The following story is dedicated to my new friend, Ciaran. To visit with him at Tir stirred many feelings as we discussed his Viking heritage. Ciaran, may you enjoy the story that you have inspired. ~Mstree~

"The Winds of War Blow...in an unpredictable way."

The ship stood almost ready to embark as he stood looking in her eyes. Her tears streamed freely as they held each other for the last time before his departure with his father to embark on trade in the adjoining lands. It was his first voyage as a man and it mattered not that part of him would remain in his native Finland with her. She was beautiful to behold but he must hide the pain he felt inside at having to leave her side.

He stood six foot tall, one hundred sixty pounds of solid muscle with the proud, regal bearing of his forefathers. With midnight black hair and beard he could easily intimidate anyone who crossed his path, yet to look into his green eyes one saw a haunting gentleness and tender heart hidden there.

He kissed her long and hard one more time, choking back his own salty tears. She had been his friend forever it seemed. Nothing felt more natural than having her with him and he had not even thought of another woman in his arms.

He wore the torc, or neck ring she had given him as a protection to him and symbolic of their love and loyalty to one another. It had been her father's and had been passed down many generations. She was the only heir when her father had been killed in a battle at sea and this was her hope of bringing honor to her father.

He felt the two open ends that were ornamented with animal heads. The sky began to darken as clouds rapidly closed in. He remembered the recurring dream she had told him of where he was swallowed up by the sea. He had laughingly dismissed it as an idle fear on her part and wanting to keep him home longer. A feeling of unease and chills went through his body as he walked onto the ship.

The groaning and creaking of the timbers was heard as the crew set about their tasks in launching this great ship on the pursuit of wealth and trade. It seemed nothing out of the ordinary for these weathered men as the winds rose and waves crashed against the sides of the ship as they continued on their way. Still he had an uneasy feeling.

He reached down and felt the sword at his side but it gave him no comfort. There was always the threat of marauding ships at sea and he had been trained well in self-defense measures. The real threat was not from any man, but from the sea itself. The weather grew more terse and tempers flared. He heard the profanities escape those who tried to hide their fears.

He bowed his head and uttered a silent prayer in his heart, "Dear God, creator of all things, please spare my life that I may return again to my beloved." He was jolted back to present time as he saw his father's consternation as the hull of the ship split open in one sickening crack.

The once brave men screamed as they realized their doom. He lunged at his father and pulled him back. His father was dazed...still in shock and not able to think for himself. He threw his arms around his father as they were swept into the cold, black sea. He felt himself sinking but still he clung to the now lifeless form of his father.

His lungs burned...he felt ready to explode from the pressure. The colors and flashes he saw reminded him that he was losing full consciousness. The water came into his lungs and the two forms sunk easily to the bottom in the dark sea. But then he felt a warmth, a peace as he looked into the eyes of his father. He stood beside another who was very familiar to him. "Who was this man and why do I feel as though I know him?" he thought. There was no need for physical speech. His thoughts and intent were immediately understood as they conversed in spirit.

The familiar man laid his hands upon his head and invoked this blessing, "By the power of thy faith and prayer thy life shall be restored to ye that ye may fulfill all that ye have promised to do as a noble and valiant son of our Father and creator of all things. Ye shall yet live to the ripe age of a tree and see many branches, sons and daughters, born through this chosen lineage to come forth in the fulness of times to restore the order that once was known in the heavens. For, for the hearts of the father's shall be turned to the hearts of the children and the hearts of the children shall be turned to the hearts of the fathers."

Many more blessings were promised upon he and his lineage. Then his own father embraced him and the great love went through his entire being. He knew that it was his father's desire to go on to a higher realm and to prepare his posterity for their time upon the earth.
~~~

He choked and gasped as he fought for consciousness. He was trying to remember where he was and what had happened. As his breathing returned to normal he saw that he was upon a piece of his father's ship that had been broken asunder by the great deep. The sky was now clear and the sun beat down upon him mercilessly. He felt the torc still about his neck.

How long had he been here? What had happened to the others? Debris floated around him and he saw one lone flask afloat beside him. His throat still burned and his mouth felt dry and parched. He grabbed for the flask and it bobbed a short distance from him. He tried again to reach the life-giving receptacle of blessing. It remained out of his reach.

He was too tired to move but focused his thought upon the flask. It moved towards him. He was at first startled and it stopped. He focused again upon bringing the flask to him and it obeyed. He reached out easily and picked it up. How sweet and cooling the clear liquid felt on his parched throat. He bowed his head and thanked the creator for allowing him to live.

He slipped into unconsciousness again and was met by a beautiful woman. He recognized her and embraced her. She smelled of fresh flowers and radiated the brightest light and love that he had ever known. He was full of questions but he knew she was there to protect him and help him through his ordeal in the flesh.

She told him that she would be born one day in the fulness of times to complete the work that he was meant to do in other lands so as to allow the blessing he had been given to be fulfilled. He had the understanding that the storm had a divine purpose and had blown their ship off course. He questioned why so many had died rather than live as he had.

Her love and strength was felt as the understanding came into his heart. They were happy and fulfilled where they now were. They had things to learn and prepare for that could not be accomplished in mortality. He was to accept their choice to remain and to honor his petition to be allowed to live and return to his beloved.

Many more things they did discuss and she promised him that soon he would be found and it would take his life in a new direction. There was one there that he needed to meet. She was a key part of his life and would be a great blessing to him. The peace distilled upon him and he felt a welcome coolness.
~~~

He awoke in the darkness. The moon shone fully and it's reflection danced upon the water. He looked at the stars above and felt his own father's love of the sea as his family had been sailors for many generations. He wondered that he could feel as comfortable as he now felt. "Was this only some bad dream he was having?" he wondered to himself. Then he heard a soft and clear voice singing to him...

Every one upon this earth...
will discover a new birth.
Where we truly see,
who we truly are,
Our strengths, our power
to end all war.
Everyone upon this earth...
will discover their new birth.

He felt himself drawn to her again as she beckoned him. He felt her love and listened as she sang to him. He forgot his pain, he forgot his cares. He would not remember at first the things that were happening to him while he slept.
~~~

He awoke to the stirrings of someone lifting him into a small boat. He felt confused..."Where was he? Who was lifting him? Why did he ache so badly as his head pounded and his chest burned?" Then he smelled the faint fragrance of flowers and saw a radiant and beautiful smile as she spread the sweet balm upon his burning flesh.

"What angel of mercy are you?" he croaked in a raspy voice. She only smiled again and continued to work her magic of healing upon his badly burned and beaten body. His face was swollen almost past recognition. His body was a bluish color and she massaged deeply to get the blood coursing through him again. It felt painful, yet she did it in a soothing manner.

Finally she spoke. "You have been out here in the full elements for at least ten days. It is the will of God that we found you and that you are yet alive!" She watched him trying again to speak. He quieted immediately as he heard her voice within him. "Please do not try to speak...I already know you and why you are here. No one else is to know this but us. We have much to talk about when we are alone."

He looked in her eyes...they were filled with a deep love and compassion for him. And then he noticed their color...GREEN! Not just any green but a changing green with shifts of color that danced with her feelings. Right now they were a beautiful teal green and seemed to soothe and heal. He relaxed and said nothing outwardly but they continued to converse.

"Who are you? Why are you so familiar to me? How do you know me?" The questions came rapidly and she answered before he had a chance to finish completing his thoughts.

"I am known here as Helena...one of light and knowledge. I am using vibrational frequencies of light to heal your body and restore it's wholeness." He felt her hands upon him but then realized that they had never touched his swollen and burned body. He marvelled at her strength and beauty. Then he felt the torc around his neck and his heart wrenched deeply at the longing he had to be with his beloved again.

She knew his desires and touched his heart with her hand and the pain was quieted. She went on to explain, "It is not yet the time to show you light travel. You must be patient and know that she is well and has other interests at this time. She has forgotten you as she received word that your father's ship was destroyed and no one survived. She has buried her true feelings deeply and appears to be handling life well."

The understanding flooded his heart as she touched him. He continued to question and she answered his every thought. He still did not remember anything that had happened since sinking in the deep with his father. He felt himself relaxing again into the deep sleep he welcomed.
~~~

He awoke in a bed of fresh white linens and warm, comforting bedding. "Where was she? How did she know the things she knew? How was it he could hear her speak within him?" The door pushed open and she walked in with a cup of hot broth for him to drink. She seemed always to appear when he was thinking of her.

He did not feel sore as before but his body was still stiff from lack of physical movement. She helped him sit up to drink his broth then she started to speak to him. "You want to know about me, don't you?" He looked at her directly and wondered if he even needed to speak aloud to her.

Her laughter broke the stillness as she hugged him. "What did you mean by 'light travel'?" he questioned. She thought for a moment then became serious again as she looked at him.

"I need to first tell you who you are with and where we are going. We are a ship of the Scandinavian empire of the North Sea under the rule of King Canute II. We are bound for Dublin and other ports of trade in Ireland. Ours is a peaceful vessel and we have many of our family scattered abroad whom we gather with and share tales of our homeland with."

He looked at her again in disbelief. "How did you find me? We had just set out of Finland not many days upon the sea when my father's ship broke up and all were lost but me." His hair on his neck stood up as she related the following to him.

"The winds of war blow...in an unpredictable way. We had just set out from Sweden and southbound in the Baltic Sea when I had the feeling that we should turn north. I knew that no one would believe me if I told them that their lives would be lost if we did not change direction, so I went on a higher level...the light level...to our captain as he slept and conversed with him. I showed him what awaited us if we continued on our original course."

"But, I don't understand...how did you know about the danger? And how did the captain hear you if he was asleep? He sat bewildered and perplexed at her explanation.

"We had plans of sailing to Denmark and while visiting there gathering supplies to carry us further onto Dublin. My family is from Denmark but many have intermarried with the other Scandinavian countries and the blood is becoming mixed in the sense that there are no boundaries on family relationships. Don't try to understand yet the light travel...instead, try to understand the fact that the captain changed direction and we were spared the ill fate your vessel experienced.

He could see in his mind the understanding coming to him as he saw their ship sailing instead into the opening of the Gulf of Bothnia towards Ahvenanmaa (Aland) and stopping there during the sudden turn in weather. He marvelled even more as he saw them leaving several days later and heading south where his father's ship had been blown off course into the Baltic Sea and their vessel coming upon him and the debris floating in the sea.

"But how did you know?" he asked. "How did you know what would happen and then find me?"

She sighed and looked into his eyes as she spoke, "Light travel, my beloved friend..." They both grew silent and pondered the feeling between them. Then he fell asleep again.
~~~

Beautiful MsTree.... just plain beautiful....Thank you*the sweetest smile*......*a huge hug*

i like it.. it's wondrusfulz

Ahhh...sanks guyz! *hangs head in shy way* Can't help but be special with Ciaran as main character!
At least I know I have two fans who read what I write. *S*

make that 3 mstree...i love it.....*s*

*sigh*... okay, four

~~~
He looked about and was startled to see a form lying beneath his vantage point where he now hovered effortlessly. It looked dark and lifeless to him. Then he saw her sitting beside the form in the bed below and sweetly smiling. She was listening to his thoughts again. He saw her surrounded and enveloped in light and he watched it project out and surround his lifeless body.

"What are you doing?" he asked. His speech was not a vocal speech but the language of the spirit he had already experienced with her while on a conscious level in his body. "Have I died?"

He watched a form separate from her body and come towards him. It was not as brilliant and full as he had observed when completed with her physical self. She was with him here yet she remained on a fully aware and alert level of consciousness while in her body.

"No, you are not dead!" she laughed and the light danced about her. He was still watching her below and trying to understand how she could be there with him, too. She grinned mischievously at him. "You have so much to learn...look there." His gaze followed her directive and he became aware of a silvery cord of light that ran from their bodies to where they now were.

"I don't understand," he hesitated then went on. "That must be me lying in the bed with you sitting there, but yet we are here. How can that be?"

"You still have the veil of forgetfulness over your mind, my beloved brother! You and I have always existed forever. We are fortunate to have the opportunity of experiencing life in mortality and obtaining our physical body. What did you observe about me before I projected to you?" she asked.

"I saw the most beautiful light radiating from you...it was glorious. But now it seems to have fragmented and a portion is with me. Is this so?"

She smiled again and explained, "There is a fullness when the body and spirit are joined that can not be experienced any other way. This is a necessary part of our progression in eternity. We chose to experience these things and to gain even greater light and knowledge that is not possible without the flesh."

She continued, "Every soul born has these gifts of the spirit locked within them but they must choose to overcome the ways of the flesh in order to enable them to unlock these higher senses."

He felt a change as the fear and doubt left his heart. He felt light entering his being and he understood. It was a remembering of things he had always known. She did not have to explain further to him. He understood that all things were created with faith and that fear locks the power of faith within the heart where it can not be used.

He discerned times in his life when he had done things out of fear rather than faith. If one fears God and does things out of fear, they never experience the fulness of his love and the understanding of the light. But when they exhibit even a portion of faith, or trust in higher powers, the light enters their soul and they receive the understanding as well as the knowledge.

He now understood that knowledge alone was useless. One needed the power of the spirit, or their higher senses, to fully understand the knowledge gained upon earth. He marveled at this absolute truth...his heart burned in confirmation of what he was now experiencing. It was something that one could not give another or explain to another in the flesh. It was something only they could choose to experience.

She looked into his eyes when she saw the understanding flood over him. "Now you will be taught about light travel! I will remain here but there is someone who loves you dearly and has a sacred charge of your life and was always at your side attending you until I found you upon the sea. She will show you things that you need to know concerning your life and fulfilling your purpose in the flesh."

With that thought she was immediately fully integrated in the aura of her physical body. He smelled the fragrance again that was very familiar to him. It was the smell of fresh flowers. He felt the same warmth and love that he had experienced when she had come to him while in the sea. Her light was brilliant...more so than the sun itself, yet it did not hurt his eyes to look upon her.

"Jani..." she beckoned. "Jani, please come with me." He knew he had the power of choice. He could refuse to accompany her yet he felt drawn and trusted her completely.

"How do you know my name?" he asked her. "I did not even tell Helena my name. How do you know my name? He entreated her for an answer. She paused a moment before answering. She was asking permission of those higher to reveal this to him.

"Jani, your earth name is a name given that carries every frequency you need to be a guide to your heart in fulfilling your purpose. Before your birth you were known in the heavens as Jzhaun Lau Jesu, or Father of the gathering. You carry within every part of your physical being a complete memory of eternity. You have the abililty to know all things past, present and to come in time as it is now known upon earth."

He felt a tremendous vibration within as the truth of her words reverberated within him. He recognized this as a witness to all truth...something that would never be able to be counterfeited by the dark forces. This was an essential part of his understanding so as not to be deceived while in the flesh by the cunning ways and flattery of the physical realm.

"But who are you?" he asked. "Why do I feel like I already know you? Are you someone I know on earth?" He studied her intently now, trying to remember where he knew her from.

"I can not reveal that to you," she replied. "All I can tell you is that I am not yet born but the gifts will be passed through your seed from grandmother to grand daughter. A woman will bear a son and a daughter of the son will be born who will have the giftings of her grandmother passed on to another generation. This will continue on for many generations."

He thought a moment, then remembered Helena. "Does she have the giftings you speak of?" he asked.

"Yes...she already knows that her line is of the line of King Harold and will carry on in many nations upon the earth. You will have to discern with your heart her purpose with you, Jzhaun Lau. Your heart will be sorely tested and your faith tried many times. But this is all for a very wise purpose in our Father and His divine plan."

He felt a familiar feeling with her words and his heart felt the longing of his beloved Kirsi, whom he had left behind in Finland. "How will I ever find her again?" he asked. How can I be with my beloved...the one I have always longed to be with?"

"I must go now and report...there is another who will assist you and teach you fully of the light travel. Your questions and longings will be answered in His time...be patient and endure every trial well. I love you so fully, so completely and am always here when you need my light and love!"

She was instantly taken from his presence and another stood to greet him. He stood tall and regal in his bearing, his light and love as hers had been. Jani studied him as he, too, was familiar to him. "Do I know you?" he asked. "You are so like she is...you resemble her!"

The one of light laughed delightedly at this observation. His light was bouncing everywhere, a very happy and joyful mirth about him. "It is a good thing you do not know who you just visited with," he joked. "You must remember this about her...she can be amusingly illogical, even offensive, ludicrous and illogical but don't ever get involved in the illogicality debate with her. She will have a comeback for anything you may try to say to her!"

Jani watched in amusement and could not help wonder what his visitor would say next. "You watch, Jani...it will not be the Irish who are illogical, but this woman!" He was chortling at the thoughts of what was ahead for the mortals who encountered his sister when she would live upon the earth. He continued, "So, illogically agreed, all that remains to be settled is the degree of the same."

Jani did not understand but smiled at his visitor before asking, "Can I ask who you are and why you are here with me?" The mirth dimmed and he thought a moment before speaking.

"Jani, I am only able to tell you that my name means 'Brightness of our Father'. There is laughter and joy and mirth in the heavens and this needs to carry forth to mortality that men will find joy in all that they do. My sister will delight many with her honesty and straightforwardness." He laughed again at the thought of what was ahead for those on earth when his sister arrived.

"And why are you here now?" Jani questioned again.

"Oh, yes...I am to teach you 'light travel' and I guess I needed to lighten things up a bit here first!" They both laughed at his joke.

Jani felt a tug at his heart again and thought of his beloved Kirsi. He was now in a darkened room with his visitor looking upon the sleeping form of a woman below. "She is so beautiful!" Jani gasped. "I never really saw and knew how truly beautiful this woman I love and know is in the flesh!" His visitor allowed him to absorb the understanding that was coming to Jani.

"Look closely and see why she is more radiant and beautiful than before." he instructed. "What do you see?"

Jani looked then saw within the woman his child...his seed...the life he had created with his beloved. "But, I have been gone...how can this be and how do I know it is my seed?" He gazed in awe at the meaning of giving one life. His heart opened again and he recalled the last night they had been together before his departure.

"Oh...my God! It is true! It is true! And it is my firstborn son...oh God! I am so happy...such rapture fills my heart!" His exclamations of joy were a praising to his father for having been shown this vision of his beloved and his unborn son. "Can I hold her? Can I speak to her? Can I tell her that I am fine and how much I love her?"

The tall visitor waited before answering Jani. "You may on a higher level only...not where she physically feels you with her and hears your voice. She would not understand and it would create confusion and havoc to the things that are a part of the divine plan. You must not interfere with her agency. It is never allowed."

There was no sign of the mirth now but a totally serious demeanor about the visitor as he impressed upon Jani the intent of his words. Jani's heart stirred and he watched his light envelope his beloved and unborn son as they slept.

They would not remember him on a conscious level, but her heart would be comforted with the words he now spoke to her, "Kirsi, my beloved, heart of my heart...how I do long for thee. But it is not yet the time for us to be one. You must honor every promise to our Father and know that we will be together forever in eternity."


~~~
Jani awoke with a start and was back in his body again. He was looking up and he remembered being with Kirsi. Tears were now streaming down his cheeks and he felt a cool, soft hand touch his cheek. He looked over and saw Helena smiling at him. "You knew this, didn't you? What is my name, Helena? Tell me my full, given birth name."

"That is easy," she replied. "Your full birth name is Jani Kristian Koski." She saw a look of amazement at first upon his face, then it softened into a knowing smile. The burning in his heart confirmed the truth of all that he had experienced on a higher level.

"How will I see her again? When will I see her, Helena? My heart longs so deeply for her...as if she is my other half and together we are one." The tears continued to drop. He heard Helena singing a beautiful song and it comforted his heart.


What is a moment without you?
An eternity, forever gone...
Complete emptiness.
And eternity, forever gone...

While thoughts of you
still warm my heart,
A single tear trickles...then it drops.
Do you hear it now?

The hush, hush glow
that warms my soul.
A single tear trickles...then it drops.
Do you hear it now?

That lonely ache is there,
because I miss your love.
That lonely ache is there,
because I miss your love!

A mixture of emotions
swirling 'round.
The tenderness of love wells up
leaving cloudy eyes.

What is a moment without you?
So much more than simple goodbyes,
An ETERNITY forever gone...
forever gone...


She already knew his heart...Helena already understood his pain and was there at his side to help him endure the trials ahead. "Jani, soon you will be up and about. You have missed much of our journey already. When we arrive in Dublin you will meet people there that I know. I have many friends, yet they do not know the things about me that you do. Will you keep my trusts sacred?"

She looked imploringly into his eyes. He felt the burning again. He knew he was here to protect this woman and to stay at her side. The deep burning in his heart continued. "Yes...he whispered softly. Yes, I will never violate my trusts with you, Helena." She heard his answer aloud as well as within. Their souls had twined for a divine purpose.
~~~

Your fan list is growing...*eagerly awaits the next installment*

*A deep curtsey* I humbly thank you Lostsoul! I thought maybe you would enjoy wiping a Tir or two rather than spitting and having to wipe your computer off all the time.*LOL*
And I thank Ciaran whose words grew into the title and his allowing me to write a story about him. I have now a song composed to go with the story. Ciaran, you are such an inspiration to me!

I really don´t deserve all this *blush* a HUGE hug for you Mstree*HHHUUUUGGG*

Lovely tale of long ago.

mstree, that is beautiful! can't wait for more. you have a wonderful gift with words. i'm glad we tir folks have you here.

First of all, my deepest gratitude to Accasbel who makes this possible for me! *G* It is very fulfilling to me.

And thank you for such kind words and encouragement! Ciaran, you can stop blushing now and the hug was very welcome. *Hugz back!* This has been very healing to my soul.

Mama and Tatyana, I hope to meet you soon at Tir and visit with you. I write from my heart...and draw upon the many trials and tests of my life as well as researching a chosen subject. I am working on more, I promise!

The hardest trial of all is the near death experience and one learns many things that are not seen in this realm. Thank you again and stay tuned for more of Jani Kristian Koski's experiences in "The Winds of War Blow..."
~~~

Ciaran...your e-mail link is not working. Could you please send me a current addy?

~~~
Jani was deep in thought. He had not even noticed Helena leaving his side. He was thinking now of the words she had just sang to him. "What was there about her voice and the words and the simple melody she sang that had comforted his heart?" He wondered to himself at the immediate change he felt as she began to sing her song. A deep, vibration started again through his whole body as he remembered the music.

He smelled the fragrance of fresh flowers and knew the higher one was beside him again. He wanted to see her while on a conscious level of awareness and to know that he was not simply dreaming. "Jani," he heard her speak his name clearly within. "Jani, you must listen and see with your heart!" He felt her warmth and love and became aware of the room growing lighter as the pastel colors danced around the room.

She sat at the foot of his bed and smiled as she waited for his reply. He did not speak aloud. The thoughts came easily and he marveled once again at her radiant light and beauty. "What is it about the music that Helena sang to me that healed my heart? I want to understand...as well as know."

Helena walked into the room again. She smiled as she saw who sat at the end of the bed. She looked into Jani's eyes and asked, "Will you allow me to show you some things first on a physical level that will open the twelve strands of cell memory to full component and working?"

He nodded his head yes. She was speaking aloud so as to integrate his physical self with his higher self or spirit. She wrote some very simple numbers. He looked and studied them for a moment.

"Jani, you need to solve the equation." He looked at the first line...1 + 4 + 7 and he added these in his head. Then he read the second line... divided by 6 + 6. He smiled at the answer. He understood the meaning of the number it reduced to. "Is that all there is to that?" he asked her.

Helena was amused at his eagerness to learn and waited a moment then went on to further instruct him. "Now take the middle three fingers of your right hand and tap your chest above your heart three times..." she paused and waited a moment before going on. "Now say within, 'I am in the clear...I am fully integrated...I am in present time now...then tap three times again."

He looked back at her feeling somewhat foolish and wondering if it was a joke. He immediately felt the burning in his heart and knew she was not joking. He tapped his chest three more times. He began to smile. His head felt clear and balanced. The thought 'whole' came to his mind.

"Jani, now say 'I accept all truth and light and knowledge'." He followed her directive and tapped three times again. He could see more light and his understanding opened. He still had many questions.

"Helena, why did you have to teach me these things? Why did we do it as a physical function rather than on a higher or spirit level?" He waited for her answer.
She was grinning at him again, amused at his questioning heart and his wanting to do things in an easier manner than to physically learn them.

"Because we are dealing with healing on a physical level as well as the intellectual and emotional levels. You need to understand that to truly heal, all four levels must be touched."

"What four levels?" he asked. "You mean we learn in four ways?"

"Yes," she answered. "If you wanted to stop drinking wine, you would try to stop on a physical level where you may drink water for a while. That would only temporarily fix the problem because there are deeper issues to our healing. One may physically do all that is required to stop drinking wine and may even know intellectually why they should not drink wine. But it stops on an emotional level if there are problems there to clear and deal with."

He was having a hard time following her. He understood how one could know every thing about giving up the wine and could actually stop drinking. Those were the physical and intellectual levels. "Now what about the emotional?" he asked. "What is the issue there?"

She went on to explain, "There is an emotional need for the wine...perhaps an escape from emotional pain as well as physical hurts...perhaps it makes one feel less fearful and as if they are in control of things. Jani, you have this problem. You have physically weakened your own heart by the tension you feel there. Worry, fear, and stress all eat at your body everyday. You would eventually suffer heart problems because of the link between fear, need, and aggression."

He knew she was right about him. When he started to feel out of control he wanted wine to drink. The thought came to him of the song again. When he had listened to the words, it soothed him and quieted his pain and the emotional stress of the loss he was feeling. A smile spread on his face with this understanding.

"There is such a close connection between the strength of the heart and warmheartedness; it is the very link between body and soul. You can change the negative emotions and replace them with balanced rhythm, vitality, openess, and love!" He was observing a light flooding from Helena's heart and eyes that mingled with the visitor's light and love.

"Okay, now how about the fourth thing? It must be higher than physical, intellectual, or emotional. Is it spiritual?" He felt the burning intensify in his own heart with that one question.

"Jani, I need to explain light to you. You are experiencing higher frequencies of light and you see them or you would not have seen her sitting there with us. But you still need a physical explanation to your intellect to bring it all together. Let me see if I can make it easy for you."

She started, "Light is truth, life, spirit...light is law, all things are governed by light because it is truth...light is the origin of all energy...light is something which makes vision possible, or, spiritual enlightenment...light is the opposite of darkness which is devoid of all light and therefore, truth...light is power, life, purity, and travel, or speed of light... light gathers where there are spiritual beings."

He looked again at the end of his bed where she sat. He remembered each time she left, how he felt light leaving. It was an emotional perception as well as a spiritual one...Spiritual, being attuned to light and its frequencies manifest in the eyes and ...emotional, as related to the heart. This is how he discerned and understood.

He turned his full attention to the one sitting at the end of his bed as he heard her speak, "True learning is to see and recognize truth or light. One truly learns as one accepts truth." He felt the familiar burning in his heart. "When someone is filled with light they will know how to travel at the speed of light and thought and they will know how to get back into our Creator's presence."

He heard Helena adding, "The key to getting more light is to exercise our talents, live for truth, and fulfill our earthly mission." They both smiled at this thought as she went on, "These principles and truths are learned. They are not automatically acquired by virtue of our position or conditions." He felt satisfied now with the understanding he was experiencing.

~~~
He awoke with a feeling of peace and a desire to leave the confines of his room. After washing himself and combing his hair he dressed in the clean clothes she had laid out for him. "How does she always know?" he still wondered at Helena's deep perceptions. He walked more briskly as he breathed deeply the clean sea air. He had healed completely and showed no signs of the duress his body had undergone.

He was searching, looking among the crew for her when he heard a sweet song, a sort of chanting and melodic tune that the whole crew started singing in unison with Helena. She was one of great light and love. He watched her taking water to the men as she sang with them and his heart felt as if it would burst.

He felt a deep longing manifesting as he watched her and listened to the words of her song...

Working together, we're striving together,
We're noble and loving, we'll always be true!

He listened as the song continued. The men were very happy. They honored and respected Helena as she worked among them as their equal and ministered to each one's specific needs. They seemed to bond with her in a common goal, or purpose.

He let his thoughts slip idly away for a moment and wondered what it would be like to hold her in his arms and kiss her full on her mouth. She stopped singing and looked up at him with a wondering look on her face. He dropped his eyes to avoid hers and felt like he had been caught. He tried quickly to busy himself rolling up ropes on the deck.

"What was that all about, Jani Kristian Koski?" She grinned at him with a look of mischief in her eyes. "You should ought to control your thoughts, my brother!" She laughed amicably at his lack of speech and watched as his face flushed with embarrassment.

She was teasing him! She delighted in knowing his thoughts and she stepped over to Jani and kissed him on his cheek then giggled and ran out of his reach, looking back and taunting him. He was not one to decline a challenge. He started after her and she ran giggling in and out of the crew and lines and nets strewn on the deck. She jumped behind a barrel to hide.

Jani came running up breathless, searching for Helena. The crew laughed and joined in taunting Jani as they knew Helena's charm and that it was a tantalizing teasing. His breathing was slowing as he called out for her. "Helena...come on, stop hiding and come out! What's the matter...am I too much of a man for you to handle?"

With that remark she jumped out loudly screaming like a Banshee and he about jumped out of his skin from being startled. "Helena!" he scolded her. "You need a spanking for scaring the daylights out of me!" She was laughing hysterically now at the thoughts of having shown him he was too much of a man for her to handle.

He grabbed her as if he were going to spank her and pulled her closely to him and kissed her deeply on her mouth. The crew cheered at this as the wind whipped through her long, dark hair. He pulled back and looked into her expressive green eyes and watched her feelings. She was studying him also. He felt so alive and so complete with her at his side.

"That will teach you, my dear sister, not to ever scream like a Banshee around me again!" She grinned at him mischievously and let out a blood-curdling scream and he laughed then kissed her again.

Helena pulled away then gasped, "Must...get...air...can't breathe!" Then she leaned up to his ear and whispered to him, "Do I have to scream every time I want you to kiss me like that?" Then she giggled and ran back to her work.

~~~
He could not get her out of his thoughts. He worked hard everyday but yet he kept feeling drawn to her. She was everything a man could ever want in a companion. She was beautiful, loving, intelligent, honest, and her charm was so delightful to him. He loved the manner in which she could tease with only him and it was understood by just the two of them. Something so special about Helena....everyone loved her and she radiated joy to those around her.

He lay upon his bed immersed deep in his thoughts when the room lightened and the higher one was there again. He never tired of the sweet smell of fresh flowers that permeated the air while she visited. It always lingered long after she and her light had gone. He loved her so deeply and thrilled at her presence.

"Jani," she called his name. "Jani, you need to come with me. There are many things I need to show you and to open your understanding to fulfillment of the blessing you were given."

He had forgotten the time he had drowned in the sea with his father. The feelings and memory flooded back to his consciousness of the one who had placed his hands upon his head and restored his life to him. It seemed so long ago. He was so happy here with Helena and her family and friends. Now the higher one was there to show him more. "Was he ready to face the trials and hardships ahead?"

He fell into a deep sleep as she touched his shoulder and he obeyed her request to follow her. He found himself again looking upon his beloved Kirsi. His heart swelled at the sight of her and a new baby son at her side. He slept cradled at his mother's side sucking on her breast. Both slept peacefully.

His joy was so great. He looked at the higher one and asked if he could speak to her and his son. He enveloped them in his light and the great love he felt for them. He poured out his heart to her again. "Kirsi, my beloved...oh how I long to return to you. How fair your skin, how beautiful your face and how I desire to hold you in my arms and to kiss your sweet lips again. I will return to you...I give you my promise, my whole being to you."

He wept with joy at seeing her again. He looked imploringly at the higher one and asked permission to hold Kirsi and his son. He was granted permission and he was immediately at her side as though in the flesh but yet without his physical body. He could feel her warmth and hear her steady, even breathing.

He kissed her face and Kirsi smiled and turned to him. She never fully awoke but he knew she would awaken and remember him being there with her. His son was lying between them and he touched his soft cheek. "Kristian, you shall be called Kristian Jani Koski!" It was almost a feeling of pain the love was so intense on this level of consciousness.

"Kristian, I shall return one day...I love you so deeply, flesh of my flesh!" The higher one touched his shoulder and he awoke in his own bed. He could still feel her beside him and smell her hair. He pondered deeply the feelings he felt for Kirsi and then he thought of Helena.

"Helena! Oh, Helena!" His heart felt torn. He had been lying in his bed thinking of Helena and had not thought of Kirsi for such a long time. "Why do I feel this way?" he questioned in his heart. "Is it really possible to love two women so fully?" He felt The higher one's touch again and he fell once again into a deep sleep.

"Jani, you are being prepared for companionship at this time." He felt himself above his body as she conversed with him. "You will have to make a difficult choice and I am going to leave you with some counsel that will help you make the correct choice."

Somehow he did not want to hear what she would say next. "Kirsi can no longer conceive and will not be able to bear more children for you, Jani. You may choose to marry Kirsi and to raise the son she has borne you. You would continue on with Kirsi very happy and have a feeling of contentment in your life. She nearly died while birthing Kristian, but she chose to live."

Jani remembered the blessing and what he had promised to come to earth to do. He was to be a father of many branches and if he married Kirsi, he had no hope of ever fulfilling that promise. He sought the higher one for answers to the questions in his heart.

"She will be allowed to meet another who will love her and your son as you do. You will have many to choose from. There are certain guidelines that are needed in choosing a true companion, Jani. It is very important to marry a worthy companion, not just someone for company or they could end up being bad company."

He wondered at her words of 'many to choose from'. She continued to instruct him. "You should marry someone who is your best friend. Some of the terms necessary for true friendship or companionship are loyalty, trust, generosity, acceptance, and honesty. The thing most important in being a friend is the ability to listen."

He agreed with all that she had shared with him. His heart burned within again. He continued to listen, "Character is what you really are...reputation is what people think you are. Integrity means genuine, wholehearted, thorough. A person may be of good, bad, or indifferent character. The word character, when used alone, ordinarily indicates good character. Character and integrity are prime essentials to real success in anything."

He knew she was waiting for his answer. He knew it had to be on a higher level in order to allow things to progress for Kirsi. Jani already knew what he must do. "I will allow her to be with another," he said slowly. His heart hurt yet he knew it was the right answer. She already thought him dead and would think he had come to her as a spirit of one who had died and gone through the complete separation of body and spirit.

The higher one smiled lovingly at Jani and touched him on his shoulder again and he awoke in his bed. It was now early morning as the sun was rising on the horizon. He walked upon the deck and let the salt breeze cool his brow that perspired with the thoughts of what was ahead for him. He had promised his son that one day he would return to find him.
~~~

This is excellent! Add me to your fan list, please!

*crying*

very nice, very moving

To our lovely Mstree, who's words enchant, entertain, mystify, entrall, and on occasion humble us...I drink a cheer. Slainte!!!

Yes, Sprite...sometimes words are inspired to humble close friends *pull your head out of your **** so you can see the light* Hehehe...something magical about those words!

I thank you all for your kind words and it inspires me to make the time to write when I have so many other things going on in my life.

Quill, a compliment from you is a high compliment indeed! *S*

More to come...already in the works! Thanks again. :) *emoticons and puns welcome here Accasbel*

one word

wonderful

~~~
Jani listened as the ship cut through the waves. He was in another place in his thoughts. He thought of his visit to Kirsi and the decision he had made. He thought of Helena. He was still trying to remember everything he had been told by Helena when she had conversed with him about light. Her words kept coming to his mind, "The key to getting more light is to exercise our talents, live for truth, and fulfill our earthly mission."

He knew he had chosen to allow Kirsi to find companionship with another so as to fulfill his earthly mission. He knew he could not deny the things he had experienced with the higher one. His brow furrowed as he wondered about talking to Helena about this.

He grabbed hold of the ship with a start. He had a queasy feeling in his stomach and the ship seemed to rock and reel under him. It was like a repeat of the storm his father's ship had been lost in only much more violent. He felt like he was going to be swallowed by the deep again, but how could this be? It had been a glorious and calm morning when he had walked out in the fresh breeze of the ship's deck.

A cool hand touched his cheek and he snapped back. Helena stood looking in his eyes as if waiting for an explanation. He breathed a sigh of relief and quickly changed his thoughts, not wanting her to know what he had seen and felt. She smiled happily at him.

"Jani, we will soon be to Dublin and I will introduce you to many of my friends there. The crew is anxious to have a much needed break and the change of scenery will do you much good," she said. He kept trying not to think of his seeing a violent storm. He decided to change the subject and ask her more questions.

"Helena," he asked. "I want to know more about the song you were singing with the crew. It seemed to bring a closeness and joy to all who heard it." She grinned again.

"Oh, Jani! There are so many songs that my father taught me of the sea. They have been around for many years and are part of my heritage."

He eyed her closely then spoke again, "No, Helena. There was more to this. I felt it! A simple song and there was something more that I can't explain about it. I want to know more. Why, when you sing is it different?"

She giggled softly and the light danced merrily in her eyes. "You are ready to know more," she replied. Helena turned to walk away and he wondered at her. He stood with a blank look on his face until he saw her return with a small lyre. She positioned herself and asked Jani to sit down. She started to play softly and slowly as she started to explain to him.

"Jani, listen to each chord as I play them and I will tell you what frequency each creates upon the human body. The music resonates and the body's cells, like a tuning instrument, pick up the same vibration and the cells vibrate causing a feeling, or emotion. The particular vibration emitted by the chords can cause a physical change in the body as it brings the body back into balance and speeds healing."

She continued, "I can not give you but a small sample of the infinite combinations of notes and chords. But I will give you some that are key to our well-being." She strummed again. "This chord is A flat. It is for alignment. It brings an adjustment where the body is arranged in perfect sequence or order."

"You mean, music has that effect on everyone?" he asked.

"Well, it depends on their heart, Jani. But some music can very sharply pierce and heal. It is a very individual thing. Have you noticed how you are drawn to some music and other music does not interest you?"

"Yes. Why is that Helena?"

"Because your needs are different than another's. A gifted musician can feel the energy in a room full of people and will be inspired to play for the crowd. It will just flow from the heart. No one else could play the same music and have the same effect as one who is in tune with the needs of others." She looked at him and knew his thoughts. He was thinking again of her singing, that her voice had a soothing and healing trait.

She strummed another chord. "This is B flat. It is for unity." She continued to play as she explained. "Here is C flat. It is very powerful as it brings control and balance. It would help you to overcome your emotional need for wine, Jani." He listened intently as she spoke. "Here is a chord that can be called F sharp or G flat. It sounds the same, doesn't it, Jani?"

"Why call it two names if it is the same? he asked.

"It is not the same, Jani. Each has it's own vibration as words create a different frequency even with the same notes. The F sharp chord is for honor and respect and the G flat is for goals and purpose," she explained.

"I still do not understand," he said. "How can the same sounding notes be different?"

She thought a moment then started to play and sing. It was the same song he remembered her singing the day he left his room. She sang the words again.


Working together, we're striving together,
We're noble and loving, we'll always be true.


"That is for honor and respect...listen to the words and feel, Jani. That part would be known as the F sharp chord. Now listen again and it will sound the same but it will feel different to you."


Working together, no matter the weather,
We'll build and we'll bring hope in all that we do.


"Those words are the G flat or goals and purpose. It can be overwhelming, Jani, if you try to process it and prove everything intellectually. Just let it work upon your heart and feel the energy it brings to your body. You said you knew there was something different. It can be felt more easily than explained. One has to experience it to know it."

He was beginning to understand now. He listened as she continued playing and singing.


Working together is always a pleasure,
We love and we bond, we'll always be true.


This did sound different than the first two parts. It felt different as she was playing an entirely different chord. "What are you playing there, Helena?" he asked.

"I have shifted the frequency by using another chord. This time it brings together the first two vibrations and enhances the feeling of the words. Don't worry about it, Jani. Try to just keep a very simple idea of what each chord does. You do not need to figure it out or it will confuse you even more!" She laughed at him then continued to share more chords.

" This is a C minor. It is for confidence." She strummed again. "A good one for a long day at sea is the D major as it is for Duration and endurance. The last one I will play for you is the E flat. It is for energy. I could not begin to teach you all the infinite combinations of notes and words let alone explain the differing colors I see when I play my music. It just comes from my heart and is very natural."

"What do you mean colors? he queried.

"Jani, you should know that there are many more colors than we can see with the human eye. Same with sound. I cannot begin to play what I see and hear in the higher realms. I have to translate the music to a frequency that others here can understand."

"Music has light as well as sound?" Jani asked again.

"Jani, music IS light. And on a higher frequency one can hear music in the flowers and all creations of God. The most beautiful colors have the most beautiful sounds in a simple flower. The fragrance is also light. Don't you see, Jani? Don't you see how important light is for growing and our very life depends upon the light? Music heals...music raises one's frequency so as to be in tune with the higher realms."

"I guess I need to teach you a few of the notes and their colors. I will just simply list them with a few brief explanations. A, sharp-glint of steel; A, green; B, soft blue; C sharp, violet; C or the Middle C, red...blood changes chromosomes of the next generation; D sharp, glint of steel, metal; D, yellow; E, pearly blue; F sharp, bright blue; F, dark red, emotions/acute pain; G sharp, purple, fevers/swelling glands; G, rosy orange."

"Really? There is a color for every note?" he asked.

"Yes, Jani. In fact the colors themselves have properties. For example, violet is spiritual law, visionary imagination, or fast moving. Indigo-pathfinder, intuition, concepts. Blue-spiritual, nostalgic. Green-nature, understanding, between emotions. Yellow-mind, intellectual planning. Orange-battle, social personality, wisdom. Red-loud, physical."

"It seems that you just described the rainbow...and the higher vibration is a violet?" Jani questioned.

"Yes, Jani. I did not need to explain that to you. The red is a lower frequency of this physical realm. There are seven centers of energy in your own body and each has a vortex or spin that has one of these colors emitted. I see this all the time and know where a person's thoughts are centered." She laughed as she thought of the time he had idly thought of kissing her on her mouth.

"You mean you actually see this in everyone? Jani's mouth opened wide in astonishment.

"I only see what I am supposed to see, Jani. I do not have the time to focus on everyone. I feel drawn to certain frequencies and I see and recognize who the individual is. They may have some things out of balance, but it is easily overcome when I teach them. Knowledge is light, Jani. That is why it is so important to glean every bit of knowledge in mortality. It will draw one higher."

Jani was deep in thought again, remembering all he had been taught about the importance of light, or truth. He still had questions in his heart. He wanted to know more of the seven centers of energy in the body and how each was affected. "Helena, can you explain to me the seven centers of energy in the body and what happens if they are not open?"

"Sure! There are seven layers of the auric field. Each is associated with a center of energy. I am going to simplify a bit. The seven centers are the base, sacral, solar plexus, heart, throat, forehead, and crown. The highest center being the crown, is the violet. The lowest base center is in the reproductive organs and is red. A lot of individuals can not seem to get past this level and their thoughts dwell continually at this level."

"Oh my God! You mean that we can be locked into a level?"

"Yes...but it is easy to overcome when one understands. Let me explain briefly what each center represents starting with the first level or the lowest. Base-existence of physical matter. Sacral-awareness, unity, synthesis, intelligence. Solar plexus-energy of thought, creation of ideas, questioning the meaning of life. Heart-analysis of options, balanced judgment, decisions, mercy, justice. Throat-physical and spiritual universal harmony and knowledge. Forehead-ultimate wisdom and understanding, victory, truth. Crown-purity, love that surpasses all understanding."

"So one can pretty much tell which level one is on by where they are centered in their thoughts?" asked Jani.

"Yes. It is a good idea to evaluate one's self and to try to bring balance by controlling our thoughts and desires. The music helps so much. That is what you observed when the men and I were singing together. It brings a oneness, a sense of completeness and fulfillment. They were simply happy to be..."

~~~
Jani's head was spinning. It seemed too much to comprehend. He followed Helena out to the crew to make her rounds. She began singing a song that the men picked up on. Where had he heard these words before? His stomach felt queasy again and he fought the fear that was mounting as he sensed again a violent storm. He sat down quietly and listened to the music as Helena sang with the men.


The winds of war blow, in an unpredictable way,
The songs of loving hearts, are whispered everyday.
We're tossed and we're blown, mid feelings of the heart,
In everyone of us, each has a special part.
In time you will remember...who you truly are.
In time you will remember...your special chartered star.


The winds of war blow, to bring a new command,
Of every strength within us, to help us understand.
Our hearts will be our stay, through the storms of life each day,
We'll chart the known way, through storms that come our way.
In time you will remember...who you truly are,
In time you will remember...your special chartered star...


The men's voices trailed off. The wind had come up quickly and violently upon them. The ship tossed and Jani knew in his heart that he had seen this happening before it actually was to occur.

He watched them strain to pull lines in place and secure the deck. He felt like a small straw upon the deep again. He marveled that they remained so calm. This was completely different than what he had experienced upon his father's ship where the men had panicked and given up. These men were ready to fight for their ship and their lives.

He heard Helena singing again...the same tune she had sung before. They were united and felt her strength. She was a born leader. She commanded their respect and admiration. She stood fearless as the wind whipped her long dark tresses about her face.

The sky opened in a great deluge and the deck became treacherous and slippery. It was hard even for Jani to hold his position as the ship tossed to and fro as some simple toy bobbing with no direction of its own. He caught a glimpse of Helena as she dropped to her knees and closed her eyes. "What is she doing now?" he wondered.

The crew followed her directive and each offered a silent petition of their heart. It seemed so unreal, the destructive forces about them and yet she had such a command of her feelings and could maintain a calm among the men. She stood up and turned to look at Jani. He felt them there. He knew that there were many in spirit among them.

She did not see it coming. A bolt from the heavens struck her and she was knocked backwards and over the railing into the deep sea. He did not hesitate but plunged in after her to keep her lifeless body from being swept away from all hope of recovery.

His heart cried out to the one who had placed his hands upon his head, "Please let me bring her back! Please help me and give me the strength to bear this storm." The tears flowed freely down his cheeks now as he fought to hang on to Helena and to stay above water. He felt a wave crash over him and he held his breath. It seemed a sickening eternity before he surfaced and grabbed a deep breath again.

"Dear God, where are you? You promised me that I would live...you brought her into my life. Where is the peace that you promised to bring?" He heard music...then he saw them. There were many who came singing and the wind quieted. He saw one tall one who led the others. He stood noble and in command. Jani heard him speak within.

"Your prayers have been answered. She will live to bear many branches and I will be born in the fulness of times and have part in restoring peace to the world."

"Who are you? What is your name? Why do I feel as though I know you?" Jani's heart was lightened as he felt the love and concern from this great leader.

"I am to be born as one of your posterity. My heart will be drawn to find you again. I will assist in gathering again our family from the four quarters of the earth and restoring the order that is known in heaven. There will come a time of a thousand years of peace and the earth shall be renewed and receive its paradaisical glory."

The vision closed to Jani and he felt he and Helena being pulled into the same boat that Helena had pulled him into. His life had been spared once again. He looked down upon Helena and saw her unsteady breathing. Her heart was not in its proper rhythm. He felt consternation as he watched her unconscious form.

He heard the men singing the song they had been singing as the storm came up. He listened to the words...


The winds of war blow, in an unpredictable way,
To move us everyday, to kneel and to pray,
That we may find His peace, in knowing all our friends,
In time we will remember, the love He always sends.
In time we will remember...who we truly are,
In time we will remember...our special chartered star...


~~~
He sat watching her as she moaned quietly. He had brought her to his bed and had watched her closely for days. His heart stirred and he felt the feelings. He loved her deeply. Jani started singing to Helena...


Oh locked within my heart were many feelings,
I could not bring myself to share these feelings,
But something happened to my heart, when I first met you.
I could not wait to say the words 'I love you',
My foolish heart could only say 'I truly loved you',
But something happened to my heart, when I first met you.
I started thinking of love again,
My heart started singing of love again,
Because it knew the truth...I did love you!
My life you did renew.


You unlocked my heart and saw who really loved you,
You took away the hurts that lingered there,
And something happened to my heart, because you loved me true.
I felt a peace and strength because I knew you,
Your faith could heal a broken heart that was in two,
And something happened to my heart, because you loved me true.
I started thinking of love again,
My heart started singing of love again,
Because it knew the truth...I did love you!
My life you did renew.
I started crying for love again,
My heart was crying for love again,
Because it knew the truth...I did love you!
My life you did renew...


Jani heard her humming the tune with him. She opened her eyes and he embraced her. "Helena, oh Helena!" He kissed her face and hair softly as they savored the moment of being one.

"Jani," she spoke softly. "I need to tell you something important."

"Shhhh...you need to rest, my love," he chided.

"Jani Kristian Koski! This is important and you need to listen," she retorted. She no longer appeared weak. The light was fully there in her clear green eyes as she spoke to him. "Jani, we have been blown off course. We will be visiting Wales as there is someone there we need to meet. Our ship needs repairs and that is the closest place to moor." She finished speaking and fell into a deep slumber again.
~~~

I apologize for the delay. Some storms in my own life blew me off course. Wale, I am learning as I write. Thoughts just come and new ideas flow. Don't worry...eventually they will arrive in Dublin. Kinda feels like a series or soap where you are left hanging until the next episode. *G* It is fun to read comments and to see others writing. Tex? Roisin? Quill? LaurelRose? Keep it up...cheap entertainment at its finest! Hehehe...

Cheap?
You mean inexpensive !

To WHAT DO I OWE that last comment? *G*

Or HOW MUCH DO I OWE? LOL

Inexpensive-thrifty, low-priced, modest; see "CHEAP", economical.

Cheap-inexpensive, low-priced, moderate, of small or little cost or price, family-size, economy size, budget, utility (grade), depreciated, slashed, standard, cutrate, on sale, competitive, lowered, thrifty, bargain, irregular, reduced, cut-priced, low-cost, at a bargain, at prime cost, reasonable, marked down, half-priced, popular priced, worth the money; dime-a-dozen, dirt-cheap, peanuts, for a song, second, bargain basement, economical.

or....
inferior, ordinary, shoddy, common, poor.

or...
dirty, tawdry, low; dishonest, mean, vulgar.

Webster's New World Thesaurus

~~~
I will never cheapen myself again! Hehehe...I am now in-expensive mood! LOL

Accasbel rules! *G* Thanks for the good muse!

I have my own personal e-mail! You may write me at:
m_mstree@hotmail.com

Mstree...i'm just waiting quietly for the next chapter. I know these things can't be rushed...

~~~
The weather remained calm but a damp, clammy cold cut through Jani's body. He had gone outside to get some fresh air and to pass the time. It had been two days and Helena showed no signs of life. There was no detectable heartbeat, no discernible breathing. He had tried to converse with her spirit and the room felt void of her presence and light. He paced nervously as the Captain approached him.

"Well, how is our lady of the sea?" he asked Jani. "Any improvement in her condition?" Jani hesitated to answer and avoided the Captain's eyes.

"She is resting," he replied simply. "I will let you know when she awakens." He did not want the Captain to guess how serious Helena's condition truly was. He worried that she had died yet he could not bring himself to believe that of her. He remembered how he had drowned and had his life restored again. It was his hope that she, too, would be allowed to live.

Jani returned to his room where she now lay. He knew if she truly was dead that her lifeless body would soon begin to stink. He grew weary of waiting and watching and laid beside Helena in his bed, his arms holding her closely. She did not stink to him, though her body was cold. The thought would have been morbid to Jani if it had been anyone else but Helena.

Jani's eyes closed and he smelled the scent of fresh flowers again. The one of light was there to greet him as he slipped from his body. He welcomed her light and radiant presence. "Is she gone?" he asked. "Have I lost her forever?" He thought of how he had poured his heart out to the Creator and asked him to allow her to live... he thought again of his fervent prayer while struggling to hold onto Helena in the violence of a cold, dark, sea.

"Jani, peace be unto your soul for she is yet with our Father. There are those in spirit who have a sacred charge to protect and preserve her life. Look upon her physical form again and tell me what you observe about Helena." Jani turned to look upon the lifeless form.

His eyes widened in amazement as he saw a glorious being of light sitting and watching over her lifeless body. He looked further and saw at the edge of this being's protective dome of white light over Helena many dark and forboding angry faces pressing to get to Helena. His heart questioned for understanding.

"Jani, you see one of the lineage of Helena who will also be born in the fulness of times. It was he who Helena saw before going on. She knew and told you why you were to go to Wales. There is one there that you need to meet as she stated to you before losing her consciousness."

Jani could not believe that she was gone so fully. He had more questions in his heart. He did not understand the dark ones. "Who are they?" he queried. "Why are they so intent on getting to Helena's body?" She smiled and touched his forehead. He saw and remembered the great war in Heaven. He remembered the hosts who rebelled against the plan that was presented.

"They have no hope of obtaining bodies, Jani," she said. They would do anything to possess any kind of body on earth, even for a brief moment. If one makes poor choices and allows their influence, they are allowed in. They constantly seek to wear down and destroy the will of those living in the physical plane so as to inhabit and control these weak ones."

"But how does one protect themself?" he asked again. "Why does Helena have protection and they are unable to get to her body?" He watched again the angry, snarling faces as they tried to get at Helena.

"She has lived so as to have the light surround her, Jani. She has never done anything to defile her body. Others may choose to violate one against their own will but they are taken in spirit while the abuse occurs. Let me show you some important truths about the light, Jani."

She touched his shoulder and they were in a dark, smokey place of ill repute. He shuddered at the coldness as it penetrated his entire being. Even the humid cold had not penetrated his physical body in the manner as what he now experienced and felt. He felt her light surround him fully and the sensation of coldness left him.

He saw a room full of many people drinking and involved in various dark practices. There was a faint glow from these individuals. Then he noticed each surrounded by dark ones who had no light. Some were trying to grab a drink and their hand would swipe through the intended drink. Others tried to fight and their fist would also pass through the intended victim.

He watched in amazement as he realized that those with light were living beings and the dark ones were those entrapped by the same vices they had not overcome while alive. These things still controlled them. He also saw the same dark ones who had never had a body at the side of those in the flesh whispering dark thoughts to them.

"I can't bear to watch anymore...it is too painful to see how hopeless they are!" Jani gasped at the things he saw and felt. "I want to go back to Helena," he said.

"You must see one more thing, Jani..." Her light shone more fully upon him and he was again comforted by her light and warmth. He watched one who drank at the bar passing out. As he lost consciousness, the faint, protective light opened and fell away and the angry and lustful spirits entered the body so as to feel the rush of the same addictions each had in the flesh.

This horrified Jani as he realized that he had passed out many times while drinking to escape his own problems. He did not want to lose control to such as these. He looked again and saw the faint form of those in the flesh hanging outside and slightly behind their own bodies. They were observing the control the dark ones had upon them. They were helpless to stop the affronts to their bodies.

He finally understood why Helena was different. He had never seen her drink, heard her swear, or do anything that would offend the light. She radiated a special presence among others and her entire being was felt when she entered a darkened room. The darkness had to flee and could not endure the light she emanated with her great love and compassion for others.

"There is one more thing you need to know, Jani. An addiction is not to the actual physical substance or depraved act, but to the feeling of power the person feels as the entities rush in. These individuals mistakenly believe they are in control but you have seen the truth...now you must remember these things and keep your body free from the darkness."

Jani awoke with a start as he heard concerned voices and someone pounding on his door. He was glad he had bolted the door for he did not want to explain his lying in bed beside Helena who still showed no sign of life. He went to the door and unbolted it. Many of the crew stood with the Captain and demanded to see Helena.

"I told you she is resting...I told you I would let you know when she awakens!" Jani felt his face flushing with anger at the crew's insistance of seeing Helena. Jani was pushed aside and the Captain gasped as he saw the blue cast to Helena's lifeless body. He put his head to her chest to listen and tried to find a pulse.

"Jani, she is gone! Why didn't you tell me this? Why didn't you let us try to help her? The Captain and crew exploded in angry words. They felt frustrated and helpless looking upon the lifeless body of Helena. Some of the men began to cry and sob loudly. They loved her so much and could not bear to see her dead.

Jani smelled the fragrance of flowers again and felt himself calm and a peace pass over him. He finally spoke up. "She is not dead...she does not stink...she is yet alive and I will not let you take her from me!" He pushed them out the door, all but the Captain.

"You will obey me in all things!" the Captain snapped angrily at Jani. I want her body prepared to be thrown overboard into the sea after appropriate words are said and the sooner the better! I cannot have a crew that is not focused on sailing this ship! We have just endured one of the most horrendous storms at sea and need to get on to our destination."

Jani flashed a defiant look at the Captain and a remarkable calm and commanding presence enveloped he and the entire room. He saw the one who attended Helena sending light and love to him.

"We will not do any such thing! SHE IS NOT DEAD! She told me that we were to go to Wales and repair the ship there. Would you go against her wishes? Would you not give her a decent land burial if she is in fact dead? We can make good time to Wales if we do not try to backtrack to Ireland. Our ship will sink and many lives perish if you do not honor Helena's request!"

The old Captain began to cry. Jani put his arms around him and hugged him. There was a different feeling in his room now. He heard his name being called. "Jani! Jani! Oh my beloved Jani!" Helena had awakened and was calling for him.

~~~
Jani's heart nearly burst. The tears streamed freely as he looked into her eyes. There was a deepness to her eyes and a light that he did not understand at first. He felt a familiar vibration inside him then recognized the light as that of the one who had placed hands on his head and restored his life.

Nothing needed to be said. There hearts were speaking to one another. The one of light raised his hand and the Captain felt suddenly the need to leave. The door closed and she began to speak aloud to Jani. "Jani, I was with Him! I did not want to come back...He was holding me in His arms and I wanted so much to stay with Him!"

"Helena, why did you come back? Why didn't you stay?" Jani asked.

"I heard your prayers, Jani...it pulled me back. I...I just could not leave you alone!" she stammered. "But when you started singing to me I was pulled immediately back to my body. I awoke wanting to speak to you. I had this urgent need to tell you about our visiting Wales...it is of utmost importance!" They both felt the presence of the higher one in the room confirming what she said.

"But Helena...you died! You did not stay with me! You crossed over fully as I could no longer detect your light here with me." Tears glistened in Jani's green eyes. "The Captain was ready to bury you at sea...oh my God! What would have happened had he done that and you had come back to your body afloat in the cold, dark sea?"

"Jani, do you forget who watches over and protects me?" She flashed him a knowing smile. "I have so much I need to tell you...there is so much more! Jani, we only scrape the surface of eternal understanding as we move from this earth plane to the next. It is the spirit realm closest to our earth. The earth is the base center of energy and the next level the sacral center of energy. And it continues higher with higher frequencies of light as in the body."

Jani thought about the vortexes of energy of the body and could see and feel the direct relationship to a person's frequencies and abilities to light travel. He listened as she continued to share with him the things she had encountered. "Jani, there is so much more than what we comprehend here in the flesh. Even the belief of dying and going to a better place has so much more than what we are capable of understanding."

She sought to find the physical words to help him understand the higher laws of eternity. "Jani, think again of the seven centers of energy I taught you about. There are many levels higher than the first one but if you think of seven and an infinite frequency to each level, a person will be drawn to the light they are comfortable with."

"Is that like the varying individual traits we each have and manifest each day?" he asked.

"Yes...gosh, it is so hard to describe and give understanding to the higher realms! I could not go on further and I felt that I was held back or imprisoned in the next realm. It is beautiful with many flowers, trees, beautiful cities, great libraries and places of learning. I was even allowed to visit the Record Keeper and learn of many things recorded there. But I felt a deep sadness...a longing to go home...truly home to my Eternal Father."

"You told me He held you in His arms, Helena! Why would you feel like you were not home?" She lifted a cup of water to her lips and drank deeply. She thirsted physically for water yet she wondered how to explain to him the 'living water' she had been given by Him.

It filled her entire being and she was able to go with Him higher. She had gone with Him to the Creator's presence and had cried with her Eternal Father as he held her in His arms. Jani could not yet understand the difference of the Father and the Son as individual personages.

"Jani, the fulness has been taken from the earth. We only have a portion of the knowledge and power needed to return to our Eternal Father's presence again. It will be given again one day but there has been many years of darkness and a falling away from the truth since He died for us. Those of darkness are trying to destroy continually every shred of the word that was preserved of He and His ministry upon earth."

The recollection of all that he had been shown in spirit came vividly to his mind again. He understood the charge given him to keep his body pure and undefiled. He waited to hear her words as she continued speaking. "There will yet be many years to come of the darkness, Jani. But those with good hearts will keep the truth alive in themselves and their posterity."

He felt the light in the room brighten from the one who would come in the fulness of time. He wondered about the blessing he had received at the hands of He who had taught Helena. He wondered about the many beliefs on earth and why everyone did not know the things she was telling him. "Why would anyone not want to have all the light and power that you experienced Helena?" He waited for her answer.

She smiled at him again and her great love and light flowed as she spoke about her experiences on high. "That is why we fought so hard, Jani. For the opportunity to choose freely what we wanted to be and where we would be the most comfortable. Some cannot endure that much light. They learn and progress in a manner in which they are comfortable with."

"So we don't try to change anyone's beliefs? he asked.

"It would not do any good, Jani. It is a violation of higher laws to impose our will upon another. The laws are in place and nothing changes what they are. One simply chooses how much light they are comfortable with. The individuals who are locked into the base level will remain at that level when they die. They would be miserable in the higher realms."

"Like a fish out of water could not live?"

"Yes...only much more intense. There is a period of probation where one can choose to learn and go higher yet most never overcome the weaknesses of the flesh. Without the body it is so much harder to overcome these things. A person should strive every day while alive upon earth to acquire knowledge and to use their knowledge to bless the lives of many others."

"Is this what helps a person overcome the physical addictions?"

"Yes, as it allows one to overcome selfish desires that contribute to the need for power or control over others. There are really only three things to overcome in life. It is a simple matter when one understands what they are and why they should overcome these physical tendencies."

"But I would have thought that there were all kinds of weaknesses here that we manifest every day, Helena!"

"That is true, Jani. But if you know the three things that hold one's spiritual progression back, you can easily see that each weakness falls in one of these three areas."

"Oh..." Jani thought a moment about his own weaknesses he had realized. "What specifically are the three downfalls of mankind then, Helena?"

She grinned at him and winked. "Well, probably women would be number one, Jani!" He laughed deeply at her words and it felt good. It had been days since he had felt like laughing. "But seriously," she said, "as brief as I can encapsulate them, they are, first, bodily appetites; second, power; and third, acclaim."

He was confused and she laughed at him again. "Maybe women are one, two, and three of men's downfall's Jani if they are used for bodily appetites, power, and acclaim!" He laughed again at this thought as it seemed to be true in many cases.

"Jani, there is always an opposite or counterfeit way of the truth that presents itself to us in the flesh. We have to be discerning to know right from wrong. I can use women as an example to help you understand more fully if that is okay with you?"

"Sure!" he replied almost too quickly. "Sounds like an interesting way of presenting truth as an analogy, Helena." They both laughed hard again and he hugged her close. This brought a new seriousness to the topic. He had realized how precious she was and the unique love she was capable of giving so many. They were just drawn to her light and love.

"What happens if a woman is used only for a man's pleasure and physical gratification, Jani? What really happens to this man? Does he appreciate the woman more? Does he want to love, protect, and provide for her if his wants are immediately gratified?"

Jani was deep in thought. He remembered being taken and seeing those with selfish desires for gratification of their itchy wants. One could never satisfy one want without many more multiplying. "Okay, Helena. I see where this is going. The true way is to make a commitment to a woman and love and nurture her spirit as a companion...to consider her needs first."

"Yes! And now what other bodily appetites could you observe in others?"

"Hmmm...there are so many that it is hard to list them but probably anything in excess such as overeating, overworking...well, anything basically that controls the individual and they can't stop doing it over and over." He smiled at Helena again.

"True! All true, Jani! Now back to the women and number two!" They laughed again. "How would a woman be used wrongfully for power, Jani? And the other side of the coin, how should a woman be treated?"

He was smiling again, a deep twinkle in his eyes. "I think anything that is done against someone's will would be for the sole purpose of controlling that person or being in power. Am I on the right track?"

"Of course you are...and what is true power then, Jani?"

"It would have to be the power of our influence for good upon someone, Helena. Like you, for example! You have everyone eating out of your hand wherever you go!" She put her hand out to Jani as if to offer him something to eat and he pretended to accept her offering. They both laughed heartily at this.

"The greatest men and women in history will never force their will upon others but will instead lead others with their example and actual acts of service. Some of the most influential people are our own mothers. They do not need the spotlight, Jani. There is a deep and satisfying feeling of true power of influence when they guide someone to greater accomplishments than they ever could have accomplished on their own."

"So that puts us up to the third downfall of mankind, Helena? Acclaim is a powerful motivator and it goes hand in hand with power, doesn't it?"

"Sure...what is the dream of every man Jani, as long as we are using women as the downfall!" She grinned as she waited for his answer.

He was smiling again and continued to share his feelings with her. It felt very natural to be with her and open himself up completely. He knew he could trust her completely and that the things they discussed privately would remain between the two of them. "As a natural man, I would have to say that I would want every woman I met to fawn over me and make me feel like I was the greatest gift to women on earth!"

"Nothing like insincere flattery to win a man over, huh Jani?" They both laughed again. "So what would be the higher form that we would want to strive for, Jani"

"I was wondering when you would want to know the truth! Helena, I feel so comfortable with you. You are sincere and honest. You recognize my true worth, who I am, not who I appear to be. There is a genuine validation of my self worth every time I am with you. It is not a fleeting thing as with the flattery thing."

"Ever notice how eyes meet when the truth is spoken, Jani? If one speaks falsely he cannot look directly into your eyes and if you do catch a glimpse, the truth is written all over one's face."

"So my beloved Helena, do you love me?" He looked deeply into her eyes waiting for her answer. He saw a flash of pain and consternation arose in his heart. "What is it, Helena? I saw something there in your eyes...like pain. Do you love me or not?"

She swallowed hard then continued, "I love you with all my heart, Jani. I always have and always will. But you love someone else more deeply and it is your true desire to be with her. I would never take that from you."

It was his turn to wince as he thought of Kirsi. She was right. He had made a commitment to allow her to be with another, yet his heart wanted desperately to have Kirsi as part of his life again. He knew the day would come when he would find his son and would have to face the prospect of Kirsi and his son Kristian with another.

"Helena, I cannot have Kirsi...and I do love you so truly! Would you consider marrying me?" He watched hopefully her eyes as she studied him again. There was that light again in her eyes that he had recognized earlier. "What? Helena, you are not telling me everything...come on, out with it now!"

Tears welled up in her eyes. He had never seen such a beautiful countenance in all his life or even during his sojourns in spirit. She radiated something so much higher, something he was drawn to and it felt so familiar to him.

"Jani, you have experienced the presence of the Son of our Eternal Father. But I have gone with Him back into our Father's immediate presence. My heart still longs to be there as it is our true home. I would never have come back were it not for my great love first for our Father and then for you."

Jani looked puzzled. He was not understanding the depth of her words. "Why would you come back if you were home? Why not stay where you were happiest? And if you love the Father so deeply, why did you choose to return? I do not understand this, Helena!"

"Because, Jani Kristian Koski, I love my Father so fully that I would put His every desire before my own. That is what one has to overcome in the flesh in order to endure His Eternal presence. When all desire for bodily appetites and passions are overcome, when one seeks to give all power and acclaim where it rightfully belongs, then one has overcome the three downfalls of mankind. This is possible even in the flesh, Jani."

"You mean...Oh Helena! That is why you radiate such light and love. You always put others before yourself. Why did He want you to return, Helena?"

"We were crying for you, Jani. I knew that I needed to return to be a part of the fulfilling of prophecy and the blessing you were given. As much as I wanted to stay, I wanted even more to see you progress to your highest good so as to fulfill His divine plan in His intended way."

"And what would have happened to me had you not returned, Helena? What then of the promised blessings to myself and my posterity?"

"Jani, people's choices can change what is to be. There are others prepared to take over if one is not valiant enough to fulfill his promises to come down and complete his work on earth. All this is known but the power of choice remains constant. If people choose to continually violate higher laws, they become ripe for destruction. But if enough are obedient and faithful, they hold tremendous power in bringing to pass peace and prosperity upon the land."

"Then why don't we make better choices, Helena? Why do people choose to remain at a certain level of progression without striving for perfection? Isn't that what you are saying is possible, Helena? Can we truly perfect ourselves?"

"Jani, we have always existed as intelligences. We have progressed this far on the pathway to perfection in that we chose to come down to experience mortality and acquire a body. It is necessary to have continual opposition in order for us to realize our strengths as we overcome the flesh. Some never had this desire to begin with. They are content to be where they are and it is part of the plan."

"Helena, why did you come back for me? Why are you supposed to be with me? What is ahead for us? Do you know these things already?"

"Jani, many have seen and recorded in ancient writings about the winding down scenes upon earth. Many of these ancient records will be found and come forth as a witness of these things. Not everyone will accept this or even have a chance to know the things I know and am sharing with you. I am not to share with others. It is not yet the time for this knowledge upon the earth."

"Then why tell me about this, Helena?"

"Because you have been given more to do here on earth. Jani, you will go through severe testing and trials. It will never be easy for you. I was shown about the meaning of many branches in many parts of the world. You are an integral part of the plan. I will explain this to you one day when the time is right. Would you please bring my my lyre and let me play a song for you? It is a song concerning this world and every soul who was ever born or to yet to come."

Jani smiled and picked up the lyre from the corner. He had kept it there hoping somehow she would once again be able to play for him. She began to sing in her clear voice and he stopped in amazement as he listened to the music and the words.


Every one upon this earth...
will discover a new birth.
Where we truly see,
who we truly are,
Our strengths, our power
to end all war.
Everyone upon this earth...
will discover their new birth.

Look around you,
Touching others,
Bringing new hope
from our Fathersl

As we guard this precious earth...
we discover it's new birth.
Where we come together
as one again,
Our strengths, our power
to all we lend.
Every one upon this earth...
we discover her new birth.


Jani listened incredulously as he heard the words. Helena had the fulness of the song that he had only heard a portion of as the one in spirit had sung to him while he was attended to in spirit. "Helena, I know that song...she sang it to me but you have more words."

"I know, Jani...I know!" Helena said. "There are many more songs that she will bring forth to this realm when she is born. I wish I could tell you who she is but I am constrained as her identity is to be veiled upon the earth. There will be no names given as it would carry down and cause tremendous struggles for her in the flesh if others knew who she was."

Jani felt the familiar burning within his heart. He felt her there with them but not fully in their presence. "Helena, we will be in Wales soon as I persuaded the Captain to do what you had asked. He will have the ship repaired so we can embark to Dublin where I will meet many of your friends and family that you promised me!"

Helena smiled at the thought of Jani using persuasion rather than force with the Captain. "That reminds me, I need to make an appearance with the crew and hope they do not jump out of their skin when they see me!"

"Just don't scream like a Banshee!" Jani teased. "It would not be well to have the crew jumping out of their skins over board. I would be happy to kiss you right now on your sweet mouth without the Banshee scream!" He laughed remembering her teasing him after she had startled him with her Banshee scream and pulled her close for another kiss.

~~~

*sweetest smile* You never stop to amaze me Mstree. The story is a work of art...I love it *S*
You are a truly gifted writer and a true Lady...
* a respectfull bow *
Thank You....

And you, my dear friend and adopted son, I will give you 30 minutes to stop it some more! LOL

See what you started? And Tex's anticipation of more always helps me make time to actually sit me bottom down and anchor the ideas of the hard drive of me soul onto a computer screen then a print out on paper.

Thank you for the fine words of appreciation...you have made it all worth it!

Ciaran...contact me icq or e-mail ASAP. Things have come up and I will finish my story privately.

Mstree...please let me know if you will still be writing
reach me at texloco@yahoo.com

Is there any interest left in this story? I have completed two additional parts and the music keeps coming along with the story. I have been asked already if I would submit this for a soon to come on-line publication along with my music. The story will continue irregardless of whether it is here or not. E-mail me at m_mstree@hotmail.com
Thanks...

~~~
The ship cut through the water easily. A brisk sea breeze blew into the eager faces as the crew caught sight of the shores of Wales. Caernafon Bay loomed ahead and the crew made preparations to go ashore and find a much needed respite from the sea. Jani and Helena stood in anticipation for they both new that this visit was to be monumental to both of them.

As the ship anchored, they gathered a few items of trade and walked ashore. The sun was bright this day, as if a sign that this was the place they truly were intended to visit. Jani pulled Helena close to him and hugged her. He had a new appreciation of who she was and remembered his asking her to marry him. She had never given him a clear answer...only asked him questions concerning Kirsi.

He looked into her eyes again and searched to know what her heart held. He was confused momentarily as a sudden feeling came to him that he did not understand. He pushed it from his mind and they walked together through the town of Caernafon, enjoying the sights, sounds, and smells there.

"I wonder where we might find a place to stay?" Jani questioned. "Perhaps an Inn where we can meet others, eat, drink, dance, and enjoy ourselves?" Helena eyed him a moment before speaking.

"Jani, that is not where we are supposed to be. If we do not follow our heart, we will not cross the path of the one we are to meet." This caused Jani to stop and turn his thoughts again to all he had been through with Helena. He knew she was blessed to know more than he of the things of the spirit.

"Where are we supposed to go?" he asked. "Do we spend the night in the streets without a bed or a meal?" Her eyes were drawn ahead and light surrounded the scene ahead of her.

"See that horse and cart there, Jani. Let us inquire and see who it belongs to. I just have a feeling about this. And Jani...would you please quit trying to put the cart before the horse?" He grinned amicably at her and knew she was right. They walked over closer and saw a very young woman standing by the horse.

"Excuse me, m'lady...but who owns this horse?" Jani asked. The young woman turned her eyes down and would not speak. She trembled noticeably before them. Jani started to ask again, "who owns...". He felt Helena's hand pull his arm back as if to stop him. He watched Helena and light enveloped her.

The young woman looked into Helena's eyes and tears started to run down her cheeks. Helena reached over and hugged her close. Jani felt a burning in his heart. He knew this was the one they were to meet. He was wondering why they would need to meet a young waif of about thirteen years who would not even speak to them or look into his eyes. His answer came too soon.

A large angry man came out and grabbed her away from Helena. "What is the meaning of this?" he demanded. "Gwneth, you are never, never to talk to anyone or let anyone near you!" Jani flynched at the angry force that hit the young one named Gwneth. The man continued to curse and hit her full force with the back of his hand sending her tumbling to the ground, her head bleeding.

Jani could stand no more. He reached instinctively for his sword and pulled it high. "In the name of God I demand you release this child to me!" The other man cursed angrily and pulled his sword. Helena picked up Gwneth and moved her away from the men. She pulled a small container of ointment from a small pouch to spread on the young woman's wounds.

Jani jumped to the side as the other man lunged at him full force. He was even angrier that he had missed and turned again upon Jani. The sword whooshed through the air as the angry one lashed out wanting to cut Jani in half with his sword. Jani leaped in the air pulling his feet up high as the blade sliced underneath him. Jani landed deftly out of reach of the next blow then held his sword in both hands with full force driving it upwards underneath the other's sword sending it flying out of his hands and reach. Jani lunged at the angry man, then stopped with the sword at his heart.

There were those in spirit around Jani and he felt them holding him back. His eyes burned with a righteous fire and he demanded again, "In the name of God release this child to me now or I will drive my sword through your heart!" He watched the anger leave the man and his face turn white as fear entered his eyes. He looked up into Jani's eyes.

"Why would you want her?" the cowering man asked. "She is nothing but a whore; a cheap tawdry one and despised by all who meet her." Jani smelled the scent of fresh flowers and heard the words he now spoke aloud.

"Release this child to me and I will give you recompense for her and your horse with it's cart as well as to spare your life." The other man gloated back at Jani.

"You can have the worthless thing...but you must pay dearly for my horse with its fine breeding." Jani pulled his sword back and tore a small coin purse from his shirt. He threw the entire purse at the man. It contained gold coins of great worth.

"Here is a small token for the worth of this lost soul, for she is of infinite worth to me! Now what do you want for your fine animal?" The greed surfaced in the eyes of the large man.

"I want all that you have on your possession, except the clothing upon your back." His greedy eyes saw the torca about Jani's neck. "And I especially want that torca you are wearing!" Jani did not even hesitate. He threw the bag and its entire contents and grabbed the torca from his neck. He felt a sudden burning in his heart and remembered Kirsi and his son. He knew that the torca had been given to him to bring honor to Kirsi's father but he easily gave it so as to save Gwneth from further abuse.

He loaded Helena and Gwneth into the cart and departed down the street away from the loathsome place. Gwneth was crying and she looked into his eyes. He felt his heart pulled as she resembled Kirsi except she had beautiful long red hair and clear blue eyes befitting her Celtic heritage. She felt very familiar to him. He tried to remember why he felt as though he already knew her.

Helena's words finally broke into his thoughts. "Jani, we need to speak to the Captain and find out the extent of damage to our ship." He clicked his tongue and the horse took off at a gallop towards the ship.

~~~
Jani tied the horse while Helena helped Gwneth from the cart. They headed for the ship where they knew the Captain would still be in his quarters. Helena knocked upon the door and the Captain opened it. "Hello, dear Captain!" Helena smiled at him as he looked in amazement into their faces then at the young woman named Gwneth. "We wanted to know the extent of the damages, Captain."

The Captain grimaced at the thought. "Jani, you were right. Had we gone to Ireland our ship would not have held up. There are extensive repairs to be made and it looks as if I will be here through the winter until it is sea worthy again." Helena thought of the good weather they had been blessed with and how easily the ship had come to Wales.

The Captain continued, "You might want to make other arrangements, Jani. I do not want to keep you here when you could be somewhere else continuing your support." Jani was already deep in thought. He felt a commitment to Helena and now Gwneth. He knew that they could not stay in Wales, especially after the confrontation they had encountered.

Jani spoke up, "Where do you suggest I go to look for more work?" The old Captain stroked his beard then smiled. "I know an old friend who could fix you up! He has a much touted Inn and you would be welcome there. He has many contacts with all the captains who stop here and he would know what your options are."

Jani listened to directions then he escorted Helena and Gwneth back to where the horse was tied with the cart. He lifted first Gwneth then Helena and climbed in taking the reins. He clicked his tongue and they were off at a quick trot to the Inn.

~~~
They walked into the fine Inn smelling familiar smells and spotted many of their crew there eating, laughing, and enjoying the company of the ladies who frequented the Inn. Jani looked around then saw him. The old Innkeeper mingled with everyone there and made sure they felt comfortable and happy. Jani could see why the Captain had spoken so highly of this man.

The Innkeeper looked up and went quickly to see that they were seated. He stared at Gwneth a moment, then turned his attention upon Jani. "What would be your desire tonight?" he asked. "Would you like some fine wine and cheese to start with and then let me serve a savory stew with my own crusty loaves spread with fresh churned butter?"

Jani felt hungry all of a sudden. He remembered his weakness for wine and the counsel to keep himself clean. "Could I please have water for all seated here? And please, we would love to try your finest cheese and the stew sounds very desireable. But what I really need is to know of any ships looking for more crew. I need to care for these ladies and to know soon."

The old Innkeeper smiled and replied, "I will feed you first then have an answer for you." Jani relaxed in the comfortable captain's style chair. It was upholstered in a richly woven velvet. He looked at Helena as she smiled at him. He heard Gwneth speaking for the first time.

"Kind sir, what must I do to repay you?" He could not believe the gentle voice, clearer than any he had heard before. He wondered again at her softness and femininity. Only about thirteen and so regal in her bearing now. She was not a commoner. He felt again a familiarity about her.

"Gwneth, where are you really from? Your nobility bespeaks of itself as I look upon you. How did you end up with the one who despised and abused you?" Her face lit up as she saw how he had seen her true identity.

"Kind sir, I am a daughter of the royal line of the Prince of Wales. I was stolen from my family and kept in bondage for the past seven years. I never stopped praying that I would one day return to my family. My name, Gwneth, is Welsh meaning happiness or felicity; pride, controlled passion, spunk, spirit.

Jani was intrigued with Gwyneth. She continued to relate her story to him. "It has been a horrible nightmare for me as I experienced the truth about those known as the dark order of the Druids. Outwardly they appear as Holy men, yet they do other things in the darkness."

Jani's mouth opened wide as he listened. She continued, "As a young child, five years old, I was ripe for their hideous secret ceremonies. They hold secret rituals in which they offer human sacrifices and drink the blood in libation to their Master of Darkness.

"I have been continually beaten, spat upon, and raped by those who call themselves holy. I have personally been upon an alter and raped repeatedly. Their intent was to have what is known as a breeder, to conceive on these dark alters stained with much innocent blood, and to offer the newborn as a sacrifice. It is believed to give them great power and rule over this realm."

Helena looked towards Jani and saw the shock upon his face. "Jani, do you know what I saw when we came upon Gwneth?" Jani could not answer. "This beautiful innocent child was first made to drive a dagger through the heart of one of these innocent babes. I was shown how her hand was held and forced. It was completely against her will and she along with the babe, left their bodies and watched this horrible act from above."

Jani felt himself wanting to avenge the darkness but Helena continued. "You must always return love and forgiveness to even the darkest of soul's, Jani. You must never lower yourself to their level or they control you. Gwneth has endured many things but she also has been in the light with those we know as they have protected her life for the many things she is here to accomplish."

Helena touched Jani's heart and the awful feelings left. He felt peace and warmth return to him. He loved Helena so much. He longed to be able to marry her and have the blessings he was promised fulfilled. "Jani, we will talk more of these things another time. Here is the food we ordered!"

For the first time in many months Jani truly enjoyed the peace and respite that he felt now. They ate until they were filled. A young woman about Gwneth's age served them. She was the grand daughter of the Innkeeper. He studied her now as she asked if there was anything more she could fetch them.

"What is your name?" he asked. He was studying her features, like some fine angelic figurine. She was very petite, only 5 foot tall with long blonde hair and blue eyes. She had a pixyish look to her with tiny freckles across her nose. Her lips were full and her teeth even and white.

"My name is Cambria." she said. I have lived with my grandfather since I was a very young child. My parents were killed in an accident and my grandmother was already dead." He looked in awe at her aura as it filled the room. He noticed her feet and saw that they were bare sticking out from the folds of her long skirt.

"Where are your shoes, Cambria? Why does one such as yourself not wear slippers?" She smiled at him and raised her skirt part way.

"You see, sir, my legs and feet are a special trait that has been passed down for generations. I am able to stand long hours and do hard labor that most ladies can not endure. I have a fuller, more muscular leg and my ankles are thicker than those of most women. My feet are small and squarish and if you notice, my toes are short and the second toe is not longer than the large toe. It is looked upon very favorably here to have these features and shoes are so uncomfortable for me. I love being barefoot and feeling the richness of the ground."

He grinned as he watched her express her joy in her appearance. She was not like the other ladies at the Inn. She wore a modest gown of linen that fully covered her small body. He felt drawn to her because she was so different. He pictured her as a romantic natural. She loved dainty lace and flowers, yet she could work in the fields in common clothing and still be beautiful.

She spoke, "My grandfather desires to speak with you again if your are properly fed and comfortable." He nodded yes and the old Innkeeper returned and pulled up a stool beside his comfortable chair.

"There is one ship leaving tomorrow but that may be too soon for you. It is a ship from Finland and the crew are very coarse men. The Captain has a hard time disciplining his men and he loses crew members continually as they are want to stay with the women and wine."

Jani grew very interested as he heard the mention of Finland. He longed to return to his homeland and to find Kirsi and his son. "Where are they headed next?" he asked in anticipation of the Innkeeper's answer.

The old Innkeeper replied, "They are heading for Ireland...Dublin first then other ports where he plans to return to Finland by way of the English Channel, weather permitting, it may be a while before he makes it back to Finland." Jani was smiling now.

"Where is he? How may I make arrangements to meet him and take my friends with me?"

"You will have to go into a part of town that does not speak well of one. Are you up to this?"

"Yes...I will do anything for a chance to return to my home." Jani made arrangements for Helena and Gwneth to stay at the Inn for the night. "I will come back soon for you!" He walked out to his horse and left in a hurry.

~~~
Jani knew he was to find this Captain but something did not feel right to him. He continued on, the uneasy feeling growing. He pulled up alongside a tavern with loud arguing and noise coming from within. He stepped inside and looked around. He saw a lone man sitting at the bar. "Would you happen to be the Captain of the ship leaving tomorrow for Dublin?" Jani asked. The Captain turned in surprise and stared at him.

"Why do you ask? And how did you know about the ship leaving tomorrow? No one knows that yet unless...ah! Are you Jani?" The Captain warmed immediately as he learned of Jani's family in Finland. "I have heard many things about your father. He was one of the best men that ever sailed though I never knew him personally. You will be welcome aboard my ship!"

Jani thought of Helena and Gwneth. "I have two women traveling with me...one is very experienced working at sea. Will this be a problem?" The Captain furrowed his gray brows a moment before speaking.

"If you know the reputation of my crew, you may not want to bring these women with you. I will not be responsible for anything that may happen to them." Jani nodded his head.

"We will be at the ship ready to board early in the morning. I need to get back now to the Inn and make arrangements to get our things from the ship we came on." Jani still had a bad feeling. He clicked his tongue and the horse took off at a gallop. Something was not right. He felt that he needed to return to the ship. He pulled up and ran on the old tired ship and saw things smashed, strewn, and many things had been stolen.

He felt sick at heart and ran to the Captain's door. It was open and he saw the Captain in a pool of blood. He had been brutally murdered with his heart cut out. Jani retched at the scene and he felt himself leaving his body again. He smelled the fragrance of flowers and saw her with the Captain standing at her side.

"Jani, you must flee now...trouble not yourself at the death of your Captain...he is here with me. He would not tell them your whereabouts. Your life is still in great danger. You must return to the Inn to settle things there and take Helena and Gwyneth with you. Wake them leave behind all your possessions except what you can carry in necessities. Board as quickly as you can. Waiting could cost you your life."

Jani felt himself snap back to complete consciousness. He ran for his room and grabbed provisions. They had overlooked his room and he grabbed the lyre that Helena loved to play. He sped off to the Inn to find Helena and Gwneth. The old Innkeeper had already run off those who were asking about him. Jani told him of the Captain and he agreed to take care of the matter the next day.

"I have this horse and cart if you would please take them in return for all that you have provided for myself and my friends." The Innkeeper smiled and agreed. He ran to the room where the two women had fallen asleep. He shuddered to think what might have happened if he had been drinking earlier.
~~~

~~~
Jani burst into the room calling out their names. "Helena! Gwneth! Hurry! We need to go now!" The women sat up in a confused state as Jani started pulling them from the bed. "We must go now! Helena, the Captain was murdered and they were looking for us!" He was breathing hard as he handed them clothing and the few possessions they had brought with them.

Helena sat transfixed and Jani knew she was seeing something. "Jani, there is someone who will help us...we need to split up to board the ship. We cannot take our horse and cart or we would be spotted for sure." Jani had already thought of that but not the means to flee from the Inn without being seen.

"How do we go, Helena? Jani asked. "Who will help us?" Gwneth stared ahead with terror in her eyes as they spoke of their escape.

"Jani, you must dress as a woman and veil your face...it is the only way! They will be looking for a young man of your stature and the folds of my dress will hide you." As she started removing her clothing Jani gasped as he realized what she was doing. He pulled his trousers and shirt from himself and they traded clothing quickly. There was no time to consider Helena's usual modesty as they hastily dressed.

Helena tucked her long hair upwards inside a woolen stocking hat and Jani pulled a cape around his shoulders and put the hood over his head hiding his bearded face. Her dress would not fasten in the back because of his large chest, but the cape covered this.

Helena looked at Jani and delighted giggling broke out in the silence of the night as they looked at one another. "Jani, you look so virtuous and lovely!" He grinned back at her and swatted her backside.

In an exaggerated raised voice Jani asked, "How dare you feast your eyes upon my beauty...you...you..." Jani's teasing was interrupted by a loud and persistent knocking on the door. A hush fell over the room.

Helena spoke up, "Who is there?"

"It is I, Dairmuid Prionsias O'Faircheallaigh! I am here to escort you to your ship." Helena looked at Jani then opened the door slowly. There stood a very handsome man, large in stature waiting for her reply. He looked into her eyes and there was instant recognition though she had never met him before.

She lowered her voice deeply and mimicked him standing with her legs apart and her hands on her hips in a deliberate and arrogant manner, "Well dear Prince Daremetogowithyou...what is your plan?" Dairmuid studied her a minute then broke out in laughter. Jani joined in as they realized how odd they looked.

"You must be Helena," said Dairmuid. "I have heard from some of the men you sailed with about your feminine charms...and it looks as though your friend here could use some help with his!" The cape had fallen back from Jani's face revealing his black hair and beard.

Gwneth cried out, "Stop it! Stop it! You do not know how vile they can be! They will not hesitate to kill you and that would be the most merciful thing that could happen to you...they would torture you first and flay you alive!" Jani's demeanor changed as he remembered the Captain lying dead in his own blood, his heart cut out. He saw Gwneth trembling.

"She is right, Dairmuid. They will not stop at anything. What do you have planned for our escape?" He put his arm around Gwneth to comfort her and felt the frail frame that had been subject to so much abuse. She was still so noble even now as they planned their getaway.

Dairmuid stroked his black beard and said, "Are you willing to take the young woman with you upon a horse to the ship by the back way?" Jani thought a moment and wondered about Helena. It would still seem strange that two women would be traveling alone at night if the evil lot were waiting to ambush them.

"What if they are waiting on the back way for me? How would I fight them alone?"

"We already scouted that road and they are not there. They expect you back at your ship anytime. You just missed their return after you found the Captain dead. I will take the arrogant one with the deep voice and pretty face with me and my men. We should make it on a full gallop in about a quarter of an hour."

"But does the Captain know we are coming?" Jani asked. "I had told him we would board first thing in the morning."

"Yes, he already knows and there is a price on his head and he desires to be off before he can be tracked down by these vandals and desecrators of the law. The Innkeeper made all arrangements to see you safely there and that this ship leave safely as his grand daughter will be going to Ireland to visit family there."

Jani remembered the young woman who had served their evening meal earlier. He smiled at the thought of her company with them. "That is good and well, Dairmuid. Now let us be on our way quickly before they come back to search the Inn for us."

~~~
Jani smelled the scent of fresh flowers again and all apprehension left his mind. He felt the protection about him as he lifted Gwneth upon the horse. She was so light and her great beauty struck him again. There were stirrings in his heart as he climbed upon the fine steed behind her and put his arms around her as they raced off for the ship.

There was not much light but he managed to follow the main road in the darkness. The horse was breathing hard and in a full sweat as they raced for their lives. At any time their pursuers could return to the Inn to discover that they had fled. Jani could not even bear to think about what he would do if Helena and Dairmuid were ambushed.

As he raced up towards the ship he saw Dairmuid and Helena standing and waiting for their safe arrival. The Captain stood ready to leave as soon as they boarded. Dairmuid pulled Gwneth easily to the ground as they rode up. Jani slid to the ground out of breath and Helena helped him up. He was having a difficult time in her long skirt and cape.

"We must go now!" Dairmuid shouted. "They were in hot pursuit of us when they saw us galloping off this way!" The four quickly boarded the ship and the few belongings had already been put safely on the ship in special quarters for the ladies.

The ship sliced through the dark water as they looked back and heard the angry voices cursing them as they went safely on their way.

Jani spoke up first, "Helena, do you think it would be possible to have my own clothes back?" She giggled again and they went in her room to change. She helped him out of the dress and cape. Her thoughts were only on their safe arrival here and the goodness and protection from on high.

This was the first time he had been alone with Helena like this. She removed his clothing from herself as he watched entranced. Her skin was so white and radiant. Tears came to his eyes and he reached for her. He pulled her close to him and kissed her mouth again. He wanted her to be his wife so much, yet something seemed wrong.

Helena pulled away and hurriedly grabbed her dress and slipped it on. She blushed in modesty as she realized his feelings for her. She could not speak...she could not tell him what she already knew about their arriving in Dublin. She quietly slipped out on deck and stood leaning on the rail. Jani walked up behind her and put his arm around her.

"Helena, what is it my love? You know it is my desire to marry you and have you as my wife and companion. What stopped you in there? Why did you not want to give yourself to me?" Tears slid down her cheeks as she let the feelings surface. She could not bring herself to tell him that he would make other choices when they arrived in Dublin. He held her as she cried softly.

"Jani, I will never give myself to any man until I am his wife. I must keep myself pure or lose my many gifts of the spirit. As much as I love you, I cannot give myself to you yet. It is not the time and our love must go through some hard testing." He looked at her feeling that her words were true, yet not wanting to understand them.

"I have many conditions placed upon me after returning from His presence and asking to come back for you. I must allow you to make choices and allow things to happen in His way...to fulfill the blessing you were given."

Jani still did not understand her words. He knew she was visibly upset and decided to leave her alone. He could not forget her beautiful body and how much he longed for her. He heard someone calling his name and turned to see Dairmuid. "Jani, I have taken Gwneth to her quarters and she is now sleeping soundly beside Cambria, the Innkeeper's grand daughter. You should get some rest yourself. It has been a long and eventful night for all of us." He smiled at Jani as he realized the turmoil Jani's heart was in.

He was overcome with a deep desire to sleep and knew he would soon be 'light traveling'. He would talk to Helena after he obtained some much needed sleep. He headed for a room prepared with a vessel of wine and some bread to break and eat. He was too tired to eat again and simply laid things down and fell upon his bed in a deep sleep.

~~~
Helena felt someone beside her. Her heart quieted and she turned to see Dairmuid standing there watching her. He took her hand and kissed it as he looked in her eyes. "You are even more beautiful and alluring in your own clothing," he said with a teasing grin. She looked down for a moment and blushed. "I am so honored to have been able to help you escape, Helena."

Helena felt the same familiar feeling again but dismissed it as some whim of hers as she studied his features. His eyes were very kind and had softened from when she had first seen him. "Are you always as a sword of steel with everyone you meet for the first time?" she asked. "Or are you truly one of the velvet demeanor, richly soft and very comforting?"

It was his turn to look away as he realized she could see right into his heart. He was drawn to her and felt an awe in her presence and light. He knew he wanted her and the love she radiated to him. He dared not speak for fear Jani would return and know his true thoughts for Helena. She put her arms around Dairmuid's waist and laid her head upon his chest.

Dairmuid's heart was pounding as he pulled her closely and felt her softness against himself. He wished he could have her all to himself yet he remembered that he had a wife and family at home in Ireland. He would have done anything just to be near Helena but his honor kept telling him that she did not belong to him.

Helena looked up again then spoke, "Dairmuid, I am very tired. I need to get some rest. I appreciate so much you risking your life to bring me safely away to the ship." Dairmuid was lost in his own thoughts but bent down to tenderly kiss her on her forehead. He escorted her back to her quarters then hugged her goodnight. Helena's sweet scent lingered with the memory of how she had felt in his arms.

~~~
There were excited shouts from the crew as the coast of Dublin loomed into sight. Gwneth and Cambria had become fast friends as they were the same age. Cambria had told her of her family in Ireland and the warmth and love that would greet them there. Jani ran about with Dairmuid gathering up their few possessions and preparing to leave the ship.

Helena stood quiet and studied both of them. Her heart loved them both. She remembered them from another time before their birth into mortality. She had felt a familiarity with Dairmuid when she first saw him. She remembered going in spirit as she had lain down to sleep and the things those in spirit had shown her. She could not tell either of them what she knew. It would be a hard test to prove each of them.

Jani turned and smiled radiantly at Helena. Her heart was sad. She knew who he would meet in Dublin and that it would take him away from her. He was so eager to go with Dairmuid that in his excitement he did not notice the difference in Helena. She thought about her choice to remain pure. Had she made a mistake?

One choice on her part could have completely changed things for Jani, yet she knew she had done the right thing. She loved him too much to not allow him to make his own choices. She must let him freely choose the direction his life would take. She wished she could spare him the heartache ahead but it would open his eyes and heart to true love and happiness for his entire posterity.
~~~