DELETE key*

*raises head head up from scope and smiles, as if posing...*
Oh yeah, did I mention I was wearing the new Perry Ellis designer camoflauge line. *s*